Need/want girlfriend but have hurt low self esteem.

[Speed King]

Hey folks. I'll try to keep this short. I had a bad divorce almost 16 years ago and I have been hurt in the lady department since then. My life is completely different then it was that long ago. I'm down to earth, friendly and no drama. I just want to break the cycle and pick up my life. I feel that being alone and lonely is one of the worst pains a person can feel. The only way I become able to talk to women is usually being exceptionally high in some way. I now know this is completely wrong for me(speaking only for me). I just want to loose the fear and low self worth. I am very tired of this. Any comments are welcome.

 

[Artemisia]

Have you tried speed dating?

My mom left while I was four years old my dad didn't have any relationships after until I was living on my own and I told him to go speed dating and he was just WTH and told me that he couldn't speak to ladies unless he was wasted. I insisted him to try it and he got quite good results from that as now he can go to a bar or such and talk to women without having even ordered anything yet.

 

[Lysis]

I think that's fairly common when we get hurt or burned. I'm actually the same way but not from fear but just because I keep to myself and I'm usually in my own little world. They tell me I'm difficult to approach. Even so, I get approached in the weirdest of places and times usually when I least expect it. Usually it happens in a place where I become more comfortable around the people I'm used to. Maybe try to do something like a hobby or activity outside the house where you see the same people and feel more comfortable talking with them?