• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Mental Health Panic attacks are ruining my life, guys

zombiesarepeaceful

zombiesarepeaceful

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 2, 2006
Messages
2,481
Location
off the grid
So I'm not sure if I posted about this back when it happened. I had an extreme panic attack or something.

Here's the story:

I tried meth for the first (and last) time back in Feb '12. I was out at the bar, some guy offered it to me so we went back to my house and he shot me up (probably my first mistake, since that's the most intense method of taking it)

I was fine, he drove me back to the bar several hours later to pick up my car. I was still high and felt fine. Then it all started going bad. I was driving back home and my forehead started going numb. Ok, whatever I though. But slowly I started to go numb all over, heart racing, shaking so bad that I couldn't sit still, it got to the point that I was laying on the floor at home in the fetal position, shaking and any move I made, made my heart beat faster and waves of numbness shoot through my body. Now, this has happened in the past as a result of taking spice, and also before when I mixed a bunch of drugs. Those times before, I continued about my life and didn't let these episodes affect me. But this time I was so scared that I was gonna die, I called 911. They came and got me, my pulse was up to 180. They gave me a beta blocker (I already was taking metoprolol) and some ativan. They did an ekg at the hospital and everything and didn't find anything wrong with me so released me. Then I kept having these attacks for no goddamn reason. I even quit drinking caffeine and taking my prescribed adderall.

Finally I got my dr to switch my heart meds (I had been taking metoprolol for years because of tachycardia and high BP) and he switched me to atenolol and cardizem. I did great after that. Still had the attacks but they wouldn't get to that extent that they did when I called 911.

After a year and a half I was finally able to take sips of coke or anything caffeinated at a time and be ok. Anything more than a few sips and I'd freak out though (I think this is mostly mental, not real).

I've seen a cardiologist and they did a bunch of tests including a stress test and although I felt like I was dying again (another reason I think it's all in my head) they said I was doing great and found nothing abnormal on the EKG.

A couple months ago at work, I was drinking caffeine and accidentally drank too much. I freaked out, had to take a xanax and had to go home cuz I was so freaked out.

Now I live in constant fear of having another panic attack because I'm afraid that a panic attack will kill me. When in reality, they can't. It's just caused by an excess release of adrenaline. It only feels like hell.

I can't even go for a jog or anything without freaking out and being afraid that just cuz my pulse is elevated from running, that I'm not going to die. It's fucking normal for your pulse to rise during exercise, yet I still freak out. I hate myself. I know it's all in my head.

The only thing that can stop a panic attack for me, is drinking alcohol. A few shots or a beer and I'm fine again. I don't really like benzos.

I guess I'm just looking for help here. I need help convincing myself that it's OH FUCKING KAY. That I'm not going to die. That I can overcome my anxiety. Any tips for things to calm myself during a panic attack would be great.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
What I find helpful is to take a break from what I'm doing and breathe in and out until the panic is gone. There are breathing exercises you can practice. Inhale exhale and so it too fast. Just the right length until you are calmer. Yes most of the symptom is mental and it is your mind playing tricks on you so you gotta learn to practice again that all of this is going to pass.
 
My 2 cents I only read the first two paragraphs of your thread, but maybe your panic attacks are stemming from that meth 'freak out' you had? Maybe your thinking a lil too much about the 'bad' experience you had with meth that your panicking yourself?

Look I've never IV'ed or done meth so I wont put myself in your shoes.

I do experience major panic attacks and sometimes if I think about a bad moment in life or in general I will panic the fuck out.

-edit-

I read your last paragraph about calming panic attacks, okay firstly I would at least try to understand where and when you get these panic attacks, it would possibly make you understand why you are having these episodes. But if your thinking of a natural way of getting rid of the panic attacks id go with Maya here, but everyone's different I take a scrip for my panic attacks (benzo -Kpins).
 
Last edited:
It is pretty common for the anxiety and stress of the possibility of having a panic attack to sometimes cause them. What do you do to try and control your anxiety and are there any clear triggers beside the one you receive from cafine and other stimulants. Some times it helps a person if they know they have a fast acting benzo lozenge in their pockets for almost instant relief. IMO the use of benzos on an as as needed basis and not on any perpetual all day everyday dosage is a good way to address this with medication. I also think that things like regular exercise and techniques such as meditation and cognitive therapy can have a strong response on anxiety and panic attacks.
 
Like my anxiety is so bad that I can't even eat a piece of candy for fear that the caffeine in the chocolate will kill me. It's fucking stupid and it makes me miserable, I feel horrible about myself.

I know that the panic attacks stem from the experience with meth. I've had panic attacks that intense before so idk why it affected me this way now, but I can't stand it. I want my life back.
 
Same here zombiesarepeaceful I also don't feel normal. Every day I feel my symptom and I just want to be back to how I used to be. Its not as bad as it used to be but I'm counting on more time for my brain to heal. I think that for some people, certain drugs trigger some type of anxiety snd we just need to train our brains to revert bsck to its calmed state. Just try to adapt to it somehow and just let time heal.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top