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Mental Health New Anxiety & Sleep Issues

S

Somanyoops

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 30, 2014
Messages
15
Looking for input, advice, support, feedback. Anything. I'm on my last rope here.

Cliffs;
-2 year opiate use (HIGH doses)

-Alot of stress although real good at ignoring it usually. NEVER have had anxiety, didn't even understand it.

-Recently, even while on opiate, start getting crushing anxiety at night. IMPOSSIBLE to sleep more than 2-3 hours. I'll fall asleep for 2 hours, and suddenly wakeup, SHOOT out of bed and just pace around

-No idea wtf is going on or how to get passed it. Sometimes it is so bad I have to leave my house just to get air because its like a trap or something. Impossible to explain...Sometimes if I'm watching a movie I have to turn it off and put on tv because i need commericals to feel connected to world, I wakeup and feel extremely isolated and scared of being completely forgotten.


I'm going cold turkey tonight, will be sick by morning and I KNOW my anxiety will increase 100x by 24 hours from now so I'm really not looking forward to it. I am positive about being passed the detox. Can't wait to lift, focus my life on money saving and other things again. I'm just extremely worried about the anxiety never leaving because even while I'm on opiates I get this anxiety now. I used to just sleep like a ROCK, now it doesn't matter, I have had a straight night of sleep since it started 3 weeks ago. I sleep from 12-6am and wakeup at 6am like clockwork.

Sorry for wall of text. Thanks BlueLight, (First Post).
 
How long have you been planning a cold turkey? Did your anxiety manifest around the same time you started to contemplate quitting?

In my past experience, especially with opiates in particular, as soon as I know my run is coming to an end I'll begin to develop physical symptoms of withdrawals even while still on the opiate. The last dose, shot, line etc never comes without a certain level of anxiety, depression, irritability that manifests into physical symptoms like chills, restless legs, IBS.. The mind is very powerful. For example, you can be in full blown withdrawal going to cop and as soon as you get that drug in your hand you will begin to feel better even though it's not yet even in your system.

I'd bet your newfound anxiety corresponds somehow with your foreknowledge of the impending sickness that awaits.
 
pinpoint said:
How long have you been planning a cold turkey? Did your anxiety manifest around the same time you started to contemplate quitting?

In my past experience, especially with opiates in particular, as soon as I know my run is coming to an end I'll begin to develop physical symptoms of withdrawals even while still on the opiate. The last dose, shot, line etc never comes without a certain level of anxiety, depression, irritability that manifests into physical symptoms like chills, restless legs, IBS.. The mind is very powerful. For example, you can be in full blown withdrawal going to cop and as soon as you get that drug in your hand you will begin to feel better even though it's not yet even in your system.

I'd bet your newfound anxiety corresponds somehow with your foreknowledge of the impending sickness that awaits.
Click to expand...

I can relate to having it in my hand and feeling better. I go day to day for long periods of a time not knowing when I'll be out, sometimes I think I'm going to be out and magically I figure something out. I've never been sick while having something though. I'm in a load of debt and have been a closet user for as long as I started. I've been planning the CT for a while but ease of access and finding 2-3 days where I can be alone at home is hard so I rationalize it for myself.

Normally in the past even in similar situation I would sleep like a ROCK and looked forward to sleep no matter what stress, but now I still love sleep but it seems impossible to achieve. I haven't slept tonight yet, I laid down at 2am, and every time I would nod off I would shoot out of bed and pace around, heart and mind racing. Physically I feel exhausted, but I just can't seem to sleep and when I do sleep its terrible, wakeup often, light as a feather type sleep.
 
Hey there :)

What types of opiates were you using? Are you able to taper off what you're currently on now?

If you don't mind me asking, do you have any underlying mental health disorders (depression, OCD, etc)?

When I quit opiates, my anxiety went through the roof. Then I went on benzos and now I have a benzo habit I'm dealing with. Are you on any other meds?

The questions are just to help, sorry if I sound nosey!
 
Does the anxiety present itself with any other symptoms - namely the ones with associate with withdrawal? If not, the next obvious question is whether you've added anything new - be it diet, drugs, life events?
 
ad lib said:
Hey there :)

What types of opiates were you using? Are you able to taper off what you're currently on now?

If you don't mind me asking, do you have any underlying mental health disorders (depression, OCD, etc)?

When I quit opiates, my anxiety went through the roof. Then I went on benzos and now I have a benzo habit I'm dealing with. Are you on any other meds?

The questions are just to help, sorry if I sound nosey!
Click to expand...

H primarily. Haven't tapered but my dose has gotten relatively low. I don't use pins either. No other meds, I dislike benzos. No other health issues (that I know of, although I think Sleep Apnea may be creeping)


pinpoint said:
Does the anxiety present itself with any other symptoms - namely the ones with associate with withdrawal? If not, the next obvious question is whether you've added anything new - be it diet, drugs, life events?
Click to expand...

Life events I suppose you could say maybe a little more stress lol, otherwise nothing new, and no other symptoms. Just INSANE anxiety. Its kept me awake for up to 3 days before I finally pass out for 3 hours and shoot back up. Its illogical anxiety I guess, but I just want it to go away, its brutal and torturous.
 
Perhaps it is something physical going on. Are you make or female?

Some physical conditions that can cause anxiety are hormones/hormonal imbalances (i.e hyperthyroidism, PMS, hypoglycemia, pregnancy); and other physical ailments could include anemia, hypertension, tachycardia, etc. Also, you may be developing a sensitivity to the opiates which is now manifesting itself in the form of anxiety.
 
ad lib said:
Perhaps it is something physical going on. Are you make or female?

Some physical conditions that can cause anxiety are hormones/hormonal imbalances (i.e hyperthyroidism, PMS, hypoglycemia, pregnancy); and other physical ailments could include anemia, hypertension, tachycardia, etc. Also, you may be developing a sensitivity to the opiates which is now manifesting itself in the form of anxiety.
Click to expand...

I was considering this as my only logical reason. I've taken a 360 and my diet is completely garbage. Usually fast food and candy often, and I know my blood pressure is a bit high. I also don't have medical insurance so I've had a nasty tooth ache a few times. But I was assuming between my terrible diet, and all the life-stress going on it was a giant culmination of it all. I'm going to try to sleep now hopefully it works because I'm also starting to get (wds) sick.

I appreciate everyone's replies thus far. Bluelight has often been a place I lurk for support but glad I finally joined to be specific with my issues.
 
opioids are potent anxiolytics even though the paradox does exist. if you're feeling this anxious while on them i would suggest you start searching for an underlying issue as mentioned. you may just have extreme generalized anxiety and panic disorder, but as said, this is usually resolved with opioid use.

puzzling. good luck.
 
When you're dealing with PAWS which it sounds like you are unfortunately diet, exercise, and time are the only tools that truly work though I'd recommend stopping all opioid use if you can.

Don't get on benzos for more than 4 weeks otherwise you're fucked. I just went through clonazapem/valium withdrawal and it's one of those thing I'd easily characterize as a fate quite worse than death.


Good luck to you.
 
To update people who were curious. I left my house for a weekend for work and actually had great 12hrs of sleep for 3 days in a row. NO anxiety, NO wakeup. I think its from collectors calling my house, no work and shitty diet contributing on top of trying to figure out my opiate issues. Hopefully time will fix these things. I truly appreciate everyone's input.
 
That's good to hear! Do you think it was getting back to work that helped you work out the sleeplessness? Also are you tapering still?
 
T. Calderone said:
That's good to hear! Do you think it was getting back to work that helped you work out the sleeplessness? Also are you tapering still?
Click to expand...

I am tapering still. Down pretty low. only 2 doses a day, low as well. My challenge will become not spending this 1k paycheck I'm about to get.

To the anxiety point; I believe the combination of massive debts and hostile housing were enough for it I guess. When I go to work and get myself on a schedule I am occupying myself, but at night time at hotels I don't even remember I had anxiety. Slept well for a solid week at hotels, got back home after work and it started almost immediately. So I definetly attribute this to my house and the hostile environment I'm living in.
 
That hostile home environment will do it for sure. See how quickly your stress level went right back to where it was? Are you in a position to file bankruptcy? That would alleviate a big portion of it. Instead of spending that money on something you know you will regret, put it towards something useful and get your family/housemates off your ass.

Another suggestion I'm thinking would be trying to get on either methadone or suboxone if you are having trouble with H. If you are able to quit, that's great! Took me several tries and years to get it right. I'm not sure what your situation is drug-wise. But I remember having good intentions planning to pay bills but as soon as I got cash it went to that other place. I feel your pain. :(
 
T. Calderone said:
That hostile home environment will do it for sure. See how quickly your stress level went right back to where it was? Are you in a position to file bankruptcy? That would alleviate a big portion of it. Instead of spending that money on something you know you will regret, put it towards something useful and get your family/housemates off your ass.

Another suggestion I'm thinking would be trying to get on either methadone or suboxone if you are having trouble with H. If you are able to quit, that's great! Took me several tries and years to get it right. I'm not sure what your situation is drug-wise. But I remember having good intentions planning to pay bills but as soon as I got cash it went to that other place. I feel your pain. :(
Click to expand...


By massive debt, i mean like 1.5k lmao. Its just scattered liek 400$ here, 400$ there and the payments are all overdue so i get continous calls. its a pain in the ass, but a week or two of work instead of buying would solve mostly everything. And i know this, but its easier said than done, like you said good intentions but goes the wrong direction.
 
Hey there thought I'd chime in. I can totally empathise with your experience, to me it sounds like PAWS, the crushing anxiety from nowhere, sleep disturbances, mood alteration, stress levels. Understandably you'd want to 'take the edge off!' chemically if in the past that's what you did? your body, mind, psyche remembers that from a cellular level for a long time. Swim can speak from experience , Swim is now clean from 15 years of H,benzo, stimulant addiction, and experiencing the same symptomology , intense unexplained anxiety, sleep alteration, stress, panic as life's stress's increase without those old chemical crutches. Can I ask are you any maintenance medication? Suboxone, methadone?
 
You say you're experiencing 'a lot' of stress... What is that stress related to, if any one thing indeed could be identified?

Have you had any abrupt changes in your diet, general sleeping design (when you intend on going to sleep/waking, what you sleep in preparation for, naps, etc)?

Welcome to Bluelight!! :)
 
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