opiates for pain while in recovery

[LucidSDreamr]

I would like some views on this topic.

I currently am in recovery. I haven't abused drugs or alcohol for a month and am working with a 1 on 1 recovery counselor and going to meetings.

However, I am dealing with a painful flare of what is probably bladder damage from ketamine and other drug use (this was the thing that made me fully re-commit to recovery)

I have 10 mg hydrocodones, I give the script to my wife and she keeps in a safe i don't have access to (this was all my idea because i don't trust myself). She gives me 1 or two 10s a day when i'm having bad pain. I usually only take 5-10mg a day when in pain but yesterday had to have 20mg and lyrica. These pills are reserved for my back which has a history of surgery and chronic pain, though luckily it has been pain free for 6 months or so, que the bladder pain of course!

I find myself confused about how much pain i should just take and to what level it should be at to require hydrocodone. I'm so used to never feeling pain at all because i would just take a bunch of opioids in the past at even the slightest bothersome pain. I feel like i might still have that mindset somewhat, like when my bladder is bothering me but not killing me I take 5 mg to eliminate it.

I never have enough in my possession to get truly high, but taking my 20 mg all at once and lying and saying to my wife i took througout the day at work has crossed my mind. So has saying i took them each day and saving them up for a big dose to get high off of. I have had the determination not to pull such things yet. Honestly when i have a painful condition I'm very good at conserving opioids, its when I'm pain free and have them around that problems arise.

I'm more just wondering about the issue of standing pain vs. taking opioids to treat it and how that relates to recovery thoughts?

 

[Grinders Kiefers]

In my experience, it's really difficult to maintain a healthy relationship with pain medication once being in recovery. I was hit by a car last September, broke both knees and had to be hospitalized and spend time rehabbing in an assisted-living facility for about 2 months. My pain was so intense during the first month that it felt like there was no option but to take something, which I did. The second month was the hard part - the pain was still there, but had subsided considerably by that point. I was prescribed Oxycodone 3x/day every 4 hours, and often I'd be counting down the minutes to when I could get the pills, waiting for my fix. It felt like my mind would manifest physical pain or create other (plausible) reasons to take them even when I wasn't feeling much actual pain. I knew that I was catching a buzz, and justified it as being needed for pain...which it was, but my brain couldn't tell the difference once I got the drug in me.

I technically never went over the prescribed amount, and often went long periods without needing or asking for Oxycodone, but the internal struggle was almost unbearable. I was eventually discharged and sent home with 30-40 pills, which scared the shit out of me. I recruited the help of a rotating cast of friends and support who would do daily pill counts and keep me accountable. I don't think I could have done it any other way. Normally, the script would have been gone in a few days, but I was able to stick to the schedule. Opioids were never even my drug of choice, but they still held that power over me.

I realize your situation is a bit different than mine, but I think the same principles hold true. It takes a lot of determination and fortitude to keep pain medication around as an addict or someone with compulsive tendencies. You mentioned that the thought of taking the full 20mg at once or saving them up already crossed your mind. Maybe you haven't acted on that thought yet, but it could happen some day, and having the drugs right there makes it pretty easy. It might not even be the drugs themselves that cause issues, but the tendency to obsess and fixate on how to control and manage your usage.

 

[Tombs]

In my experience, it's really difficult to maintain a healthy relationship with pain medication once being in recovery. I was hit by a car last September, broke both knees and had to be hospitalized and spend time rehabbing in an assisted-living facility for about 2 months. My pain was so intense during the first month that it felt like there was no option but to take something, which I did. The second month was the hard part - the pain was still there, but had subsided considerably by that point. I was prescribed Oxycodone 3x/day every 4 hours, and often I'd be counting down the minutes to when I could get the pills, waiting for my fix. It felt like my mind would manifest physical pain or create other (plausible) reasons to take them even when I wasn't feeling much actual pain. I knew that I was catching a buzz, and justified it as being needed for pain...which it was, but my brain couldn't tell the difference once I got the drug in me.

Same story here. I'm clean from H for about 10 years now and liquor since Dec 2015.

I've recently had a bunch of surgeries and more on the docket and for the life of me can't control my usage.

IMO, I think it's good you gave the wifey the pills to put in a safe. No matter how much I tell myself not to touch my stash, I cannot.

 

[herbavore]

I hope no one takes this the wrong way but I do believe that outside of terrible pain, most pain is more tolerable than we think. I can't take opiate painkillers without extreme abdominal pain so that leaves me with pot and nsaids and acetominaphen for arthritis, joint pain from an autoimmune and most recently a broken bone/torn ligament, surgery and the ensuing recovery. They gave me IV morphine in the ambulance and I nearly passed out from the pain of the morphine! I find that pot coupled with acetominaphen=opiate level relief for acute pain but the arthritis/other joint pain is something I have decided to just accept as part of my life. I find that staying busy and distraction make it entirely possible to almost forget it sometimes. In other words shifting my focus off of the pain diminishes the pain.

 

[Tombs]

I hope no one takes this the wrong way but I do believe that outside of terrible pain, most pain is more tolerable than we think. I can't take opiate painkillers without extreme abdominal pain so that leaves me with pot and nsaids and acetominaphen for arthritis, joint pain from an autoimmune and most recently a broken bone/torn ligament, surgery and the ensuing recovery. They gave me IV morphine in the ambulance and I nearly passed out from the pain of the morphine! I find that pot coupled with acetominaphen=opiate level relief for acute pain but the arthritis/other joint pain is something I have decided to just accept as part of my life. I find that staying busy and distraction make it entirely possible to almost forget it sometimes. In other words shifting my focus off of the pain diminishes the pain.

We aren't exactly in disagreement. I do think a lot of the pain I feel may be psychological or exaggerated psychologically. At the same time, I've sustained so many near-fatal injuries that at this point I can't even really tell the difference - Why did my swiss cheese from bullets legs hurt so bad before I took these two percs? Could be ptsd, could be nerve damage. IDK.

All I know is that I need to get out of bed and I have magical pills that will make me functional today.

I can also agree that pot helps tremendously. I just got my medical card not too long ago and I'm really glad I can smoke it legally now. I would say the strains bred specifically for pain management are ALMOST as effective as opiates.

As far as distraction goes, it's tough to distract yourself when you're bedridden.

I'm not leaning one way or the other. I will always advocate for the substance or addiction free treatment if it is an option. At this point in my life, hopefully not the rest of my life, I'm dependent on these to do basic everyday things. No amount of medical pot or acetaminophen can do the same for me.

 

[Reanimator13]

If you tolerate the pain your mind will reset your pain level.. Its not pleasant. Its not fun but it is doable. After breaking my 10 year 300mg a day morphine habit the daily pain became quite a burden. I hung in there and finally it reset. In my case it took about 6 months. This is coming from a pain management perspective and long term opiate use.

Secondly... If your taking any opiate then your just prolonging your recovery.

Just for perspective...I have been dealing with two autoimmunes for over 30 years. One in my spine and one intestinal. Flares are hell... Especially when you get both at once. Pain is relative and your brain can control it...

R13

 

[Tombs]

Lucid,

Just popping in to say thanks. I got the idea from your original post to give up my meds to the SO. She was a little surprised but totally cool with it. It actually worked for me and I'm down to 1 pill 3 times a day. As long as I can crawl out of bed and do something, I'm good. Seriously great idea.

How is your sobriety/pain management program coming along?

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I'm more just wondering about the issue of standing pain vs. taking opioids to treat it and how that relates to recovery thoughts?

A lot of people can use hydrocodone, etc. responsibly, even if they have a propensity for heroin addiction.

I am personally going to avoid all opiates for as long as humanly possible, even though I never had a serious pull toward hydrocodone.

 

[Ds]

It's highly suggested that you give the medication to a friend or family member that will dose you accordingly, still it can be dangerous. setting off that 'phenomena of craving' aint no joke.

Around here where I'm at sadly it's really frowned upon if you take ANY mind/mood altering medicine, which I really think some people might have to consider taking an anti-depressant, or anti-anxiety medicine after being sober for a year or so, because a lot of the time the PAWS doesn't get any better.