Ok so i found out there is a semi local methadone clinic. The web site says they also disperse subs which is what im really looking into i think.
Anyways i am pretty broke thanks to about a 100 dollar a day habbit. Ive been trying to taper and do a very good job but sometimes i say fuck it and get hi. Which always puts me back to square one. I dont have a habbit big enough to go roaming the streets and shit and have pretty good connects which i never burn so i get fronts very easily.
My day usually starts at bed time lol. I pop one or two ms contins so i wake up in a bearable state physically. If i dont have some time release pills i wake up throw down some perc 10s or roxycets then go back to sleepfor an hour so i wake up semi normal. Then throughout the rest of the day i probably take 90 mgs of morphine and about 50mgs of oxycodone with a few vics here and there, im at a point where even 3 or 4 norcos wont make the sickness completely disappear i still have RLS.
I desperately want to get clean i was clean for 6 years went through rehab a few times moved my location, and pretty much used a detox center for two weeks too get of duragesic 5s and and an oxy iv habbit. Im nowhere near that bad this time but my bigne has been a year straight pretty uniform to what i stated above. Im afraid to cold turkey not from the acute WD but becuase i have other problems ive never dealt with and thats why i started using again (my stort is in darkside) .
Im thinking something like methadone or sub may help me alot becuase ill be able to function like a normal human and not be sick, but i wont be hi and running from my problems. Then i will tapper from the meth/subd and deal with the physicall parts. Sort of a one step at a time. Last time i did this i had alot of love and support this time i have none and thats why i belive i go back on using that and lack of self esteem and major depression.
So hows meth/sub clinic work? I have no insurance and baiscally no money... im under the assumption its about 10 dollars a day?? You just go pick up your fix every day? Do they force you to go to NA? Becuase thats not a huge option in my life i feel like the very little people in my life would turn there back on me if they new i was using again, plus NA didnt do a damn thing for me last time... after outpatient rehab i went to two meetings and went on sober for 6 years till i had what felt like an earth shattering emotional break down.
The other thing is i quit a career before i started using to do something else and im at a shitee middle job right now. I think if i had a real job my life would be 1000x better but im scared if i apply anywhere meth or sub will show up in my piss and they wont higher me even if its legit becuase of the stigma.....
I despretaley need to get one step more twords a sober life i need money in my pockets again i need to be able to get a job without the stress of getting sick, hell my WDs start 4 hrs after a dose unless im just taking alot of mscontins not chewed up.
Any advice would be nice
hopefully this wont get merged into the methadone megathread and confuse me also would like it to stand out for a while i really need some help in recovering.
Anyways i am pretty broke thanks to about a 100 dollar a day habbit. Ive been trying to taper and do a very good job but sometimes i say fuck it and get hi. Which always puts me back to square one. I dont have a habbit big enough to go roaming the streets and shit and have pretty good connects which i never burn so i get fronts very easily.
My day usually starts at bed time lol. I pop one or two ms contins so i wake up in a bearable state physically. If i dont have some time release pills i wake up throw down some perc 10s or roxycets then go back to sleepfor an hour so i wake up semi normal. Then throughout the rest of the day i probably take 90 mgs of morphine and about 50mgs of oxycodone with a few vics here and there, im at a point where even 3 or 4 norcos wont make the sickness completely disappear i still have RLS.
I desperately want to get clean i was clean for 6 years went through rehab a few times moved my location, and pretty much used a detox center for two weeks too get of duragesic 5s and and an oxy iv habbit. Im nowhere near that bad this time but my bigne has been a year straight pretty uniform to what i stated above. Im afraid to cold turkey not from the acute WD but becuase i have other problems ive never dealt with and thats why i started using again (my stort is in darkside) .
Im thinking something like methadone or sub may help me alot becuase ill be able to function like a normal human and not be sick, but i wont be hi and running from my problems. Then i will tapper from the meth/subd and deal with the physicall parts. Sort of a one step at a time. Last time i did this i had alot of love and support this time i have none and thats why i belive i go back on using that and lack of self esteem and major depression.
So hows meth/sub clinic work? I have no insurance and baiscally no money... im under the assumption its about 10 dollars a day?? You just go pick up your fix every day? Do they force you to go to NA? Becuase thats not a huge option in my life i feel like the very little people in my life would turn there back on me if they new i was using again, plus NA didnt do a damn thing for me last time... after outpatient rehab i went to two meetings and went on sober for 6 years till i had what felt like an earth shattering emotional break down.
The other thing is i quit a career before i started using to do something else and im at a shitee middle job right now. I think if i had a real job my life would be 1000x better but im scared if i apply anywhere meth or sub will show up in my piss and they wont higher me even if its legit becuase of the stigma.....
I despretaley need to get one step more twords a sober life i need money in my pockets again i need to be able to get a job without the stress of getting sick, hell my WDs start 4 hrs after a dose unless im just taking alot of mscontins not chewed up.
Any advice would be nice
