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  • NMI Moderators: Coffeeshroom

New member AGAIN!!!!

Hi Hunter.

Welcome to the site. There are probably people on here who are familiar with the particular brand of hell you're going through. Perhaps check out the 'Dark Side' forums.

Hope things get better for you soon.
 
After a decade I’m still addicted for medical reasons beyond my control. I’m drinking harder now as well. In fact my son died in August from alcohol pancreatitis. I keep thinking I’ll be able to wean myself off the Oxy but 10 years later…… same story. It should have been me, not him.
 
And who can you talk to that could possibly understand except others that have been down the path. They don’t get it, and I understand. It’s a lonely life when the drugs rule your world. But I know others have it worse.
 
You will find undestanding i promise on Bluelight, many here have traveled through,
or are in the dark crofts of live.

Tomorrow is day one of Dia de Los Muertos,
they then honour/ celebrate and remember the deceased kids.
As one truelly dies when not remembered, that afik but imo how it should be,
the day after i do the same for deceased grown ups i loved.

Lost my kids, though not to death. But to my ex, breking my heart.
So Troublesome souls enough.
Being one of em.

So greeting HunterSS69, wlecome on board.
 
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Man, losing a child is devastating, I can only imagine... Since my kids are luckily still alive. You might look for someone with a similar experience but if you just want to talk my dm is always open.
 
I’m glad I came back here. You guys are like family to me. You don’t judge but you will call people out for their bullshit. I’m trying so hard guys. I know my son’s death is no excuse and I’m not ever going to put that on him. It’s a good day because I have all my meds. But that won’t last long. I’ll take all I can , leaving just enough to get through withdrawals. At least that’s the normal plan. I hate watching my wife see me in the worst of it. Sweats, vomit, shaking, jerking…. You guys know the drill. I just can’t find a way out. Suicide isn’t an option for me. Sometimes venting like this helps . Just knowing that someone else feels your pain helps. I truly hate my addiction. Thank you all for just listening.
 
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