Not sure how things got like this..

[TheArtOfBeingNon]

Hey all, long time lurker, first time poster.

When I got into the drug scene, I loved it. I guess everyone here did. I made so many new friends so quickly, friends which I considered the best I'd ever had, and it all seemed to just fill this void in my life. We'd go out and have these massive nights in clubs.. dancing, talking utter shit, cuddling and telling each other how much we loved each other.. you all know how it is, then all go back to someone's house and smoke pot and watch things and just talk until we'd all past out. It'd happen once a month or so I guess, and we just had the best times which I'm sure that I'll fondly remember for the rest of my life. I can't put it into words how good it was back then.

Fast forward two years, and I don't like it anymore. It's not just a pill or two a month and smoking pot anymore, it's whatever is available and it's a lot more often. I feel like crap all the time, and I don't know what to do. A part of me wants to get out of it, and then the other half takes over the moment there are drugs on offer and I forget I want out until I'm regretting it the next day. I really don't know what to do, all my friends are drug users and I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing them anymore, but it's like drugs are the only excuse we ever use to get together. Also this girl I have a bit of a thing for is a drug user too, and the only time I see her is when drugs are around. My last girlfriend was into drugs and I told myself when we broke up that I'd never go for a druggie girl again, but I guess that's just more proof that I don't learn from my mistakes.

I'm starting to notice it taking it's tole on me, too. My memory has gone to shit, my hands are constantly shacking, I sometimes get this weird pain around my heart (but I'm a bit of a hypochondriac so it could be my imagination), my bedroom walls (blue) get this weird static over them, I see brightly coloured stars floating around the shower, when I start to tune out a bit sometimes everything sort of goes in and out of focus.. like it's moving back and forth (almost like walls breathing on acid), I'm paranoid a lot and I've recently started having these anxiety attacks that just come out of nowhere (even when I'm sober) where my heart will start beating really hard, I get confused and things go blurry. They're really not comfortable at all.

Anyone else gone through something similar and have any sage-like advice to get me back on track? I wouldn't mind doing the odd pill here and there again, same with acid, because I hate the idea of never feeling those feelings again, but I'm worried that if I don't do something soon I could fuck myself over in the long term. I guess really I'm the only one who can help me, but writing all this out is probably a good thing.

Here is a list of the drugs that I've done if anyone can link any of them to the not-so-positive side effects I've been having..

Nos - once a month or so for the last four years.

Amyl - hardly ever.

Weed - a lot over the last four years, but usage differed a lot, also. Sometimes it'd be once or twice a month and then I'd go three months straight without not being stoned.

Ecstasy - longest I've gone without dropping over the last two years is three weeks, but I usually only have one or two pills in a night. Lately I've been worse with after-parties and more drugs.

Acid - About ten times over the last year.

Mushrooms - Three times this year.

Speed - Twice in the last year or so.

Meth - Once in the last six months.

2c-B, 2c-E, 2c-T-2 - A few times over the last six months.

Mephedrone - A few times over the last month (anxiety didn't start until I started using this..).

Codeine, Valium, Oxycodone, etc - A few times over the last year and a half or so, not something that I do often.


I realise that none of this is anywhere near as bad as what a lot of people on here have gone through, but I really would like some opinions on how I've been feeling and my drug use etc..

Thanks.

 

[TheArtOfBeingNon]

Also, I have a little MDPV in my drawer, never tried it.. thoughts??

 

[Coolio]

my bedroom walls (blue) get this weird static over them, I see brightly coloured stars floating around the shower, when I start to tune out a bit sometimes everything sort of goes in and out of focus.. like it's moving back and forth (almost like walls breathing on acid)

This is normal, according to many people. I know some people who say they've always seen shit like this happen to their visual perception, and others who only started getting these kind of visuals after they first used psychedelics. I have had this kind of mild HPPD since the first or second time I tripped. People who haven't tripped will sometimes also describe similar visuals, if you figure out how to properly question them about it.

Here is a list of the drugs that I've done if anyone can link any of them to the not-so-positive side effects I've been having..

Nos - once a month or so for the last four years.

Do you take Vitamin B12 every time you use nitrous? If not, you should. I would cut out nitrous oxide use completely if I were you, as it could produce some of your symptoms if combined with polydrug abuse.

Amyl - hardly ever.

Don't touch this stuff if you're concerned about your health. It's horrible for your immune system at best.

Weed - a lot over the last four years, but usage differed a lot, also. Sometimes it'd be once or twice a month and then I'd go three months straight without not being stoned.

I would cut out the weed if you suffer from anxiety and the weed isn't acting as a cure. There were points in my life where any time I would smoke weed, I would get severe anxiety, and often delusional or psychotic episodes.

Ecstasy - longest I've gone without dropping over the last two years is three weeks, but I usually only have one or two pills in a night. Lately I've been worse with after-parties and more drugs.

This is definitely bad for you. What do you take for supplements to pre-load and post-load a roll? At the very least you be taking high dose Vitamins C & E, or r-alpha lipoic acid. What do you do when you take MDMA, get hot and sweaty dancing indoors? The higher your body temperature, the more neurotoxic MDMA is.

Acid - About ten times over the last year.

Mushrooms - Three times this year.

Speed - Twice in the last year or so.

Can't get too much of these. Harmless, unless you start experiencing psychiatric illness days after the drug wears off.

Meth - Once in the last six months.

Can't have negatively effected you from taking it just one time. This stuff isn't as bad as MDMA or MDA.

2c-B, 2c-E, 2c-T-2 - A few times over the last six months.

As someone who has binged on large amounts of these, and tripped with a lot of people on them, and read everything on the Internet about them by now... I would say these are better than LSD or mushrooms to use recreationally. If I were you, I would try to lay off the ecstasy and switch to 2C-B and 2C-T-2, and combining them with LSD and mushrooms. 2C-B and 2C-T-2 have a nice antidepressant effect too.

You'll end up using drugs a whole lot less this way, as taking psychedelic trips isn't something you usually want to do as regularly as you seem to do ecstasy.

Mephedrone - A few times over the last month (anxiety didn't start until I started using this..).

Stay away! This stuff has caused some serious side effects in many people. It seems harmless in moderation for most people, but some people are sensitive to it. That, and it's hard not to take multiple doses and accumulate the stuff and its metabolites.

Codeine, Valium, Oxycodone, etc - A few times over the last year and a half or so, not something that I do often.

No big deal

 

[Coolio]

Also, I have a little MDPV in my drawer, never tried it.. thoughts??

MDPV is comparable to cocaine. It isn't going to be good for you right now, wait until you're feeling better.

 

[stimutant]

take a break, at least a year.

and dont touch mdpv in your situation. (youre having anxiety-related problems, so its best to stay away from ALL stimulants (including caffeine) for some time.)
would be nice if you could write your experiences with anxiety & mephedrone in the meph-threads here, too.

best wishes,
brbg

 

[paranoid android]

You sound like me in my teens and early 20's. I had loads of "friends" and all we would do was take drugs and drink. I was mostly into shrooms and weed at first but then i got into alcohol big time and well thats when the shit hit the fan. Well when i was 21 anyway and it fucked me up for years after.

It sucks when the only reason you have to be around people is to get trashed. I was like this for years. It was mostly alcohol (my DOC at the time) but we would meet up everyday just to figure out wtf we could get high on.

Finally i got so sick of alcohol that i just lost all these friends. To this day ive maybe talked to either of them twice and this was 6 years ago. What have we to talk about? We have nothing in common except the fact we where wasters. So even taking drugs while they are drinking is not enough to get me to hang around with them.

I still look back on those times and i certainly don't regret them. I had a hell of a time i couldnt have had any other way so i have no regrets. But i had to chuck it in or i knew i wouldnt live to see 30. Maybe youve hit that same wall now too? Where the after affects outweight the effects of the drugs you took the night before.

As for doing the drugs you described occasionally i don't see anything wrong with it. Just make it a very occasional thing.

 

[jackie jones]

It is not all or nothing, man. When you take drugs as often as possible, it no longer is recreational. On the other side, experienceing the same state of consciousness (sobriety) constantly is boring (imo).

Weed out the nonsensical drugs such as methamphetamine, mephedrone, MDMA, and nitrous oxide.

Eat healthy and excercise. Try to combat the stress inflicted on your system through healthy living.

 

[dilated_pupils]

It's really sad I see the same thing happening with a lot of my friends, actually all of them. I live outside of Philly so you'd think there would be a lot to do, but in fact my town just sucks and so does the surrounding towns. The only time I hang out with a bunch of people is when we do drugs or drink alcohol which is really really sad... I do have some best friends I can hang out with and just chill, but we still end up drinking or smoking weed at the least. It seems when you surround yourself with drug users you tend to just have a drug induced friendship basically. I mean think about it, if you didn't do the drugs you do with your friends, and they stopped taking them as well, what would you all be doing? Probably nothing other than watching tv/movies or going out to do the movies.

You need to find some healthy recreational hobbies, such as going to the gym, playing sports, or anything that just keeps you active and away from being bored. Boredom plays a big role in what you end up doing with yourself on your free time, because drugs are available and there's nothing else to do you end up choosing to do the drugs to pass the time.

Just remember time is precious, wasting it all on drugs is not the answer to any problem.

-dp

 

[RollsRoyce5950]

I know exactly what your talking about

I was using ecstasy daily or almost every day with my biggest break being one week for about 6 months. I quit one month ago and havnt touched it once.

Now every day I have pains in my chest and i'm heavily aware of my heart rate. im constantly questioning myself "is it beating too fast?... did it skip a beat?..." and every now and then, even when I'm not thinking about it I feel like a cant breath or like my heart and lungs quit working. I want to say its anxiety but what makes me worried is that even when everything is fine I lose control of my breathing. For instance An hour ago I was spinning a mix on my turntables and I lost control of my breathing and had to step away holding my heart making sure eveything was fine.

I've gone to the doctors and they tell me everything is fine, ive even had chest xrays and they didnt notice anything.

I dont know whats wrong and I wanted to know if ecstasy is to blame? is this long term? this never happened up until a month ago when I want to the ER. I was experiencing shortness of breathing and a heavily increased heart rate. Ever since then I havnt touched ecstasy once. The only reason I question if its anxiety or not, is because sometimes i lose control of my breathing completely out of nowhere

Please help.

 

[Blackhawktown]

Man honostley I can relate i grew up when i was 14-20 with those drugs around all day my best friends being the dealers so it was all free. Thing was I never really touched it? I mean I did never got too wild. Wierd righ?t I get into college and do acid a few times beans, the mints in chicago if anybody knows.. those things are unbelievaable.

Now I'm addicted to pain killers but am just about off, and will stay off man its Mind over Matter. If you can't stand not seeing those friends, which i can relate, it just plain sucks and thats the bullshit cards you got dealt.

Just take it a day at a time man a day at a time, last nite i was sittin up cryin in happiness almost becuause Im getting off the bullshit drug they call narcotics.
I wanna sue those bastards..My point tonight i sit here ya im wide awake at 330 am. But I know tommrow will be better. It's a new day ya know?

Try and think like me? I don't know it's working more than well for me ,I want off my meds faster than they will let me. Which is bullshit right?

 

[Chimeric]

I think the best solution is to just lay off the drugs. It's simple, but of course it's not easy.

Begin your search for non-drug things that cheer you up. Hobbies, new friends, books, movies, whatever.

haha... me? i got into exercise, not because i found it particularly enjoyable, but because of the natural high it produced afterwards. i think exercise is a good place to start because it teaches you that you can be "high" while sober. plus it's great for your health.