i understand what you are saying. i just disagree with it.
if people are genuinely suffering, need help and cannot, for some reason, get that help outside of this site, then they can post in the public forums and seek help that way. indeed, the audience will be larger and the likelihood of their receiving help - in this hypothetical situation of yours - is greater.
and if, for some reason that my simple brain can not comprehend, the help they need can only possibly happen privately, rather than in the public forum, they can always use one pm to ask somebody for their email address then continue the dialog over a regular email channel.
furthermore, if your pm box is full, you can (optionally) download your messages then delete your inox to make space. you have complete control over this and it can happen without anybody else being insulted or having to do anything for you. take a little responsibility for your own experience?
so, again, limiting the ability of new members to pm does not endanger people in any way.
on the https thing, as i said, the site is currently in the process of considering migrating the entire site to https but there are other factors to consider - not least the performance hit on the server.
bluelight is run entirely by volunteers and depends on donations for its funding. if you want to speed this along and not just sit on the sidelines criticising people, get your checkbook out. $10,000 should do for starters
alasdair