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Old fuckbuddy that i have feelings for

M

moonyham

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 15, 2007
Messages
2,809
So i use to have sex with this girl like, super regular. It was such a wierd relationship we had because it went backwards... we met through a mutual friend at a party, and then like a few days later i was out with said mutual friend and so was she, we went back to the friends and stayed in the spare bedroom together where we fucked.

I like it, she liked it, and we started to fuck all the time. Like, everyday multiple times. We eventually sort of developed this relationship where we werent supposed to fuck other people, and thats when i sort of backed off because at the time i had like a half dozen girls on the go and enjoyed fucking each and everyone of them. However, now that i stopped being a slut and im looking back i realize i actually really liked this girl far beyond the sex, and the thing is she wanted me to be her bf, in her own words. I wanted her to be my GF but i couldnt let go of my freedom to fuck, i also was semi-homeless as in, living in occupy/couch surfing, so my life didnt really have room for a full time GF.

The thing is though, my life is alot more normal and has routine now, i have a regular job, i have a bed(got it yesterday! YAY!) and i dont drink or do any where near the amount of drugs i use to. I want a GF. I dont wanna sleep around anymore, and infact i dont. I kind of god put off that when i had sex with a stripper on her period not long ago(its bad).

So i got in contact with her and told her that i was stupid not to be her bf, that i want her now, that i wasnt in a place to be in a committed relationship when we were fucking but that i am now and want her to be apart of my life. Pretty much in those words. However, she has a fiance now, as she got back with an old EX of hers. However shes expressed she isnt particularly happy/doesnt know if she is, and doesnt think she loves him anymore. She seems quite keen to ditch him for me, but i feel kind of bad, as you would. She says the only thing thats holding her back really is that she doesnt know if she can trust me not to fuck her over. I mean, i have no intention to fuck her over and i do want a relationship with her, but its proving that which is difficult. I dont know how to go about this!

Also, how much of a dick am i?
 
I have a belief that even if you and someone else are going to be fuck buddies that you shouldn't be sleeping around with other people. I wouldn't myself sleep with more than one person at a time for my own safety and the safety of the person I'm fuck buddies with. I'd make sure the potential fuck buddy is seemingly STD free (past histories and such and reading of facial expression to show honesty or lies) and make a pact that if either one of us wants to move on to another person to have sex with that we let the other person know.

Back on topic, don't fight for it. The more you fight, the more you put yourself out in the open as being an asshole. Give her the talk that you want to give, then back off. Make sure she isn't going to go back and forth between the fiance and you and make sure it's completely over before you get with her.

Other than that, there's not much else you can do without having a lot of potentially bad things happen.
 
well, it wasnt really fair of you going back to her and saying all those things to her knowing she has a fiance, which in my book at least counts for something. for her, its easy to be tempted by an old flame as opposed to the stable (and possibly dulled by time) relationship she already has, but then again, she said yes to the guy for a reason...
on the other hand, you might be hanging on too much to your past, and trying to get a girl the easy way, one you knew and liked, and not necessarily being in love with her. it feels like its a bit more convenient for you this way.

now, im not saying your feelings arent genuine. i hope they are. but think a bit before you insist around her, its a big responsability if you break up a potential life for her along another guy just because you want a gf.... im not trying to be mean here, im just saying. be careful, dont play with peoples feelings

best of luck! and congrats on the bed
 
I think you should look else where, she has a fiance. It means they want to get married. The most you were with her was a fuck buddy, not even regular bf.

But if shes willing to dump that guy for you, then great. IDK how much this girl loved you in the past, if it was a lot, she might actually do it.

But its a hard choce for her.
 
Simply_Live said:
I have a belief that even if you and someone else are going to be fuck buddies that you shouldn't be sleeping around with other people. I wouldn't myself sleep with more than one person at a time for my own safety and the safety of the person I'm fuck buddies with.
Click to expand...

This.
 
this happened to me except when she asked me out I said yes although we were practically an item when she made it clear that we can only fuck each other just not official.

My advice would be to leave it and find someone else, it's gonna suck but as someone else said, if she leaves him for you then she is likely to do the same to you. I would accept I fucked up and find someone else....

It's your call really, you can form a relationship at the expense of her fiancée and take the risk of her leaving you for a "better, newer model" or you can just move on...

Also regarding the fiancée situation you may feel bad for "stealing" her but in the end if she really doesn't love him etc then it's not really your fault, however it is a different story if you are pressuring her to leave him.
 
She knows how you feel, right? If so, the ball is in her court. It's up to her. IF she likes you more than her fiance, she will go for it. If not, you will move on.
When someone is in a relationship, you should not be too forward, like asking her out, that kinda thing. Once she knows how you feel, you've done what you can do.
 
Dude...just hang out with her, and keep dropping massive hints. If she really wants you - she will dump him & be with you. Hang out obviously doesn't mean fuck, and if she tries to fuck you, just say "dump him, and then we'll get down, aye?!"

you'll soon see if there's anything left, but familiar old feelings.
 
B1tO'RoughJack said:
Dude...just hang out with her, and keep dropping massive hints. If she really wants you - she will dump him & be with you. Hang out obviously doesn't mean fuck, and if she tries to fuck you, just say "dump him, and then we'll get down, aye?!"

you'll soon see if there's anything left, but familiar old feelings.
Click to expand...

They don't call you Rough Jack for nothin'.
 
OP you don't need to prove anything to anyone but yourself.

Just be honest with how you feel, and then cool it off a bit...she will make up her mind, and you will soon know if she's someone you should be investing time and energy an most importantly LOVE in.
 
The advice and comments in this thread are excellent. Thank you everyone. I still dont know what im going to do but i do feel alot better about it.

Answers etc:

=If she left me for a 'better newer model' then im OK with that because he would have to be pretty awesome.

=Yes she did really like me alot when we were together.

=Yes its more convenient for me to get a gf this way but thats not why, although it is an upside because i already know what im getting more or less.

=Yes i am just gonna leave it for a little while i dont wanna be too pushy. As said she knows how i feel.
 
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