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Need some help...

Euphio

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 21, 2013
Messages
65
Location
USA
So I've kind of got a situation. My older brother is heavily addicted to heroin. He's been doing opiates for the past five years now... Cutting down at times, but pretty consistently stuck. He recently admitted to my parents he's been shooting up, so shits really hitting the fan. He says he's serious, this is the time he's quitting.

I could really use some advice on how to help him... The worst part about it is I think recently I've been part of the problem. I just started getting into dope, and I would let him know when I was picking up and we'd split the cost to get a big amount. The difference is I'm a newbie... For me it's just fun and games, I'm experimenting. He, on the other hand, is stuck in it up to his eye balls. Obviously I stopped supplying him, and am quitting myself (much easier for me). I just need to know what I should say to him, how to help him through this. Any tips I can give him to help withdrawals? It's mostly the cravings that's getting to him now. We've been buying beers every night and just hanging out, I'm trying to keep him cheerful but it's hard.

I feel like I relate so much to some of the things he says. He once said to me that he doesn't feel like he's meant for "real life." And I get that.. I've thought it myself. Life just doesn't make sense sometimes, and me and him don't seem to fit in. However, I'm not heavily addicted, so I don't think he believes me when I say "yeah, I understand."

I love my brother, he's my best friend. I would really appreciate ANY advice to get him through this tough time. What did people say that touched you coming out of an addiction? What did people say or do that just bothered you?
 
Hi Euphio,

Congrats to you and your brother for deciding to quit. The best thing for him right now is having someone there for him who he can talk to, even if your habit wasn't as big as his, you do understand what he is saying. It would have made things much harder on him if you had decided to keep using while he was struggling. Making the decision to quit before you ended up in a hole just as deep was a smart thing to do, it may have still been fun and games for you, but it never stays like that.

I'm going to move this over to Sober Living where you will find help and information in a more sobriety-friendly place.
 
I would definitely recommend a treatment facility or at the very least some type of support group. My personal experience with the 12 steps has been very positive. NA and HA meetings are free. There will be people there who have gone through the same thing. Good luck to you both.
 
Euphio, I think you've helped your brother a great deal already with your decision to stop using yourself. My sister continued to use for a good few years after I came off, we'd been co-dependent addicts a good few years after I'd followed her down the road to heroin addiction and I had to cut her out of my life to a large extent because she couldn't / wouldn't not use around me. She'd leave dirty foil and even bags of gear she'd forgotten about for me to find when she stayed over at my mum's house and took my bed for the night. Very, very difficult to deal with, damaged the relationship for a good few years, we're still rebuilding to a large extent. I think you've saved the both of you some considerable heartache here if you can make this stick.

Mehm's advice is solid. You say you don't think he feels you can relate fully to what he's saying. You may be reading more into things there than exists in reality but it may be useful for him to try something like AA / NA / SMART Recovery / whatever to put in place a support network among people he can relate to more fully, although some find it doesn't work for them, the group thing.

I think one thing you might have to be conscious of when you're hanging out given there's a bit of a co-dependent thing going on is one of you waiting for the other to 'break' and so provide the excuse for you both to use. Being able to blame the other for your weakening of resolve is common in situations like this, I found it to be true with my sister, and with my ( also co-dependent ) ex-girlfriend at the time. Your situation is slightly different if I understand aright in that you don't have a full habit you'll be detoxing from yourself so it's maybe a bit more of a one-way street but it's maybe something to be aware of all the same, especially where booze is involved in weakening the resolve and removing inhibitions still further.

Anyways, I wish you both the very best of luck. :)
 
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