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Parts of Yourself You Were Looking To Complete With Past/current S/O

Pariahprose

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 14, 2013
Messages
213
Location
United States-Georgia
The way I have always looked at romantic relationships is that we are trying to complete ourselves. We are trying to find the person that completes the puzzle of our soul and makes us truly one being. How do my fellow BLers feel on this idea of romantic relationships? I am not talking about the hit it and quit it kind either. I am talking about relationships of at least six months to where you begin at least to really get to know the person you are with. Also, anyone else actually take the time to look at past S/O's and attempt to see what part of themselves that they were trying to complete? How does what you were trying to complete compare with your current S/O?

I consider myself as having four serious relationships. The first one was the girl I lost my virginity too, she could not have been anymore opposite than me. Didn't do drugs, went to church, and about as dumb as a box of rocks for the most part X.x IMO, everyone dates somebody opposite of them at least once and in this relationship, an individual isn't really trying to complete themselves as much as they are trying to go as far away from themselves as possible.Was with this girl on and off for almost seven years X.x The second, I was with her for about seven months. To me, she represented the dark quiet beauty that I see in myself, but it did not last because she could not handle me picking her brain trying to get to know her. She couldn't overcome her own darkness to see the beauty in it. The third girl, well, I was trying to complete the fiend in myself but after about 8 months of a relationship based solely on drugs, I realized that I did not want to complete the inner fiend in my soul (not to mention my pockets were hurting by that time, lol). The fourth, and my current S/O is an interesting one. She is different yet the same as me...The same yet different...but still herself as well. She is like a combination of the other three rolled into one but also her own separate piece of my soul. I honestly feel more complete with her than I have the others, not to mention I feel that the completeness I get with her is going to do one of two things, we are either going to feed the dark side of the other, emotionally rip each other to shreds, and leave ourselves jaded completely to any future chance of a healthy relationship or we are going to feed the positives of one another, help each other discover pieces of ourselves, and use our discovery to have a long,healthy,understanding relationship. I have been with her for almost three years now.

Pariahprose
 
I have never been looking to complete myself with my s/o. I don't need another person to complete me. I'm me - that's it. If I want to be "more", then I will work on that individually.

I have had two serious relationships - my ex and my boyfriend. I wasn't as content with myself when I was with my ex. But it is not my boyfriend that made me happier with myself. It was me. I just happen to be dating him at the time.
 
I'm a romantic and a girl in every way, but I don't think I look at anyone to complete me.

Love and fun. That's all I want because I can take care of the rest myself.

If I had a daughter I would hope that I instill in her that she is amazing without the help of any man to complete her.
 
i am a whole and never will need to be completed.

i really have a hard time with the idea that a relationship is a single person. seems kind of weird

in order to have a healthy relationship you need to be yourself and with someone else
 
Someone to chill me out instead of me shooting dope

Someone to feel like family as I have no connection (other than financial) with my family

Someone I could make happy, as I feel all I contribute to this world is shittynes, and I like seeing people be happy
 
Someone to chill me out instead of me shooting dope

Someone to feel like family as I have no connection (other than financial) with my family

Someone I could make happy, as I feel all I contribute to this world is shittynes, and I like seeing people be happy

why don't you have a connection with your family other than money?
everyone can contribute something positive to the world its up to you:)

even general butt naked has done some positive things and i'm pretty sure nothing you did was as bad as the shit that guy got up to...
 
I share this view to a degree; the people I'm attracted too often project qualities of myself that i have ignored or suppressed, the relationship itself works as a ground for me to realize this about myself an integrate that understanding into my person.

The last girl i was with was very responsible, mature and organized in life. Cool, collected and calm with her emotions.. she was very much engaged with reality in every aspect. Myself however was more like the perpetual wanderer, no direction and no idea.. heavy philosophical value system with virtually nothing to my name apart from the clothes on my back, emotions that ran high and low periodically.

She became that source of stability that i lacked in life, and i provided her with an escape from everyday life.

It inevitability ended, with me feeling like i 'lost' a part of myself.. when really it was me re-discovering a part of myself through her.

in order to have a healthy relationship you need to be yourself and with someone else

Agreed, im still coming to accept myself.. so it usually plays out through my relationships.
 
why don't you have a connection with your family other than money?
everyone can contribute something positive to the world its up to you:)

even general butt naked has done some positive things and i'm pretty sure nothing you did was as bad as the shit that guy got up to...

Relationship with my family is fucked, as many people's are, mostly cuz the house/parents was incredibly tense and unpleasant for most of my life there, and I'm a recovering junkie while my younger sister is on her way to Harvard basically.

Unfamiliar with the general you speak of lol, but IMHO just cuz I haven't done that much bad stuff doesn't make me good, it just makes me "meh"
 
I haven't had an s/o, but the closest I ever came, I was trying to complete my vagina...with his penis.
 
I don't think it's that the other person completes you so much as you two have "work" to do together. It's about learning and growing, and whoever you are with is the next phase of your personal development as an individual. You're still separate people though.
 
Relationship with my family is fucked, as many people's are, mostly cuz the house/parents was incredibly tense and unpleasant for most of my life there, and I'm a recovering junkie while my younger sister is on her way to Harvard basically.

Unfamiliar with the general you speak of lol, but IMHO just cuz I haven't done that much bad stuff doesn't make me good, it just makes me "meh"

general butt naked is pretty evil (a modern day wannabe hitler) and now hes gotten away with his crimes by repenting as a born again christian

hmm sounds like your family wasn't all about the love, which is sad. sounds like you need to get your self esteem from something good you can do with your life...

I haven't had an s/o, but the closest I ever came, I was trying to complete my vagina...with his penis.

ahaha i love this so much
 
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