whoaremeyo
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2010
- Messages
- 16
I'm writing about my best friend. It's really starting to get to me. About 4 or 5 years ago, I had just gotton out of a boarding school. We had known each other in middle school, though only as aquaintances. He found me on AIM (back in those days, haha), and we got together and started hanging out.
About a year later, we went to our first music festival together, had our first trip together. We liked to think of ourselves as "hippies". We would trip every so-often. Then he introduced me to my fiance, basically paved the way to the rest of my life.
All three of us became the best-of-friends, closer than most people ever get to their friends, while I was simultaneously falling in love with my now-fiance. We lived a few good years like this, my fiance and I usually not using any drugs except tripping every-so-often, and he would just smoke pot, I had this picture in my head of him as this jolly, pot-smokin' farmer, and he played the charicture well, such a happy-go-lucky guy.
At one point, my fiance and I went through some type of psychosis together, in which we had a falling out with all of our friends-- including him. We didn't talk much for a month or so, and when we got back together, he had started getting involved in pills-- benzo's, opiates, etc. It wasn't too big of a deal, just what he liked to do, y'know?
Now, over the past year (i think-- not too good of a sense of time), he's always going in this cycle. At one point, he was really bad off, doing sometimes upwards of 120mg of oxycontin a day. He then tapered himself off with suboxone.
One day, I was so scared, he had taken a lethal ammount of drugs-- a large dose of barbituates (which he never takes), a large dose of benzos (which he rarely takes), a large dose of opiates (opana, 40mg), a fifth of vodka, and a few carisprodol, and he was even scared he was close to death.. this scared the fuck out of me, I love this kid so much.. he's my best friend, and he hardly cared... that scares me more..
He's always off and on opiates, and when he's off them, i see the old guy, he's so happy and uppity, not depressed. And then he'll do an opiate, and suddenly he's depressed and has to do them to stop the depression-- i don't understand it. He seems to think he is invincable to drugs-- and that if he see's himself getting really "bad off" he can stop-- which he seems to be able to do, but what if one time he can't? I just love the guy... and I don't know what to do.
By the way, this friend of mine is not even 18 yet. He is 17, and he's been hanging out with this crowd. Theres a few people there (the ones he actually likes) who are really good, honest people. They have kids and they are trying to get clean, etc. They're in their 30's (30-38) and give him drugs though-- there's people who shoot up in their house, I don't know. His mom loves him so much, but has some drug problems herself, so she enables him and vice versa.
He thinks I judge him if I mention this to him-- but i'm really just worried.. and I can't be straight up or I'm scared he won't talk to us anymore-- and I feel like we're the only friends that REALLY care about him.
He has dreams of being a psychiatrist, of being married, I WANT to see this happen.
Advice?
About a year later, we went to our first music festival together, had our first trip together. We liked to think of ourselves as "hippies". We would trip every so-often. Then he introduced me to my fiance, basically paved the way to the rest of my life.
All three of us became the best-of-friends, closer than most people ever get to their friends, while I was simultaneously falling in love with my now-fiance. We lived a few good years like this, my fiance and I usually not using any drugs except tripping every-so-often, and he would just smoke pot, I had this picture in my head of him as this jolly, pot-smokin' farmer, and he played the charicture well, such a happy-go-lucky guy.
At one point, my fiance and I went through some type of psychosis together, in which we had a falling out with all of our friends-- including him. We didn't talk much for a month or so, and when we got back together, he had started getting involved in pills-- benzo's, opiates, etc. It wasn't too big of a deal, just what he liked to do, y'know?
Now, over the past year (i think-- not too good of a sense of time), he's always going in this cycle. At one point, he was really bad off, doing sometimes upwards of 120mg of oxycontin a day. He then tapered himself off with suboxone.
One day, I was so scared, he had taken a lethal ammount of drugs-- a large dose of barbituates (which he never takes), a large dose of benzos (which he rarely takes), a large dose of opiates (opana, 40mg), a fifth of vodka, and a few carisprodol, and he was even scared he was close to death.. this scared the fuck out of me, I love this kid so much.. he's my best friend, and he hardly cared... that scares me more..
He's always off and on opiates, and when he's off them, i see the old guy, he's so happy and uppity, not depressed. And then he'll do an opiate, and suddenly he's depressed and has to do them to stop the depression-- i don't understand it. He seems to think he is invincable to drugs-- and that if he see's himself getting really "bad off" he can stop-- which he seems to be able to do, but what if one time he can't? I just love the guy... and I don't know what to do.
By the way, this friend of mine is not even 18 yet. He is 17, and he's been hanging out with this crowd. Theres a few people there (the ones he actually likes) who are really good, honest people. They have kids and they are trying to get clean, etc. They're in their 30's (30-38) and give him drugs though-- there's people who shoot up in their house, I don't know. His mom loves him so much, but has some drug problems herself, so she enables him and vice versa.
He thinks I judge him if I mention this to him-- but i'm really just worried.. and I can't be straight up or I'm scared he won't talk to us anymore-- and I feel like we're the only friends that REALLY care about him.
He has dreams of being a psychiatrist, of being married, I WANT to see this happen.
Advice?
