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Occasional lies for no reason

  • Thread starter Thread starter Pawn Shop
  • Start date Start date
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Pawn Shop

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For some reason I do this. I'm not a big liar at all, in fact sometimes I'm overly honest. But when it comes to my parents I tell lies for the silliest reasons, sometimes none at all. Like yesterday I met this really cool kid and we decided to hang out after school, except I told my mom I was hanging out with one of my other friends. Well she basically tripped me up on my lie and I got caught, so I just decided to tell the truth that I was with someone else just to not waste time. I don't know why I lied, honestly even though I have a girlfriend I found this guy pretty emotionally interesting too, and my parents don't really know I'm bi so I'd rather have just kept him a secret in general (don't think that he's bi though), but now I realized that I just basically had no reason to lie, but the damage is done. I'm always afraid if I tell the truth about where I'm going to be that they won't let me go, so I just revert to something that I basically know for a fact they'll let me do. But I hate lying, and I don't want to be a liar or justify this. I just want to know what to do with this situation and how to basically avoid things like this from happening again.
 
I also do this. however, I can't tell you if we are just both fucked up in the head, or if we are both normal. We need another vote on this.
 
Pawn Shop said:
I'm always afraid if I tell the truth about where I'm going to be that they won't let me go, so I just revert to something that I basically know for a fact they'll let me do. But I hate lying, and I don't want to be a liar or justify this. I just want to know what to do with this situation and how to basically avoid things like this from happening again.
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sounds like you need to start standing up for yourself more.

how old are you? assuming you still live at home, you're going to have to accept that you're living in your parents' house and, therefore, you need to adhere to some of the rules they lay down. however, as you get older, you need to explain to them that you need some space and a simple manifestation of that is that you're going to nee to stay out later and, perhaps, more often that you used to when you were younger. if it's a dealbreaker, you need to start making a plan to move out.

alasdair
 
I started lying over the smallest irrelvant things because it was kinda funny and it helped convos flow.
Now I find it hard to stop.
 
LOL I used to do this a lot because it feels natural and you get a sort of rush from it (when it works!), but yeah, eventually your luck runs out and you look like an ass. My strategy is to hang out with people who don't care/won't judge, so I have no incentive to lie in the first place. If you aren't sure what to say next, don't just start talking to fill the conversation...wait for them to talk or interrupt with a funny noise (sounds dumb but its neat actually). If you're clever, make a clever joke. This is pretty poor advice, I realize, but it may help. When I run out of things to say, that's usually my cue to find another topic or direct my friend's attention to the old man shoplifting braziers...
 
i agree - it's good practice.

however, lying all the time can get you in the habit of belieiving that people believe you. also, you give a sign when you tell a lie - people can read that you don't believe yourself. an old man kicked that to me shortly before he passed away - an old con artist/hustler.

also watch yourself - when you've had enough practice, dont keep going because it will make your technique stale and you'll come across as an ignorant but overly cocky liar - and then you lose any advantage you have with the people you're trying to gain ground on in the first place, permanently.

when your technique is refined, strike with the lies like a cobra.
 
if you visualise the "storey" in your head, then just tell yourself that visual is a memory, then recall that memory to others lol should be fail proof .
 
today I went to the grocery store to buy stuff for my parents. It's a very small place. They asked me if there was many people shopping there. I said no, it was just me and an old woman.
But the reality is, there was no "old woman" there. At the time I was the only one in the store.
I have no idea why I said that.

Funny thing is that, now that I think about it, a small part of me BELIEVES that there was actually an old woman there. Yikes.
 
I do it every once in a while for shits and giggles. Just to say ridiculous stuff. Mainly to people that I'll never see again.

Or a few days ago I was at a festival and I saw a friend going around trying to get people to register to vote. She told me she got into the festival for free the next day no matter what but since she was having a hard time getting signatures I just started telling people she needed 100 and she only had 50 and she really wanted to see this band tomorrow. Stuff like that.
 
I think its a good idea to know how to stay safe.
For example, you might know someone thats got a lawyer on retainer. Or, some peer advocate that will sit kids down and get a rapport going with them about the real job of patrol officers vs. detectives or have a higher functioning kid develop a narrative about how a Detective put pressure on him one time.

My advice is coming from my Church and it is to K.I.S.S. "Keep it simple stupid" when dealing with the Police.
It was a presentation put on by an active off-duty Police women who engrossed the few of us listening. She told us about in house socio politics Officers on the force had to develop ( like sensitivity training ) and all the random people they had to deal with. It made no sense, they're always going to be people committing crimes. People that might not always understand that they are committing crimes. She said she herself liked to get drunk at bars and then drive home without ever getting caught ( someone on BL said that this is very common, to never get caught drunk driving ). She never said how she did it. She said that she was mostly worried about us doing things we weren't meant to do and the predators ( who where lowlife Detectives and such) we might have to deal with ourselves. They in exchange for "doing the right thing" might validate you for maybe having normal spiritual adult abilities. They even supposedly wanted to be your friend.

The bitch from my church went on that it wasnt right to have an attitude that it was wrong to not be able to communicate effectively in a situation. Especially one that could potentially cost your family money and land you in Prison. Where it is not nice. Corrections do nothing for your spiritual development.

And if your pussy ass church, group or organization, school etc is'nt developing your mind to be able to make small talk sometimes and being comfortable with it, then you need to find new friends.
 
squarerootof23 said:
If someone wants to know something that they are not entitled to know, then refuse to answer. But don't lie.
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I agree with this 100%, but unfortunately most people in my experience are much happier to hear anything you will tell them, than to be denied an answer all together. But, then again, there is a little truth in every lie provided you know where to look. When someone starts to put small pieces into collaboration, before long they know if someone is being dishonest with them or not.
 
squarerootof23 said:
Obviously there are exceptions: If a murderer demanded that you tell him where your family is, by virtue of his evil intent to use that information to cause serious harm, he has forfeited his right to know the truth. But, that's not what you're talking about here.
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when did "telling the truth" become synonymous with "telling everybody, everything, all the time"?

if a murderer asks you where your family are. you can say "i'm not telling you because i fear you will kill them" and you're still telling the truth...

alasdair
 
squarerootof23 said:
Do not lie.

People have minds. Minds are to be used to accomlish good things. But, minds need information to work correctly. More specifically, accurate information.
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Yes. Thank you! Finally someone speaks the truth. LOL.


squarerootof23 said:
Here's what I was thinking about - and what I'd do in that situation, if I thought it would work. If my family were hiding in the basement, I would lie to the murderer and tell him that they're at such and such an address, and if he hurries he'll find them there right now. (And for good measure, the address I'd give him is that of the police department.) And I wouldn't see any problem with having told that lie.
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:D
 
I don't understand this habit.. I mean, when I was younger I'd lie to my parents too, to get my way and all that. But now I can't even fathom the reasoning behind lying. If it's something you feel you need to lie about, why are you even doing it in the first place? I think that's a great test to see if you're really comfortable with yourself or others or your actions. If you've gotta lie, something is amiss.
 
Lie all you want but by consciously doing so you have forfeited your right to be upset when you find out someone is lying to you.
 
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