zackseamus
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2014
- Messages
- 1
Hello friends. Latelly, many things have been happenning. One of them is that I don't feel the desire that I used to feel to masturbate anymore. I remember when I was younger (I am 25), I used to be very horny. Just thinking about sex had me hard and etc. I used to watch porn and get very aroused. But now, I am not like that anymore. I do watch porn oftenly, but I am just like "Meh...". And this has been happenning for an year or more.
When I touch myself using only my imagination, I notice that I get more pleasure than when I am watching porn. Weird, right? Porn feels to me just like an addiction. You don't really want to do that, but you do it anyway. I think it might be just like smoking cigaretes or using drugs. And in the end you end up feeling awful for doing it, specially without any desire. Maybe that is why it is called an addiction.
Anyway, I was also dyagnosed with Purely Obsessive OCD two years ago. My mind keep flashing evil or disgusting images and scenes without my conscent. I am taking many meds (antidepressants, etc), and I noticed they drastically lower the libido. I only want to touch myself once in 3 or 4 days now. But as I stated above, porn is like an addiction, and I end up "forcing" myself to masturbate almost daily, and I don't even feel that good about it.
I have tried to stay away from masturbation and only do it when I genuinelly crave it, and it felt awesome. But then I fail and go back to the old routinne of masturbating daily for the sake of doing it.
And besides that, during the masturbation period, bad things keep flashing in my mind (probably due to the OCD) like me doing sex with my mom, or raping a child. And this is a total turn off for me. And then it all becomes a mental struggle. I know it is normal for those things to happen, but not in the degree they happen to me. Everything is too realistic, as if I was living it, and my mind can't understand that they are just thoughts.
I am seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist, but sometimes they don't offer too much help.
Anyway, I am here seeking for help. Any advices or word of comfort, please? Anyone in a similar situation?
When I touch myself using only my imagination, I notice that I get more pleasure than when I am watching porn. Weird, right? Porn feels to me just like an addiction. You don't really want to do that, but you do it anyway. I think it might be just like smoking cigaretes or using drugs. And in the end you end up feeling awful for doing it, specially without any desire. Maybe that is why it is called an addiction.
Anyway, I was also dyagnosed with Purely Obsessive OCD two years ago. My mind keep flashing evil or disgusting images and scenes without my conscent. I am taking many meds (antidepressants, etc), and I noticed they drastically lower the libido. I only want to touch myself once in 3 or 4 days now. But as I stated above, porn is like an addiction, and I end up "forcing" myself to masturbate almost daily, and I don't even feel that good about it.
I have tried to stay away from masturbation and only do it when I genuinelly crave it, and it felt awesome. But then I fail and go back to the old routinne of masturbating daily for the sake of doing it.
And besides that, during the masturbation period, bad things keep flashing in my mind (probably due to the OCD) like me doing sex with my mom, or raping a child. And this is a total turn off for me. And then it all becomes a mental struggle. I know it is normal for those things to happen, but not in the degree they happen to me. Everything is too realistic, as if I was living it, and my mind can't understand that they are just thoughts.
I am seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist, but sometimes they don't offer too much help.
Anyway, I am here seeking for help. Any advices or word of comfort, please? Anyone in a similar situation?
