Mental Health Panic attacks induced by every drug I do

[Kyl]

So a little background about me, this is my first post and I don't really know where to post anywhere else.
I'm an 18 year old Male soon to be 19. I am 6'0 tall and weigh 135 lbs I have history with depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and PTSD due to trauma when I was 15 of losing my Father. I am currently under a lot of stress due to legal trouble because I was caught with a marijuana pipe at school and I have went to jail over it.

Now what my problem is, I keep having these fucking panic attacks whenever I do any drug. I have history with 3 mushroom trips, 1 lsd trip, numerous cocaine binges, and used to be an every day stoner. I think this all started is when I had my first panic attack. I took 3g of Psilocybin Mushrooms and made them into tea, ate the shrooms left over, and drank the tea. Went outside to smoke a cigarette and became very anxious. Started to feel disconnect from reality which I knew was very normal with Mushrooms. I instantly ran around the house got into my car and sat there staring forward with my car battery running. 20 minutes passes and my friends come looking for me and I'm just sitting there and they're all freaked out. I felt so nauseated, disconnected, sleepy (which made me more anxious), anyway had myself convinced I was dying. So I went upstairs to take a shower when I got in and the water touched me, I fell to the shower floor and started shaking, my heart was probably 120-140 bpm and I thought I would pass out but never did. Needless to say no more mushrooms since then.

Fast forward 2 months and I stopped smoking weed for 3 weeks and got drunk and decided to take a couple hits off a loud ass blunt. After doing this I went outside to smoke a cigarette (when I'm feeling weird I go and smoke because it feels normal) It's about 3am I'm drunk and just got high for the first time in 3 weeks. I noticed my heart beat elevating, asked my friend to feel my chest and he said holy shit man it's like 150bpm and when I heard that I freaked even more. I told everyone we have to go I have to GO HOME. Everything suddenly became so urgent I felt disconnected again, tunnel like vision, blurred thoughts, just very out of it kind of feeling. I had forgotten what it was like to be "crossfaded" and it just sent me into panic.

I really love drugs. Weed and Cocaine are my two favorites. I only snort cocaine and I don't shoot it or smoke it. I occasionally would sprinkle some over some weed but people say that doesn't do shit. I only did it for fun. but now at this point in my life I can't enjoy any drug that I do. I even still get some anxiety even when drinking alcohol. It's fucking ridiculous and even my friends have noticed my emotional and mental state has been way off than usual. I just want to enjoy what I used to without feeling like I'm going to fucking die.

 

[herbavore]

I think your best bet is to listen to your body right now. Take care of the anxiety. Look up things on the web like mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy, etc and try to focus on 1) how, why and when you feel the anxiety and 2) how your thoughts then amplify it and hold it in place, habituating you to this loop. It's not that big of a deal to give up drugs for a while. Cleanse your body, eat right, develop interests that are for your own deep satisfaction, get out in nature a lot and let your brain keep developing without putting it on a chemical roller coaster all the time. You've got a long life ahead of you and plenty of time to use substances carefully and responsibly if that's what you choose to do.

 

[Transcendence]

It's a very common experience for people who previously enjoyed marijuana to find that it makes them extremely anxious after using for a couple years. I had the same experience when I was younger. I used to enjoy it as much as you, but for me it just hasn't been worth it for a while now.

I'm sorry to hear about your legal trouble, really. I obviously don't know the details, but nobody deserved to be locked in a cage for possessing a pipe.

When I was your age I went a little overboard with psychedelics. They have their time and place for many people. I was too curious and I crossed the line between experimentation and abuse. I remember being more or less a wreck for about a year afterwards.

Commit yourself to just a month without using. Occupy your time with whatever you like besides drugs. Everyone needs to take a mental health break every now and then. The first couple of days will be slow and boring. After the first week you'll probably notice how interested you suddenly are once more in all of the hobbies you enjoyed before drugs came into the picture. The earlier that you intervene, the easier it is to prevent anxiety problems from snowballing into a trainwreck.

Good luck. I'm fighting a battle with crippling anxiety as well. Let's try to help each other.

 

[Rakaposhi]

I have now been experimenting with chemicals for around 20 years, and I still love it. But there is one thing I wont do anymore - weed. I haven't touched it for about 15 years actually. Despite being one of the more socially and legally acceptable drugs you can do, I also think its actually one of the worst for mental health. I've had a number of friends that have stuck to weed only - and generally (apart from the massive laziness and apathy associated with smoking weed!) they have have enjoyed it for a long time without real issues. But most people I know who have mixed smoking weed with taking 'harder' stuff.... all have stopped smoking it because of the paranoia and anxiety it instantly brings

So my advice.. listen to herbavore firstly and my two cents .. avoid weed for life

 

[Kyl]

Thanks so much for your advice. I really needed the kind words and advice and I love going out into nature. It's about one of the last hobbies I still enjoy. I think I may go for a hike this week. Thanks again. Much love

 

[Kyl]

It's a very common experience for people who previously enjoyed marijuana to find that it makes them extremely anxious after using for a couple years. I had the same experience when I was younger. I used to enjoy it as much as you, but for me it just hasn't been worth it for a while now.

I'm sorry to hear about your legal trouble, really. I obviously don't know the details, but nobody deserved to be locked in a cage for possessing a pipe.

When I was your age I went a little overboard with psychedelics. They have their time and place for many people. I was too curious and I crossed the line between experimentation and abuse. I remember being more or less a wreck for about a year afterwards.

Commit yourself to just a month without using. Occupy your time with whatever you like besides drugs. Everyone needs to take a mental health break every now and then. The first couple of days will be slow and boring. After the first week you'll probably notice how interested you suddenly are once more in all of the hobbies you enjoyed before drugs came into the picture. The earlier that you intervene, the easier it is to prevent anxiety problems from snowballing into a trainwreck.

Good luck. I'm fighting a battle with crippling anxiety as well. Let's try to help each other.

I will try this out. I love all of the advice I have received and I'm definitely down to help each other out. Much love

 

[dmtmixalis]

Lay off the gear until you've reinstated you're cognition. A break should allow you the time to find yourself, which should stop the panic attacks in the future.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

I think your best bet is to listen to your body right now. Take care of the anxiety. Look up things on the web like mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy, etc and try to focus on 1) how, why and when you feel the anxiety and 2) how your thoughts then amplify it and hold it in place, habituating you to this loop. It's not that big of a deal to give up drugs for a while. Cleanse your body, eat right, develop interests that are for your own deep satisfaction, get out in nature a lot and let your brain keep developing without putting it on a chemical roller coaster all the time. You've got a long life ahead of you and plenty of time to use substances carefully and responsibly if that's what you choose to do.

I agree and this is good advice except the bolded.

You should seek a professional regarding the anxiety. Look up some therapists in your area and what insurances they offer. Schedule an appt. There are all different types of therapists such as CBT (who are more problem-solution focused), psychodynamic (interpersonal, history, dreams), person-centered (listeners). I would only recommend looking into these different types of therapy so you can find a therapist that meets your needs. Most psychologists dabble in at least two types and can really mold the therapy catering towards your needs.

 

[Makeloveinthisdrug]

It sounds like you're afraid of dying.
If that is the case, i don't think you should take psychedelics anymore.
Coke, speed, mdma are bad if you're having anxiety too.


If you wanna continue, then i suggest you take a long break from it.

 

[Mr excuse me sir]

First just wanted to reiterate the advice given about giving the gear away for a while. Specifically I'd give the marijuana the boot for three months minimum. I had to take three years off before I was able to smoke again without extreme anxiety. This is a common thing, do harder drugs eventually weed turns on most, often forever. For some reason I can smoke now without any anxiety which I do believe is a state of mind. That said it took me a year of smoke, panic attack, Xanax once a week before I gave it away.


I remember being this sorta age feeling so damn anxious about the rest of my life that I found I was spending so much time and energy just thinking too much and not living.
It takes time to find your way and build your own self that's uniquely you. Focus on the things you may have some control over and honestly stop stressing. Keep caring of course but the negative thought loops really don't help and I wish I'd listened to all the people giving me the same advice but I tend to have to learn things twice the hard way.

 

[MDpatient]

I have now been experimenting with chemicals for around 20 years, and I still love it. But there is one thing I wont do anymore - weed. I haven't touched it for about 15 years actually. Despite being one of the more socially and legally acceptable drugs you can do, I also think its actually one of the worst for mental health. I've had a number of friends that have stuck to weed only - and generally (apart from the massive laziness and apathy associated with smoking weed!) they have have enjoyed it for a long time without real issues. But most people I know who have mixed smoking weed with taking 'harder' stuff.... all have stopped smoking it because of the paranoia and anxiety it instantly brings

So my advice.. listen to herbavore firstly and my two cents .. avoid weed for life

I didn't use weed for about 15 years myself too, after about 3 years of overdoing it in college. That kinda opened the path for me to become a heavy drinker, and a binge drinker, since the adjunct wasn't there to help me cut down on the booze. Then I went 3 years sober. First time around experimenting with weed brought a few lovely highs and a lot of relief from my chronic anxiety and complex ptsd but after a while it brought a pretty rough round of depression, probably it was the booze too, but what was worse were the obsessive thought patterns it instigated. I became Pure O OCD, boy that was tough while it lasted though it didn't last that long.

So I ushered weed out, plus I think the quality of weed I was getting was at least dubious. But then my arch vice and nemesis kicked into high gear and I used to binge at least once a week, with either ridiculous or downright life threatening endings to my binges.

To be fair, I probably shouldn't have been frequenting the places I was and a couple of wrong words, but nothing too serious, to some really crazy motherfuckers, or even out of the blue and violence ensued. Plus alcohol really wasn't doing it for me anymore, first drink I got irritable, second one a bit more so, third one maybe feeling a bit better, fourth one made me terse, fifth one fucked me up and maybe relieved me a bit with a xanax on the side (great way to have your heart go halt on you btw), the sixth one was probably with some broad in a hotel room that I wouldn't have looked at for a second time had I been not drunk, or a call girl and some more wine. My sorta saving grace was that I could fuck for hours no problemo even with so much alcohol in my system, so a bit of a carnal exercise helped things out.

And then, though I digress and this should probably be in the alcohol thread - but I ll come to weed soon, there were the hang overs, I was fucking destroyed, I couldn't eat much of anything I had to up the xanax's to get some relief from the intense fragility and the sheer fear that was somehow contained in my place but was close to unbearable if I went to my job, or just out.

So now I get to meet a girl who's really into weed and we had a fabulous time together for a while, and I start getting some real serious quantities. This time around it didn't cause anxiety for me, it kinda spaced me out a bit and sedated, tranquillised me. Then I went for a bottle of wine a few spliffs a night combo, and small spliff before work in the morning, which worked just fine until depression got to me (should have taken an AD then...), but not serious depression. Fact is a really enjoyed weed with wine, while wine alone made me anxious and terse, wide alone was cool but somehow lacking. (Then everything got fucked in my life but that's non drug related, and it's another story altogether).

So I have really mixed feelings with weed. My shrink tells me it's all THC, I trust the man, and I respect him, but I can't help but feeling that the cbd/thc ratio is the real deal and that had I had the chance to have a few choice plants at home with good bright and energising seeds and some sedating ones, that is had I had the chance to control the quality of weed I 'd be much better off.

To sum up, though I am anxiety prone (well I should say I was, because now, as per another thread I am fighting treatment resistant MDD, worse thing ever by far), and I had GAD for sure, I worked with CBT on it (what a load of rubbish that was) AD's and benzos. With weed I quit benzos, drastically reduced my drinking and felt much much calmer. So although I too have heard about weed's huge anxiety inducing potential that's not been my experience. Depression yes, anxiety no.

So, Rakaposhi, you say avoid weed for life, I am currently on the path of avoiding booze for life (anyway by itself it's a pipe dream that it will ever work for me to give me calmness and pleasure, let alone the alcoholism potential, and it aint no fun being a fucking drunk)... but part of me wants to be able to have a spliff and a few glasses of wine in the distant future. So if one avoids weed (which has some beneficial properties too), goes on the wagon with booze (which as tons of detrimental physical side effects), what's left then to savour for the occasional high or off time, pretty much nothing imho? So what would your experimentation suggest in my case?

 

[Boku_]

As others have said take a break man and maybe see how you go off the weed