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New guy here

The money should be the least of your concern, man. You were doing so well. A little money wasted is nothing compared to the years and years wasted on addiction and the years you will continue to flush if you don't shake your addiction. Wouldn't you pay the cost of the bag of Kratom to be free from addiction? Of course the kratom made you feel better man, it's an opioid. People get confused about Kratom and think because it doesn't come from a poppy that it's not an opioid - it hits the same receptors, and it's just as much an opioid as subutex is. Get rid of it man, you don't need this. Tough out the withdrawals and then work on yourself to free yourself from this. You're 23, I'm 25 - we still have relative youth on our side, but if we keep this up we'll find ourselves waking up one day with decades & decades gone, and know we have wasted our youth on this shit. Does that thought not terrify you? It scares the shit out of me!

Stay strong man. Get rid of the Kratom, please!
 
Wanted to update you before I go floating this morning. Rio fantastic you right and this bag was not worth. My parents are currently running to the farmers market and while they were gone I officially got rid of it. I tried flushing most but it didn't go down easily had to flush several times as it was sticking to the walls of the kamode. So I took the rest out side and just scattered them out like ashes as a final farewell to that bulls***. Not worth the nights sleep I got after only doing it once. Prolly slept 4 hrs last night. Anyways guys bout to head to the river to float. I still continue to appreciate you guys.
 
Have fun on the river float! Doing something so fun should be a great distraction for you...not to mention, getting some sun is a natural way to feel great!

I'm glad dumping the kratom made you feel better, but don't let others pressure you into your quit methods. Kratom can really help for the first few days of wd...and, even though YES it is an opiate and works on the same receptors as your former doc and subs, it's far weaker than subs or something like oxycodone. It will help relieve some symptoms, but won't make you feel 100% by any means if you have any decent kind of tolerance and will still help you during the quit process. It can drag it out, sure, but it can make everything not so severe while it does. But, it's gone now so I guess I'm wasting my breath (er finger strength? lol).

Try some immodium if you haven't. It's a miracle wd drug I wish I would've actually tried sooner..I dismissed reports that it helped for years only to discover how well it works. It's also an opiate (and DOES cross the blood brain barrier, contrary to popular belief, but gets pushed back out so fast that you don't feel the traditional opiate effects from it). Some people recommend crazy high doses of it, but I always found relief from only a little more than the prescribed amount. It won't make everything all better, but it'll relieve a lot of physical symptoms (esp. diarrhea) and make everything more bearable. It has a crazy long half life though, so don't dose more than once every day or two...that's where people run into problems, they don't realize how long the stuff lasts and they dose multiple times a day causing a lot of it in their blood stream which can cause some negative side effects). My only advice is to only use this for a few days bc your body can become dependent on it as well..but not if you only use for a short time. I really recommend this. It helps so much.

Just a few tips. Good luck in your continuing sobriety! It's tough but you got this!
 
The hardest thing is still the intense cravings im still feeling. 10 days off of sub, idk if you can count 10 days clean, sinse i did the kratom, but its still hell for me. Its not that my withdrawals are bad anymore, i may get the occasional cold chills, or just be running a high body tempature and sweating but this is very occasional now. I feel my mind is in a panic, its frantically searching for anything but theirs nothing here. I know its best that i moved, but my body feels as its being tortured. I wish i could come at you with positivity. But its still hard at this point im at. If the cravings would ease, i would feel so much better. That is the only thing hurting me psychologically. I can deal with the physical part easily as this moment. I would have no chance out in my home state. Im 100% not in control of my addiction. I was gonna go to an NA Meeting tonight, just to try it out. But im scared at the same time of maybe getting screwed by going there. I know its supposed to be a safehaven to newcomers but thats not my experience with it. Yall keep it 100, ima peace out for now.
 
Are you worried you'll find somewhere to cop if you go to the meeting? Is that the worry?

Someone once told me that the only way I'd beat this addiction was if I went to rehab then moved far far away to a place where I knew NO ONE and forced myself to start over. That's what worked for this guy so he swears up and down its the only way that'll work for anyone..I told him, my social butterfly ass would meet a dope dealer within the first month...I can ALWAYS find a hookup, no matter where I go..because, well, I literally talk to EVERYONE. So, figured I'd save some money and just learn to control these urges at home.
 
Fhizzy said:
The hardest thing is still the intense cravings im still feeling. 10 days off of sub, idk if you can count 10 days clean, sinse i did the kratom, but its still hell for me. Its not that my withdrawals are bad anymore, i may get the occasional cold chills, or just be running a high body tempature and sweating but this is very occasional now. I feel my mind is in a panic, its frantically searching for anything but theirs nothing here. I know its best that i moved, but my body feels as its being tortured. I wish i could come at you with positivity. But its still hard at this point im at. If the cravings would ease, i would feel so much better. That is the only thing hurting me psychologically. I can deal with the physical part easily as this moment. I would have no chance out in my home state. Im 100% not in control of my addiction. I was gonna go to an NA Meeting tonight, just to try it out. But im scared at the same time of maybe getting screwed by going there. I know its supposed to be a safehaven to newcomers but thats not my experience with it. Yall keep it 100, ima peace out for now.
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I have had the same problem as you.I think the detox is a fucker but it's the easy part.I have relapsed a few times but it puts you back.the craving are a cunt at first but they do ease.Just fight these cravings and find a hobbie.I still bored as fuck and every night I have to fight the cravings.When you feel weak go on this site.Hang in there mate you done the detox now fight your cravings you will feel better and the cravings will ease.
 
Thinkng of you Fhiz and I hope you're doing well today? I'm very proud of you!!!

Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.
 
Hi Phizzy-

I'm sending you a huge hug. Cravings are a mfr. I was talking to a good friend of my mine from BL about just this topic.

When you tell someone that either doesn't understand, or has forgotten you have cravings, it sounds like no big deal. It really can be overwhelming having cravings. I feel your pain deeply.

Having a plan in place for cravings before they happen and actually executing that plan is not an easy task!! I have broke down and cried -many times- while having cravings. I still do.

That said, you have to figure out a recovery plan that personally works for you. Don't worry about pleasing anyone else. We all know how not affective that turns out- no matter how much we love and care for someone.

Somtimes recovery includes maintenance meds. It's different for every individual.

Recovery always includes getting mental and emotional health in order. That may seem obvious. But it wasn't to me. I had to get my anxiety issues at least manageable for me to even have a fighting chance at recovery.

Whatever your plan includes- I hope you have peace of mind. ❤️
 
Hey guys thought I'd update you just a bit. The cravings have diminished to an extent. Sometimes I do get them bad but less frequent. I believe it's been a little over a month but I try not to keep track as it seems to make time drag. Still have yet to meet any friends in Kentucky but I'm still not working. I do have a hobby as silly as it may be I spend many hours a day playing world of Warcraft. The new expansion recently released. So it has been a great way to get my mind off of things and do something I enjoy. I have an extremely addictive personality so I think it went from drugs to playing video games. I did drugs in excess and I prolly play on my computer in excess to but that's just who I am. Anyway I'm going to keep with the sobriety and see where it leads me. And start working sometime in the near future too. Thank you guys for the support. I love you all. Sorry for going quite for a while.
 
Congrats on a month+, sobriety!!! Wow ,another southern person I see . If the video games is your hobby ,then by all means carry on . All humans have hobbies and there is nothing wrong with a little indulgence occasionally. The game play will probably help your dopamine come online faster also.
 
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