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On the brink..

canucka

canucka

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 1, 2007
Messages
161
Location
CowTown
so ya.. im on the brink of existance.. my girl broke up with me a couple months ago..
she said that she didnt want me to use around her 3 year old son.. i did anyway seeing as i get sick without junk..
she found out by my pupils and left me.. it devastated me.. i loved that girl..
I was piss drunk a few days ago and decided to go to her house in a drunken stupor at 2:30 am to demand everything ive ever given her back.. ya.. i was pretty fucked..
Anyway, a guy answered the door.. but it was worse than you think.. it was an old freind of mine..
anyway.. long story short.. she's having another baby with that old 'friend' of mine.. within 1 month after leaving me.. a 6 month relationship..
i've relapsed and have been using heavily..
i need some sort of support or else im scared i might do something wreckless like slitting my wrists..
Can anyone pls pls pls offer any support?? convince me that lifes worth living or some shit..
 
Theres no going back from this option...no second chances, no do-overs...

On the other hand you have the option for a second chance at life...check into a support program perhaps?

Its not goung to be immediate and the road to recovering your life can seem overwhelming, but in the long run ypu have a chance at being happy again...at least whilw your alive you can always hit the reset button...

Cant do that if you kill yoursElf...what would your son think when he gets older?
 
MasterSplinter said:
Theres no going back from this option...no second chances, no do-overs...

On the other hand you have the option for a second chance at life...check into a support program perhaps?

Its not goung to be immediate and the road to recovering your life can seem overwhelming, but in the long run ypu have a chance at being happy again...at least whilw your alive you can always hit the reset button...

Cant do that if you kill yoursElf...what would your son think when he gets older?
Click to expand...

dude i dont have a son.. shes pregnant with a kid belonging to one of my oldest friedns.. who she apparently cheated on me with while i was seeing her..
But thanks for making me feel better.. shit..
 
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seriously?? noone has anything to say? im suicidal here.. i went to the homeless shelter in downtown today and saught help.. nothing.. ive been fucked on skag since i learned of it.. does anyone have any advice.. at all?? im desperate here.. pls..
 
The skag isn't going to help as I' sure you know. Most cities have detoxes that will take the uninsured, people who can't afford rehab etc. That would be my best advice, get into a detox and get off the junk. It's the first step to changing your life. Getting off opiates takes a lot of effort and time for the body and mind to heal, but it'l be worth it. Get your shyt together, you' then be more likey to meet someone new. Yeah breakups hurt bad, numbing out the pain only makes your problems disappear temporarily. I'd imagine taking this time to sort your self out and work on yourself will be the best way to rebuild your self esteem and confidence.
 
how many days have you been using? i would say your first priority is to get off the dope.. in my experience it just makes everything thats already shitty so much shittier. im the same way man, i take these kind of losses hard and i always turn to dope in a desperate attempt to avoid the pain.. it never works and in the end im always way worse off. its not worth it.

i wish i had some better advice.. but just try to hang in there man.
 
Listen man: I work in the child welfare field. You have to stop now for yourself first, only you can stop but Please realize that you will do incredible damage to your son if you continue to use and stick around and or disappear. Lets be real here man, she has a right to not want her (he is both of yours wether you like it or not) son being exposed to you in that state. It is not healthy for anything. Remember a child's brain is moldable and even if he will not consciously remember these moments it can still effect him.

I cannot really say shit because I am chemically dependent myself (only have 2 days totally clean). This time I am trying very hard to be open minded to try anything but to use right now. Take whatever help you can get. I hope you and I both do.
 
^ he doesn't have a son. The son is the ex's. Maybe a quick sub treatment would help, IDK. It's sucks,but time is really the best thing when it comes to getting over a breakup.
 
Emergency room. Seriously. You're not thinking clearly right now and the drugs are only making that worse. The drugs weren't your ally during the relationship and they're certainly not your friend right now. They're causing you to make bad choices.

Go get yourself checked in somewhere. NOW.
 
Just think why would dying be the solution to a girl who you love breaking up with you? That doesnt make sense yo. Get sober hell act sober buy her flowers call her if you want her back if not get over it, there are tons upon tons of girls that will love you just as much if not more. Go out now and meet them you can do it.
 
if you are physically healthy, then, imo, life is worth living.

emotional pain can be crippling - I KNOW - but getting over emotional pain stemming mostly from a tough break-up - while mega-challenging, it's definitely doable if you give it TIME.

i agree with the above posters who suggest you get off dope.

i would also suggest seeing a therapist - there are many good ones who work on a sliding scale, and who are generous enough to help those in true need.

there are so many wonderful things to enjoy in life.

now, you just need to take some time off to grieve and heal, so that THEN, you'll be in a position to start the next HAPPY chapter of your life.

*hug*
 
I have been through this before.. on sept 18/08.. my girlfriend of 2 years OD'd on fent laced skag.. i od'd too.. she didnt make it.. i was with her for 2 years.. she was the love of my life.. i got clean in feb of 2009.. and have been clean of heroin up until recently, when all this shit happened..
it is sooooo fucking unbearbly hard to quit.. i cant imagine being able to go through it again.. its so fuckin hard ot even think about..
i dont know if i have it in me, and im scared to think of what i might turn to as an alternative..
I appreciate the advice and im going to try and do some of that stuff.. ive checked myself into rehab, although im not sure if thats enough..
my life has been horrible since the day i was bron and it hasnt fucking gotten better since.. i dotn know what the fuck will happen.. and quite honetsly, im scared.. im scared shitles..
 
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i have been clean for almost 2 years.. i know its worth it.. but certain events have transpired that have made me reconsider that fact..
this is why im asking for help.. because ive done this before.. and look where i am.. im back shooting dope..
is this how the rest of my life is gonna be? every time i fail at somethin and am disappointed i relapse? ami that fucking weak??
that really makes a person look at themselves..
So i looked at myself, and i didnt like what i saw.. i dont know what to do.. i am literally hopelessly lost and scared.. like a fucking child.. im not proud.. but i want to find a way out.. i really do..
 
Hey man, breakups can be brutal. Deciding to go to rehab is definitely a great step to working through this, and shows that deep down you know your life is worth fixing up. Everything is temporary. Ups, downs, highs, lows, all of it. Unfortunately sometimes we need to deal with things that are pretty fucking unbearable, but in the end it turns out that these are the experiences that make us change the most.

Take care of yourself in whatever ways you can, things will begin to look up if you give yourself some time.
 
dude you have no idea man.. im in the same exact boat. i was clean for two and half years then two weeks ago i was hurt by a girl i really care about. i went on a dope binge for 5 days and here i am starting over with only 7 days clean now. so i totally relate to what youre saying man. it really blows, i know. but im gonna get through this and you are too lol. just gotta believe it i guess.
 
well, i hope i do.. but i think i need help outside BL.. Subs.. MMT.. whatever it takes.. i've been through both more than once however; mmt several times actually..
On the other hand, thanks for offering your words of wisdom; i sincerely appreciate it..
Im gonna try to get clean again.. i just got a chill up my spine as i said that in my head lol..
But fuck ami gonna try.. because i know that life can, infact, be good.. wish me luck..

And, on an unrelated note.. i just went an bought dimmu borgir tickets in november instead of spending that shit on skag.. is that a step forward?? in my book it is..
DIMMU FUCKING BORGIR!!
 
Don't make a permanent decision based on temporary feelings. You WILL get to feeling better. In the mean time, clean yourself up man. You're your number one priority (at least you should be) and you need to get yourself back in good shape.

Anyway, I've been in a similar situation except I was with this man for two years. We broke up and my best friend was pregnant with his baby about six weeks later. I was devastated for about six months. I mean I could barely get myself out of bed and I was so hurt that I almost couldn't function. I took time off of school, quit my job, and wallowed in my self-pity and anger which accomplished absolutely nothing. Once I finally got over everything, I realized that this guy was a piece of redneck, low-class trash and was never worth an iota of my time or feelings. I'm not insinuating this girl is but it is kinda trashy of her to get knocked up like that. However, it's also horrendous that you would use drugs around a three year old. There's never any justification for this, never.

I'm not here to bash you though so I want to reiterate that you WILL get to feeling better, I promise. You need to focus on getting yourself out of bed every morning and doing something with your life instead of sitting at home getting fucked up. I know it's easier said than done and it feels like nothing will ever improve but anyone who has been there and ended up bettering themselves and becoming happier can tell you that it all comes down to the way you approach life and the decisions you make. You can decide to sit around feeling sorry for yourself or you can be proactive and get yourself help, it's up to you. Once again, don't kill yourself over this though because that's a permanent decision and this is only a temporary problem that can and will become resolved.
 
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