Need support from people that have fallen under the poppy

[Serotonin101]

Morphine maintenance? I'm aware of methadone and suboxone. Few places also offer diamorphine maintenance but I have yet to hear of morphine used as a maintenance drug due to it's shorter half life thus reinforcing the behavior of periodic redosing during the day, a behavior that is often linked to the users drug of choice. 12 step programs are not "bullshit". They work for many and don't work for some, it's up to the individual to determine that. Maintenance is used as a last ditch effort for most or as an alternative for those who cannot take time away from their lives to complete some type of intensive rehabilitation AND counseling. Please be careful and be safe.

 

[Elkat13]

Good luck OP. you are not alone here. I started using h 10 years ago and other opiate pills for way longer than that(i'm all too familiar with doing cwe for norcos/vics - I've never wanted to hurt myself so I get the Tylenol out ASAP). I am just now starting my journey towards recovery. I have been on suboxone for 6 days. I've already had one relapse, but I'm going to kick this. It's a good thing you didn't take more norco without a cwe or you could be in a way worse situation. Please keep your mind open to other people's suggestions for recovery. Everyone has to do it their own way - but there are some tried and true methods that work for a lot of people.

53 percs in 3 days is a lot - but it's nothing compared to where your tolerance could go if you continue. My only advice is - please trust your gut and get on the path to recovery ASAP. Now your tolerance is still moderate, you don't want it to get worse and it will - really fast. I went from being able to kinda "feel it" off of a couple of Vicodin - to having to cwe 30-50 10/325mg norco just to feel the hydrocodone at all. Before you know it - you are taking down grams of dope a day because it's cheaper. (or at least that's what happened to me, and all the dope friends I have) If I could stop anyone from going down that path I would.

You know what to do - you are in the right place. Please be careful and safe and take care of yourself. As I opened up about my very closeted dope habit, it was amazing how many people I found in my life who had been down a similar path. Please take care. You are not alone.

 

[herbavore]

You know what to do - you are in the right place. Please be careful and safe and take care of yourself. As I opened up about my very closeted dope habit, it was amazing how many people I found in my life who had been down a similar path. Please take care. You are not alone.

This is very true, OP, and I want to also encourage you to follow through with what your spirit and body are trying to tell you to do. It will be hard but everything worth having takes some amount of discipline. I hope that you get lots of support here on Bluelight and in other areas of your life.

 

[weekday warrior]

in freshman year i had a similar experience with 400mg codiene and being opiate naive it was simply magical, after a couple of years of chasing that feeling it became unattainable even in the midst of a strong nod i had no euphoria and kicking was a combination of the worst physical feeling and the worst emotional state simultaneously. It is impossible to stay ahead of the tolerance curve, it's a losing game just stay clean.
P.S. research the brains reward/pleasure endorphin system

 

[weekday warrior]

Morphine maintenance?
I believe it, In Switzerland they have Heroine maintenance

 

[brimz]

The key to all of this is that your body needs an opioid to stave off withdrawal. Perhaps getting on morphine maintenance therapy would be a good idea? MMT means you get your opiate as a pill, from the doctor, and you use each day. All this AA/NA crap about twelve steps is bullshit, I think. Your body needs to be kept in homeostasis; at least opiates are harmless (with the exception of a select few). It's just like quitting smoking, or staying on patches long-term. Both involve replacement of the chemical of addiction---not some psychological mumbo-jumbo.

yeah well i beg to differ 16 years of mmt & i still use Crack N hEroin
What

MMT means you get your opiate as a pill, from the doctor, and you use each day. All this AA/NA crap about twelve steps is bullshit, I think. Your body needs to be kept in homeostasis; at least opiates are harmless (with the exception of a select few). It's just like quitting smoking, or staying on patches long-term.

you say it like you really know but i think you are full of it

 

[shimazu]

MMT= Methadone, not morphine.

And its not something you want to go on unless you are seriously dependent on opiates. Its just trading one addiction for another albeit a more accessible and controlled version.

Try doing stuff you liked before you started using. Also, try reading through the Bluelight Shrine sometime, a lot of deaths in there are from opiates (or opiate related combos).

 

[Kerrigan]

honeywhite is not wrong. But methadone is a pretty serious drug to get involved in.
The whole "twelve step" programme doesn't have to work in itself for there to be effective results: the steps could be nonsense, it's more the group activities and the social aspect that could help, in my opinion.

 

[killers]

Goose..I wish you the best of luck in trying to keep yourself busy and your mind off of it. I am actually going threw somewhat the same thing you are. So I am here to talk to you and be an ear you can talk too. Its very hard. And I am feeling better already with writting this post. With a good mindset, and knowing this is what you want to do....you will be able to do it. Just NEVER give up on yourself!!!

 

[Elkat13]

This is very true, OP, and I want to also encourage you to follow through with what your spirit and body are trying to tell you to do. It will be hard but everything worth having takes some amount of discipline. I hope that you get lots of support here on Bluelight and in other areas of your life.

This is so true. It's like I'm discoverable all new sides of me, which I like but am petered at the same time. I can speak the word but sometimes can't walk the walk. I am working on this intently!