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Recovery Need help getting truly sober

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FindingSobriety

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 23, 2024
Messages
125
Hey all! I could use some help/advise!

I’ve been meth-free for over 2 years now, stimulant free for over 1 (year) and I’m now approaching my second week being alcohol-free (Already have lost 5lbs and feel 10x better!)

The problem arises with the fact that as soon as I wake up I take an upper (Wellbutrin) and start in on the Caffeine. Then, come about 6pm I always use some other substance to come down. That substance used to be alcohol, but the alcohol is destroying my body anymore so I switched to edibles.

So I’m still addicted to uppers/downers, in a sense, and I’m not truly “sober”.

The thought of true sobriety is something I have difficulty imagining, as for nearly all of my life I have been on this pattern of waking up and taking an upper, and relaxing in the evening with a downer.

For those who have found true sobriety how did you do it? I feel like the only way I’m going to find true sobriety is if I take six months off of everything (work/school/etc). But that just doesn’t seem feasible.

Thoughts?
 
Good on you for kicking the meth. That shit will get 99.9% of people in time. And alcohol. Must have been awful.

Wellbutrin is hardly reason for concern as far as proper use goes. It's an antidepressant and antismoking drug, bupropion. It's not a stimulant technically, but it tends to be stimulating. They give it to people sometimes who have stimulant addictions, and maybe I'm wrong but it seems that you like it. That and caffeine won't really hurt most people.

As for weed, well it's also a soft drug much of the time, like caffeine and bupropion. I guess it can work as a downer, depending. But it can really mess with the brains of those with various mental illnesses, which is why I won't and can't use it.

I really think you're much better off than you might say.

I think a lot of this depends on individual definitions. I have to take meds, but I consider myself sober because I'm not actively ramping up the dose of a euphoric chemical that is in turn destroying my livelihood. I don't think you are, either. No meth, no booze. Just stay away from any potentially dangerous activities while using weed.
 
AlphaMethylPhenyl said:
Good on you for kicking the meth. That shit will get 99.9% of people in time. And alcohol. Must have been awful.

Wellbutrin is hardly reason for concern as far as proper use goes. It's an antidepressant and antismoking drug, bupropion. It's not a stimulant technically, but it tends to be stimulating. They give it to people sometimes who have stimulant addictions, and maybe I'm wrong but it seems that you like it. That and caffeine won't really hurt most people.

As for weed, well it's also a soft drug much of the time, like caffeine and bupropion. I guess it can work as a downer, depending. But it can really mess with the brains of those with various mental illnesses, which is why I won't and can't use it.

I really think you're much better off than you might say.

I think a lot of this depends on individual definitions. I have to take meds, but I consider myself sober because I'm not actively ramping up the dose of a euphoric chemical that is in turn destroying my livelihood. I don't think you are, either. No meth, no booze. Just stay away from any potentially dangerous activities while using weed.
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Agreed. @FindingSobriety I think if you can handle weed mentally (some people can't) then it's not too bad :) Reducing can help maybe with anxiety/panic attacks but I'd say it's completely your choice. I think in most people it doesn't really cause much harm unless mixed with stims or worse. But for some people (like me and @AlphaMethylPhenyl) it messes with you hard. I'd say that edibles are a better choice than drinking daily. But then again I'm not you :)
 
I’m a recovering alcoholic (five years sober) and I’m 65 years old. I still use diazepam and Tramadol and apart from that it’s only strong black coffee. You’ve done a great job kicking meth into touch and two weeks off the booze is no mean feat. Your body will let you know if something isn’t right. As you grow older it certainly lets you know. Somebody once asked what it was like growing old and the reply was smear vaseling on your glasses, put marbles in your shoes and cotton wool in your ear holes. There you have it ….instant ageing.
Good luck, you are doing well.
 
AlphaMethylPhenyl said:
Good on you for kicking the meth. That shit will get 99.9% of people in time. And alcohol. Must have been awful.

Wellbutrin is hardly reason for concern as far as proper use goes. It's an antidepressant and antismoking drug, bupropion. It's not a stimulant technically, but it tends to be stimulating. They give it to people sometimes who have stimulant addictions, and maybe I'm wrong but it seems that you like it. That and caffeine won't really hurt most people.

As for weed, well it's also a soft drug much of the time, like caffeine and bupropion. I guess it can work as a downer, depending. But it can really mess with the brains of those with various mental illnesses, which is why I won't and can't use it.

I really think you're much better off than you might say.

I think a lot of this depends on individual definitions. I have to take meds, but I consider myself sober because I'm not actively ramping up the dose of a euphoric chemical that is in turn destroying my livelihood. I don't think you are, either. No meth, no booze. Just stay away from any potentially dangerous activities while using weed.
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I see what you’re saying, but I’d like to become one of those people who wake up, have a cup of coffee, and work all day long. Plus, I’m having some issues with Bupropion lately, it’s starting to dehydrate me and give me a bunch of nasty side effects, so I’d like to go off of it. As for the weed, I too have mental health issues, and I’d rather not use it, either.
 
FindingSobriety said:
I see what you’re saying, but I’d like to become one of those people who wake up, have a cup of coffee, and work all day long. Plus, I’m having some issues with Bupropion lately, it’s starting to dehydrate me and give me a bunch of nasty side effects, so I’d like to go off of it. As for the weed, I too have mental health issues, and I’d rather not use it, either.
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I hear you. Some people can do that, some people are better off living by another code. I for one have a much better life on meds, which I'm grateful for, and anyone who says to the contrary is being ignorant, mean, or both. That's just me, but I think a lot of people agree with me on that. I just don't have the right neurochemistry to live without them. They make me normal, putting me on the same playing field as the healthy people without them.

Part of what I'm saying is that meds are meant to make one's life better overall, and usually they do, though a lot of us play the proverbial guinea pig before we find meds that suit us. In the end, whatever helps someone is legitimate for them to have. A lot of people go off meds because they feel better, and then they have a hard time finding something that works after their illness resurges. I learned that lesson the hard way.

I don't think the side effects of bupropion are as bad as stimulants. Dehydration can be fixed pretty easily. For the time being, it may be best to keep taking it until you have more clean time, as again the side effects of hard stimulants, maybe meth most of all, are very severe.

The good thing is that weed is relatively soft, so it shouldn't be too hard to discontinue.

If you're really set on getting off medication, please consult a psychiatrist, and follow their guidance.
 
I’m definitely not talking about going off all my meds. Definitely. But I’d like to cut the bupropion out because I’ve begun to miss-use it, and it’s giving me nasty side effects (tremors, etc).

I wonder if I can just make it on coffee all day?
 
FindingSobriety said:
I’m definitely not talking about going off all my meds. Definitely. But I’d like to cut the bupropion out because I’ve begun to miss-use it, and it’s giving me nasty side effects (tremors, etc).

I wonder if I can just make it on coffee all day?
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Not a bad idea to cut back to begin with. I've only heard good things about buproprion. It's not prescribed much here at all. Maybe see your doc and see what they say? Maybe just lowering your dose would be good. Coffee and no buproprion gets lame fast haha
 
Is all your medications for recreational purposes or some prescribed?
Hi.
Nice to meet ya.
J
 
FindingSobriety said:
I’m definitely not talking about going off all my meds. Definitely. But I’d like to cut the bupropion out because I’ve begun to miss-use it, and it’s giving me nasty side effects (tremors, etc).

I wonder if I can just make it on coffee all day?
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Why not?

However, I wonder why the atypical antidepressant was prescribed in the first place?
 
thatmf said:
Not a bad idea to cut back to begin with. I've only heard good things about buproprion. It's not prescribed much here at all. Maybe see your doc and see what they say? Maybe just lowering your dose would be good.
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Bupropion definitely works, but it would appear I’ve built up a tolerance to it. Now I risk running out of it. And that’s not good.

thatmf said:
Coffee and no buproprion gets lame fast haha
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Exactly.
 
I should mention that I have an appointment with my Dr next week, and if she doesn’t give me a script that day I’m going to basically run out of them.

My biggest worry is going off of it midway through the semester. My course schedule has gotten increasingly difficult this year, and as a result of that (and S.A.D) I’ve admittedly been taking way too much.

I’m not opposed to going off of it (bupropion) especially given the high doses I’ve been taking recently (900mg/Day) ( I’m starting to experience negative side effects). But I can’t just go off of it in the middle of the semester.
 
I should also mention that I fell off the wagon last night. I had an insanely stressful week, and then yesterday all kinds of projects were do, and the next day (today) marked the start of Spring break, so I bought a 6 pack in the way home, ugh.
 
I got not drinking down on boring days. But how do you not have a drink when you have every last reason to party? Like I’m sitting here drinking water and I just have this strong urge to drink. It was amazing as fuck outside today, Spring is finally here, S.A.D is behind me, just God(s) do I feel like having a few beers! 🎉

How do you not drink during times like this?
 
Got stupid drunk a dew days ago. Haven’t drank since. Why is alcohol the hardest drug to abstain from?
 
Ran out of my Wellbutrin temporarily, at least until my next Dr’s appointment in a few weeks. Nasty side effects are all gone (tremors, jitteriness) but now I’m back to taking ephedrine every morning as an upper.

I try to go off everything (stimulants) and I can barely get out of bed 😕. I mean I’m not depressed. I just lay in bed all day without some sort of stimulant. And I hate it.

I’ve literally had used / abused stimulants non-stop for the entirety of my adult life (26 years). Am I sort of fucked now? Like will I ever to be able to wake up and complete an honest hard day of work without popping some sort of pill? 🤷‍♂️
 
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