Need support quitting opiates

[Thisisntme]

Hello, so this is my first post on this site and im hoping i can get some help and support with quitting this devillish drug.
So some background. Im 19 years of age and a little over a year ago i started using oxycodone. I started off with just a few percs here and there then quickly escalated to using oxies such as 80mg pills and all sorts of opiates like dilaudid and hydros. I only ever snort these things on a daily basis and ill use anywhere arround 80 to 200mg of oxy a night. But i am done with this drug its ansolutely ruining every aspect of my life. I am working and going to college at the moment and i fear one day losing these 2 very important things to me because of my addiction. Im ready to quit but i cant do it alone. If you guys can share your experiences with me i would be very thankful. Tomorrow will be my first day going clean and im soo afraid of withdrawal. No one in my family knows about my problem and all my friends are too caught up in their addiction to reach out and help me. I just feel so alone and need people out there to share their experiences with me and just tell me that things are gonna be okay. Im so afraid of what awaits me because ive gone through withdrawal before and the mental withdrawal to me is just as bad as the physical. I feel like im going insane when im in withdrawal i feel like i have nothing to look forward too in life cause pills is all i seem to be living for lately and the depression and anxiety just gets too much to bare let alone the physical part. If you guys could please just give me a gelping hand by sharing your experiences with me and letting me know im not alone i would be soo grateful for that. Thank you.

 

[Jabberwocky]

But i am done with this drug its ansolutely ruining every aspect of my life.

I just want to point out that, while it is very, very understandable, whether you are or are not "done" with opioids with any real finality is yet to be seen. You want to be done with them, and understandably so considering you're working and going to college. I can only imagine how much of a burden it is to have to deal with a habit, work AND school! I could barely handle the habit and school, barely.

Tomorrow will be my first day going clean and im soo afraid of withdrawal. No one in my family knows about my problem and all my friends are too caught up in their addiction to reach out and help me. I just feel so alone and need people out there to share their experiences with me and just tell me that things are gonna be okay. Im so afraid of what awaits me because ive gone through withdrawal before and the mental withdrawal to me is just as bad as the physical. I feel like im going insane when im in withdrawal i feel like i have nothing to look forward too in life cause pills is all i seem to be living for lately and the depression and anxiety just gets too much to bare let alone the physical part.

This fear, this anxiety faced with all the stress detoxing and having to hide it without really knowing how to cope is really, really tough. The natural inclination is to run away from the fear, to distract yourself so as not to have to deal with the stress and anxiety of how boxed in and fucked you may feel. This, however, will likely lead to relapse - it always did for me one way or another.

That is the tough part about doing this with lots of external responsibilities. On the one hand, it's such a gift you have stuff to distract yourself with while kicking. On the other, those same responsibilities can make the kick feel impossibly overwhelming.

I have a few suggestions. First, don't prioritize mere abstinence over not meeting your day to day obligations and duties (both to yourself and others). You want to find a balance between going to class, handling work, and giving yourself the time you need to get off the drugs. This kind of juggling act is supremely difficult, so try not to beat yourself up or be too harsh with yourself if you don't feel you're handling business. What I'm really trying to say is that don't set you expectations and goals with abstinence too high right now.

It sounds like a course of buprenorphine, about six to twelve months worth, would be best for you. An extended taper. You could set that up all on your own without your family or work's knowledge. It would be just as stressful to do behind their back as kicking without it would be, and likely a LOT safer and more efficacious. We can help walk you through how to go about doing that here.

Regardless of what you do, you will need to stay connected to a support network throughout this process. Ideally the would be first and foremost IRL, but BL will do in a pinch. Do not hesitate to reach out to us. Stay connected. The only stupid question is the one you don't ask. You'll learn it quickly - we WANT to help you here on BL. In fact, most people IRL also want to as well, they just don't know how or are unaware there is even a need. But that is neither here nor there.

Things will get better! Hold your head up my friend. We are and will be here for you throughout this process. It won't be easy, but you can so totally fucking do this! What you are doing is so incredibly admirable

 

[d3athadone]

Hang in there little bro. Take a lot of happiness in the fact that you only been using for a little while. I been using 9 years and I am on week 2 and feeling ok. I'm pretty damn tired a lot of the time and whatever but still I feel pretty good. The trick to withdrawals is all attitude. I've detoxed cold turkey off like every normal opiate you can think of. The first times are the hardest because you truly believe your life is ending and it feels like Armageddon in your mind. But its not. When your at your darkest, when you feel so alone, when you feel lost in your mind, like your so far away from home or anything that feels normal, look for the light. Find the positive and use your logic to rationalize the situation. For instance. On day 3. I just kept reminding myself how much better I would feel on day 5. Then on day 5 I reminded myself about day 7. Also I believe in the power of myself. I believe I can do this. As challenging as it is. These things help me in withdrawal. They are like a shield against the overpowering dark. YOu need to take a week out of your life and stay home and detox. Then you need to accept the fact that your life is going to be less enjoyable and quite strange for a good couple of months. You won't feel totally right for a year probably, but you will feel 90 percent after a few months.

 

[Jabberwocky]

And if you can get through the few months of slow going, it does get infinitely better than you could ever imagine

 

[Imtryin]

It sounds like you have a lot going for you. I don't have much advice to give you-I'm on day 10 myself. But I can't say enough about suboxone. I was not able to use it long term due to my circumstances-but I never would have gotten through those first few days without it. I think you have already been given some very sound advice. Stick around and don't leave befor the miracle happens
peace

 

[babygyrl]

I, too, want to be done with opiates...am on day 10 abuse-free!

The fear and anxiety surrounding the word "withdrawal" and all that it entails is enough to keep us frozen in our current habit, unable although very willing to shake the pills for good. I was on methadone for a month and it zonked me in the worst way. I started buprenorphine therapy on 10/11 and it is the epitome of a wonder drug. No high, just help!

Everyone experiences physical and psychological withdrawal differently but here has been my current experience since 10/10/16, my last abuse date:

PHYSICALLY I...
have periods of super active bowels and passing a lot of gas
have severe muscle aches over my entire body
fidget a lot
have uncontrollable muscle spasms in both arms and legs
have difficulty sleeping
have little to no appetite because my stomach is churning

PSYCHOLOGICALLY I...
appear composed (have been called a high functioning addict since no one would know unless I tell them) although I feel like I want to jump out of my own skin
still have the desire to put my hand to my mouth in a pill-taking gesture, although now the urge to seek out opiates is GONE

 

[babygyrl]

Give us an update, Thisisntme

How is it going?

 

[Jabberwocky]

Nice work, you are doing great babygyrl! That sucks you are having to put up with all those uncomfortable side effects of withdrawal, but it is the nature of the beast.

You're paying the piper now, so to speak. Hopefully you can find some gratitude somewhere down in there that you won't have to deal with even worse stuff later down the road if you were to put off your recovery and continue harming yourself with your opioid use.

Is there anything we can do to help support you in this process? Feel free to create your own thread in SL on your recovery process. I'm sure we all would love to get your back. You'd be surprised at how so many people out there want to give you a helping hand when they can

Keep your head up and keep up the good work!