Opposite Sex During Recovery

[Mass08]

Sorry for the weird title I couldn't think of a fitting title mods feel free to rename if you think of a better one.

Just wondering if anyone else deals with this while staying clean. I've always had a girlfriend in my life pretty much since middle school (not the same one) and my ex who I hung out with regularly has gone back to drinking / drugging so I know that I can't see her anymore and I'm trying super hard to honestly have no contact with her. So now that she's out of my life I feel so lonely even though I have an awesome group of 6 dude's who are my best friends and we do everything together. I just feel like now that I'm clean I desperately need a girl in my life...I've always had the issue that I need a girl to like me in order for me to like myself does that make sense? I'm super early into recovery only 60 days clean and my sponsor keeps telling me that girls shouldn't be a priority right now but I'm a 23 year old male I love girls...not even just sex, I love their company. I don't really have any other close girls in my life atm so I keep having thoughts to try and chill with my ex even though that'd be a terrible idea. Anyone else dealing with anything similar or have any suggestions?

 

[RobotRipping]

is your issue like an under confident girl who seeks out validation from males?

Work on your self confidence is my suggestion or find something else that makes you happy. Your dependency on having a girlfriend is like a red flag that something is off, you can still have friends that are girls you know?

you have to learn to love yourself and who you are, that's a big part of the process of recovery.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

I'm going through some similar shit at six months clean right now.

Feel like I've missed out on so much because of my using and really obsessing over stuff. Having to learn to be less self-seeking.

 

[RedLeader]

I am probably going to get shit for this, but for your first year of recovery, if the sexuality is overwhelming, have one-night stands with people who don't do drugs. Don't get emotionally attached. Emotions are what can lead you to relapse. Keep it fun and safe. Work on the underlying stuff before seeking true love. But I understand how the sex drive can get so overwhelming that it is like being 14 again...