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Bluelighter
In what can only be described as a suicide attempt(now that I look back on it), I think I may have gone too far. Keep in mind I have learned a great deal from this experience and have no intentions of repeating it.
First, some background. I have done lots of hard drugs for year... err, wow, I can now say decades. From weed to coke, MDMA, heroin, PCP, there isn't much I haven't tried. My style has always stayed consistently "if a little is good, more=better".
So Adderall makes it's entrance in the form of 10mg XR. I did a little research before taking as prescribed and decided to crush three of them, and swallow. Not bad.
A few months later they are now 15mg. The latest binge had me railing two at a time, waiting about 45 minutes and having another. Halfass watching the clock I repeated this about every 3 hours, looking for something that was nowhere to be found. The rush. But that never stopped me from trying in the past, so I just kept going until it was maybe 12 or so hrs later and I had gone through 13 of them, 195mg by my math. Knowing it was pointless and probably dangerous I stopped, let them chill for several hours and slept maybe 4 or 5 hours. I'll also add that I was not drinking any water(something else I learned to DO from now on) the whole time.
When I woke up I was extremely weak. I hadn't eaten in well over a day and knew I had to get some nutrients in me, NOW. Went to the kitchen to see what I could do, started getting real light headed and had to abort the mission to return to the horizontal position. I was sweating profusely this whole time. Laid there for a minute and made another attempt at getting food in me. I remember being in the kitchen and preparing something to eat, and the next thing I remember was opening my eyes and staring at the ceiling. Having never seen my ceiling from that angle, I thought to myself.. where the hell am I? Got up, went back to the bed and almost fell down before I got there.
This is when it got serious... My forearms started literally vibrating, and then my legs. Shortly after that I began to hear a sound like wind in my ears. This got my attention, in the way that I really thought I was about to die, but it eventually subsided. When I started feeling better I noticed my chin was in pain. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror to see that it had been busted open, obviously in the kitchen fall, but I had no recollection of it. I began to look back at what I had done and why it had done that, along with trying to figure out if my more=better philosophy needs a re-evaluation.
That was going on three weeks ago.
Here on BL I've been taking notes on dosages, and realize that 195mg was probably excessive. So could someone tell me what exactly I did to myself there and the ramifications of an overly extreme dose? I'm sure the kidneys got a workout like no other, and much more I'm not aware of.
First, some background. I have done lots of hard drugs for year... err, wow, I can now say decades. From weed to coke, MDMA, heroin, PCP, there isn't much I haven't tried. My style has always stayed consistently "if a little is good, more=better".
So Adderall makes it's entrance in the form of 10mg XR. I did a little research before taking as prescribed and decided to crush three of them, and swallow. Not bad.
A few months later they are now 15mg. The latest binge had me railing two at a time, waiting about 45 minutes and having another. Halfass watching the clock I repeated this about every 3 hours, looking for something that was nowhere to be found. The rush. But that never stopped me from trying in the past, so I just kept going until it was maybe 12 or so hrs later and I had gone through 13 of them, 195mg by my math. Knowing it was pointless and probably dangerous I stopped, let them chill for several hours and slept maybe 4 or 5 hours. I'll also add that I was not drinking any water(something else I learned to DO from now on) the whole time.
When I woke up I was extremely weak. I hadn't eaten in well over a day and knew I had to get some nutrients in me, NOW. Went to the kitchen to see what I could do, started getting real light headed and had to abort the mission to return to the horizontal position. I was sweating profusely this whole time. Laid there for a minute and made another attempt at getting food in me. I remember being in the kitchen and preparing something to eat, and the next thing I remember was opening my eyes and staring at the ceiling. Having never seen my ceiling from that angle, I thought to myself.. where the hell am I? Got up, went back to the bed and almost fell down before I got there.
This is when it got serious... My forearms started literally vibrating, and then my legs. Shortly after that I began to hear a sound like wind in my ears. This got my attention, in the way that I really thought I was about to die, but it eventually subsided. When I started feeling better I noticed my chin was in pain. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror to see that it had been busted open, obviously in the kitchen fall, but I had no recollection of it. I began to look back at what I had done and why it had done that, along with trying to figure out if my more=better philosophy needs a re-evaluation.
That was going on three weeks ago.
Here on BL I've been taking notes on dosages, and realize that 195mg was probably excessive. So could someone tell me what exactly I did to myself there and the ramifications of an overly extreme dose? I'm sure the kidneys got a workout like no other, and much more I'm not aware of.
