Need to get/stay clean&sober from dope again. NEED ADVICE ASAP

[TL978]

I'm currently for the first time in my life attending college which i had started back mid January a little over a month ago now. All was well at first since i had gotten out of the whole detox and rehab situation in early October and came back home. I was doing alright for a while with a few minor 1 or 2 day slip ups on crack and or heroin, but for the most part had been doing much better than the past and like i had previously mentioned before, I finally got myself enrolled in college (community college, still living at home) and now since about mid January I've been using heroin daily again. I can't go back to another detox or rehab and I truly don't have the luxury of just laying in bed for 1 - 3 days to wait for the worst of it to be over before my subutex can kick in to help, and oh yeah im prescribed to subutex, which i had been doing great on previously but obviously haven't taken this past month or so... So what should i do now since i know i need to keep going to college daily and obviously i cannot continue using so i am planning on ending this run either tonight or by tomorrow afternoon by 1:00 p.m. when my class ends. So besides waiting out the full day or so to be able to take my sub again, are there any other suggestions as to how i can overcome this for the rest of the week even though i cannot lounge around in bed so i need to be able to stay strong and atleast get up for school everyday and i know if i stop by tomorrow then by friday, Saturday the latest the worst will be over with the physical withdrawal part and possibly sooner due to me being luckily prescribed to subutex. I've kicked at home without going to treatment many times previously but most of those times i wasn't actually doing anything with my life so now that i am i need help, advice, and support as to how i can make it through this week ,approximately the next 3ish days, thanks in advanced... I hope to hear some feedback and even constructive criticism is welcome as I'm completely open minded to any and all suggestions with good intentions.

 

[herbavore]

Hey TL978, have you missed a lot of school yet? I mean, do you feel behind in your classes at this point? If not you could at least maybe give yourself two days off to be sick (people have had to take much more for the flu).

Are you worried about your family knowing or do they know what is going on?

The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to keep your goals in mind. It is easy to get distracted by stressful thoughts and want to give up (I'm sure you know this from the relapse). Give yourself forgiveness for the relapse but accompany that with fresh determination to keep your larger goals front and center.

You ARE saving your own life right now. Don't ever forget that is what you are doing. You can go to college as prescribed at 18, you can go later at 25, at 30, at 50! But you cannot do anything when you are either so locked into addiction that it becomes your whole existence or you are dead. What you are doing is the most important thing you will ever do. So give yourself credit and give yourself compassion and if it helps, use this thread as a daily check-in.

I will leave it to others to give some advice on the WDs but I wanted to address the larger framework in which this immediate problem exists. Good for you for seeking help and for advocating for yourself.

 

[zephyr]

Hi mate

I now the feeling of not wanting others to say "not again" and would suggest you do a private detox yourself first before going fown the rehab route.

Yes its hard but everyone comes down with the "flu" or just feeling poorly gutache something you ate whatever.

So chuck a sickie. Be sick a few days and let the subs kick in.


What then though?

Thats when you need extra help.

Theres nothing wrong with going to a counsellor or on going addiction care.

Maybe your family would feel better and you would feel better if you did.

Addiction is life long. Youll need to reach out to someone sometime.

 

[TL978]

Oh I've detoxed in every way you possibly can whether it be in a detox, mental hospital, jail cell, crack house, homeless outdoors and in my car and couch surfing, also back at my parents place, girlfriend's college dorm, etc. And it's Always just about the same living hell just with different aspects of things compared to the other ways... I honestly used all day yesterday up until last night at like 8:30p.m. and it's now almost 5:30ish p.m. so just 3 hours from being a full 24 hours off of the heroin and truthfully besides having extreme cravings, feeling very lethargic and low energy/tired/exhausted,and slightly achey but nothing major whatsoever... I feel absolutely fine in every other way which is strange considering the fact that 9/10 times by now I'd normally be vomitting , covered in cold sweats, barley able to stay awake and or get out of bed... I actually would have normally had all of these symptoms by this morning in previous withdrawl attempts but i woke up today and was able to goto college and I've also had no diarrhea yet and I'm not yawning excessively and along with the cold sweats, the worst symptom i normally would have by now would be just overall being covered dripping in sweat nonstop which hasnt been the case at all today... I mean my palms and ass are slightly more sweaty which isnt anything horrible at all and is completely bearable and i dont have beads of sweat pouring down my forhead and face which would have normally been happening long before now... Actually would have began this morning in normal withdrawls I've had but this time so far almost 24 hours later it hasnt which is strange so what would you say is the cause of such minimal symptoms? Did i get lucky? Or something?!

 

[CfZrx]

it's Always just about the same living hell

what do you like to do for fun?

 

[howarethings]

Maybe something to think about:

I?ve used h for years upon years. Right bout 14 years now; IV the last, oooh idk, 9 of those years. I?ve done detoxes more than I can count on both fingers and toes; rehab too... not to mention all those fun times doing it on my own w/o medical assistance. Anyway, it comes down to do you value your life and what you have now? I, too, returned to community college (after a stint in rehab, tho)..and I too got caught back in the damn mouse trap. But I didn?t come to my senses. Still didn?t do that, even after I was withdrawn and failed from classes. I cleaned up for a few months about 2.5 years ago do to my sudden occurrence of abscesses and MRSA... as I said A FEW MONTHS (yeah, wtf was I thinking). Been using straight thru for nearly 3 years again now. And once again these past few months I began getting abscesses again. If you?ve never had one, treatment is not fun by any means, nor are the symptoms. Long story short: I?m sitting in a hospital bed as I type...for a ?routine abscess? (routine for me by now, although not to my liking). However, I have been in the hospital for 4 days, will have to undergo surgery to remove the infection and was diagnosed with hepatitis c while here. I had just started working again, got a car, was doing well? taking care of myself (besides using), setting and reaching goals, FINALLY found a shred of hope.... And now it?s all been ripped from me. The only way to afford treatment for this now is to quit my job and get on state funded healthcare bc I cannot afford the $30,000 a month for TX.

I hope you understand what I?m trying to get at. I?ve been there many times and have always made the wrong choice and look where it got me. A f*cking death sentence. I wouldn?t wish this on my worst enemy. I sincerely hope you read some of this, and heed some of the warning as well. I know not every case is the same, but sadly, the statistics are there. Good luck to you, my friend in spirit. May you find your peace and place in this world sooner than I wAs able.