Relapse Oxy Relapse

[Michael_25]

I used to have a relatively small habit: 40mg a day. I had been clean for 18 days and been feeling better. However, I found some Percocets in my medicine cabinet, slipped up, and got high. Now I feel guilty, angry and ashamed for no being able to control my cravings.

Question: Will I go back to square from detoxing for 18 days? Will I have to relieve the initial physical withdrawal symptoms after dosing just this one time?

 

[Slow_Mobius]

This can depend on the length of your habit, how many times you've been through WD, etc. It's highly unlikely that you'll have more than some rebound symptoms after 18 days. it might worsen the PAWS, but you're past the acute WD phase.

 

[Michael_25]

This can depend on the length of your habit, how many times you've been through WD, etc. It's highly unlikely that you'll have more than some rebound symptoms after 18 days. it might worsen the PAWS, but you're past the acute WD phase.

Over the years I've quit 5 or 6 times ... always relapsing. However, my longest opioid-free lasted nearly roughly 2 months. My current habit has been daily for the past 4 months now.

 

[zebedee79]

Most people slip up at some point when trying to quit, don't be hard on yourself. Its important to not be ashamed of yourself as it can lead to thoughts of fuck it, I've fucked up now may as well just get wasted. Trust me mate you've got nothing to be ashamed of and going 18 days without is something to be proud of. It's unlikely you'll experience any bad physical withdrawal symptoms, though you may feel some psychological symptoms, stick at whatever you've done to get this far as it's obviously working and things will surely get better soon. Good luck mate.

 

[Michael_25]

Most people slip up at some point when trying to quit, don't be hard on yourself. Its important to not be ashamed of yourself as it can lead to thoughts of fuck it, I've fucked up now may as well just get wasted. Trust me mate you've got nothing to be ashamed of and going 18 days without is something to be proud of. It's unlikely you'll experience any bad physical withdrawal symptoms, though you may feel some psychological symptoms, stick at whatever you've done to get this far as it's obviously working and things will surely get better soon. Good luck mate.

Thanks, mate. Your words are much appreciated.

 

[gmlifer]

The guilt is a good sign dude. That means you are serious about quitting. You slipped up but I wouldn't call it a full relapse. Everyone else seems to have answered the withdrawal question so I just mainly wanted to share my support and let you know that what you are feeling is good and that I believe you are headed in the right direction. Good luck bro and stay strong.

 

[Slow_Mobius]

Michael, if you'd like, I can move this over to sober living or you can start a new thread over there to get some support.

 

[Cdkman]

Not really square one..something i learned a little too late is all that guilt shame and anger comes from the addiction as well.its not just the craving to be high..The mind wants u to keep using..stay level headed and on track..if u could use once every 18 days its better than active addiction.

 

[Michael_25]

Michael, if you'd like, I can move this over to sober living or you can start a new thread over there to get some support.

Thanks, Slow_Mobius. I'd appreciate it if you could transfer this to Sober Living. It's not just opioids I'm trying to quit, but also benzos and alcohol, as both are adversely affecting my life.

 

[Slow_Mobius]

Od => sl

 

[Jabberwocky]

Hi Michael_25!

If you just lapsed and spend a day or two using oxycodone after having already been through the acute withdrawal detox from your previous dependency on it, it is unlikely you will suffer through that same agony again. You'll only end up withdrawing if you have been using long enough to become dependent again, which it doesn't sound like you have. Your recent use will likely have triggered some powerful psychological cravings for opioids however, which can be just as difficult as the acute withdrawal syndrome.

What does your alcohol use look like these days? Could you give us a bit of a history of how long you've been drinking, how much you drink and how often? And would you do the same regarding your benzo use? This will help us give you the best possible feedback.

Welcome to SL!

 

[Michael_25]

Hi Michael_25!

If you just lapsed and spend a day or two using oxycodone after having already been through the acute withdrawal detox from your previous dependency on it, it is unlikely you will suffer through that same agony again. You'll only end up withdrawing if you have been using long enough to become dependent again, which it doesn't sound like you have. Your recent use will likely have triggered some powerful psychological cravings for opioids however, which can be just as difficult as the acute withdrawal syndrome.

What does your alcohol use look like these days? Could you give us a bit of a history of how long you've been drinking, how much you drink and how often? And would you do the same regarding your benzo use? This will help us give you the best possible feedback.

Welcome to SL!

Hello Toothpastedog! Thanks for your post. I'm now 32 years old, and have been drinking steadily since the age of 18. Over the past 12 months, I would binge drink at least three times a week, consuming 15 to 20 standard drinks a session. Strangely, I rarely get hangovers anymore. As for my diazepam use, well, that started in 2013, when my psychiatrist Rxed me 20mg a day. At first, I could feel the effects of diazepam at a dose of 10mg. However, those days are long gone. Fast forward to the present, and I now need 100mg to feel the effect, but I can never recapture the same effect I got from taking 10mg when I first started.

I take 100mg of diazepam twice a week, and most of the time run out of Valium before my next appointment with my psychiatrist. Furthermore, I think the long-term diazepam use has come to kick me in the ass. I sufferer from rebound anxiety. For instance, I will wake up in the morning and feel a tightness in my chest and feel short of breath. I can alleviate these symptoms by either laying back down in bed, or taking more diazepam.

Ideally, I would like to abstain from all drugs; so no more opioids, no more booze, no more benzos. Having said that, while I do wish to stop taking benzos, I'm scared of having panic attacks and not having something to alleviate them. I take propranolol, but it does very little. So, I'm not sure where to go from here ... Any tips/advice would be appreciated. Thanks all!

 

[jdfisse]

Thanks for sharing your struggle with us brother. Benzo and alcohol detox is no joke. Bringing benzos into the picture probably helped reduce hangovers or you just stayed drunk. If you have the resources it would be a good idea to seek some medical assistance for detoxing.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Hello Toothpastedog! Thanks for your post. I'm now 32 years old, and have been drinking steadily since the age of 18. Over the past 12 months, I would binge drink at least three times a week, consuming 15 to 20 standard drinks a session. Strangely, I rarely get hangovers anymore. As for my diazepam use, well, that started in 2013, when my psychiatrist Rxed me 20mg a day. At first, I could feel the effects of diazepam at a dose of 10mg. However, those days are long gone. Fast forward to the present, and I now need 100mg to feel the effect, but I can never recapture the same effect I got from taking 10mg when I first started.

I take 100mg of diazepam twice a week, and most of the time run out of Valium before my next appointment with my psychiatrist. Furthermore, I think the long-term diazepam use has come to kick me in the ass. I sufferer from rebound anxiety. For instance, I will wake up in the morning and feel a tightness in my chest and feel short of breath. I can alleviate these symptoms by either laying back down in bed, or taking more diazepam.

Ideally, I would like to abstain from all drugs; so no more opioids, no more booze, no more benzos. Having said that, while I do wish to stop taking benzos, I'm scared of having panic attacks and not having something to alleviate them. I take propranolol, but it does very little. So, I'm not sure where to go from here ... Any tips/advice would be appreciated. Thanks all!

As jdfisse wrote, definitely get some medical assistance for your taper/detox off benzodiazepines. You're already on diazepam though, and that is an ideal benzo to use tapering. Using other gabaergic substances while you taper or try detoxing will only make the process that much more difficult and painful however, so please try and limit the gabaergic substance you use to only your prescribed diazepam/medication.

You might also want to look into baclofen to use as supplement to your taper as you reach the end of it and as you transition off to abstinence from benzodiazepines. Maintain abstinence from alcohol and other gabaergics during this entire process, particularly towards the end and when you are newly abstinent, will make things a lot more manageable.

If you find yourself continuing to be drawn to supplementing your diazepam use with other substances like alcohol, try and look into less harmful ones for you right now like cannabis. Using cannabis isn't necessarily problematic during a benzo taper like alcohol use is.

Taper off such a high dose of benzos is quite the process and a huge commitment. If you plan on doing it comfortably, plan on the process taking many months. Doing it faster than is comfortable makes everything exponentially more challenging and uncomfortable, leading to slightly reduced odds in terms of creating a sustainable foundation to longer term recovery.