Bupe Oh lawdy omg I need some support/help/suggestions with flu + bupe withdrawel

[darkwizard131]

Whaddup longtime member forgot my username and password though it'd been a while since I been here.

First of all if anyone has AIM names and wants to chat with me about going through withdrawal PM me your screen names.

Okay I been fooling around with suboxone for about 2-3 months on and off. Luckily before I'm too deep I'm already ready to get off.

I got hit with some kind of flu on tuesday, thought it was maybe a minor withdraw and took a lil line maybe .5-6mg but almost 3 hours later I was laying in a pool of my own shit and vomit soooo no doubt it was flu.

ANYWAYS, I developed a lil around 1mg a day habit and along with the flu have quit cold turkey. Its been a hell of a past few days but I'm alive

Okay so I'm just starting day 4 of the w/d's and I still haven't slept but a few hours total, and my psychological aspects of this are just fucked. I can't sleep because of weird delusions in my head that I'm supposed to be somewhere or doing something even though I'm between jobs right now and I'm just chilling at my moms (just turned 24 btw). I watch tv and stress over it and then when I try to sleep my mind goes haywire and even puts myself in similar situations as the television show I just got done watching which is really stressful. And watching awesome shit doesn't help either.

Just yesterday was the first I could keep down food but its really hard too. I vomited and shit so much the first days I'm empty and I haven't shit in 2 days. Just today do I have the stomach to start really chugging some pedialyte and trying to rehydrate well.

QUESTION 1: I had never taken aleve but like a dumbass I thought it was 2 every 6 hours like all the other ones and I did that for almost 2 days, little did I know it was 2 or 3 every 24 hrs. That was just another factor I had to throw in about how I'm feeling. I haven't really taken any since I found out but I can't tell if thats adding to my stomach discomfort. What do you think about this thing I'll end up with some ulcers at worst? Should I take 1 more since its been 24 hours since the last ones?

OKay to the suggestions, I feel like I'm dying what do I do? My mom still has no clue its not beyond the regular flu but she keeps says I should be getting better soon. And I mean I am feeling better from the actual flu I had but I'll be damned if my w/ds aren't here in almost full effect.

This is just typed really fast so I know its sloppy but yeah much apreesh with any advice I love you guys and you stay strong bruddas who are also trying to detox.

 

[clementines_ghost]

my mind goes haywire and even puts myself in similar situations as the television show I just got done watching which is really stressful.

This. Oh man, doesn't it suck? Of course, I had to spend the first couple weeks of oxy w/d watching punk rock documentaries and various other squalid shit and then I would spend the night, 8-10 solid hours, in horrible similar situations (went to see 127 hours, spent that night caught in a canyon, selling heroin, and I've never even SEEN heroin) that just went on and on and even if whatever I had watched/read wasn't about drugs, my mind would insert illicit drugs into the situation and all fucking night I would toss and turn and sweat through pj's and sheets...I've tried to change it around and watch some milquetoast shit before bed lately but it's so boring, my mind just creates its own drama anyway.

All I can offer is that it is getting better in tiny increments, the night terrors, etc. Now, I generally only have to change clothes once per night, whereas even a week ago it was 4x/night minimum. I have had some good dreams interspersed with the bad, just in the last couple of nights (I'm at like 22 days now, so yeah, it's a fucking LONG ROAD), but last night was a bad one again, with lots of drugs and violence and guilt/regret dreams (even a dead baby covered in moss, looking at me accusingly; it's that bad), etc. I'm trying to remain philosophical and believe that my subconscious is dealing with the fact that I essentially went down the rabbit hole 3 years ago and didn't come up for air until a few weeks ago. In those three years, I lost several family members and beloved pets, whom I have not properly grieved.

So, my best advice is just keeping putting one foot in front of the other. It's a grim, boring, sometimes-hopeless-feeling march forward toward the light, but I have to believe it's worth it to live -- however long -- with authenticity.