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Need advice on an ultimatum

Dr Pepper

Dr Pepper

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 29, 2009
Messages
458
Location
tx
Aight so heres whats up. Was using heroin and other painkillers quite a good amount last year.
Parents had found out and i told em i could get clean, using subs... etc etc
Ended up failing a couple times.
Relapsed on heroin multiple times and parents dont really trust me.
My mom is convinced from this therapist bitch that if i dont get help i am going to DIE. She says thats the only thing that can happen. And that i cant quit on my own or i already would have.

I want to stay clean. I made it my new years resolution and i am DEAD SET on staying off drugs. Doing hep c treatment so i feel shitty alot as well as having chronic back pain issues but im trying to take it a day at a time. Since i went to the needle they think i cant break free.
Im already over physical withdrawawls. Havent used since before new years and things are slowly feeling better.

The problem is they want me to go to rehab. Like for a month. Or else they say they want me to "get out". Im in a bind because i rely on them to pay for my hep c medication as well as other shit such as school and stuff.
I tell them that the rehab is just going to isolate me from drugs and wont be anything like the real world. I tell them that if i want to get clean i can do it on my own and thats the only way because it ultimately comes down to me. So im going to stay clean.
But they already have broken trust and are convinced that an IDU cannot quit on their own. Im going to try to carry my weight more and try to secure a job soon and get my shit together. I have court on the 16th and i cant just up and leave to new mexico for a fancy expensive rehab. Im not even physically dependant. Sure i get cravings and pain but i honestly never thought heroin was even that amazing. I just didnt like being in pain all the time.

Worst yet is mom is threatening an intervention and bringing other family into this. Yet im not even high or using. Shes going to tell them that i am though. Or at least threaten it. Possibly irreparably damaging the way some of them see and treat me. Its beyond fucked.
I've used like three times in the past 2 weeks. I dont consider myself addicted. I already cold turkeyed and i dont know what to do, feel as if im backed into a corner.
Parents constantly condescending bringing up events from years ago (had to go to the ER once) and they keep telling me rehab is cheaper than funeral and all that shit.

They cannot wrap their head around the notion that i want to be clean and that its something i can do for myself.
Any ideas? I know rehab might be good but honestly i dont think i need it and the cost is ridiculously expensive and honestly i would rather talk to a therapist every once in a while and just keep busy till i can get over PAWS and shit.

I feel like due to the cost and maybe deep hidden hope that my parents might think i can do this on my own. They have a drug test sitting around that i have made clear i will take at ANY TIME. I tell them that if i used again i will agree to go to rehab but they are afraid and dont believe anything i say.
Its very frustrating. Im always being told "i wish you were doing stuff like so and so" etc etc and my back pain has limited me in my endeavors. I need to sort my shit out and i dont think rehab is the answer.
Advice welcome.
 
If you want your parents support you gotta play by there rules. If I was you I would go, rehab can be "fun" in a weird way like I met some cool people and learned alot from talking to them. If you go just remember your there for you so take what you want and leave what you dont. If your dead against it maybe you can compromise by getting on suboxone or methadone and agreeing to take drug tests?
 
Today is the 4th of January. If you have only used "like three times in the past 2 weeks" as you suggest, that's once every 4.67 days!

Are you really sure your behavior has changed? In my experience, trust is lost quickly and rebuilt slowly. In order to regain their trust, I would express a willingness to follow their advice and suggestions.

There are likely to be rehabs in the town you live, and many are covered by social programs and private insurance. You don't need to go to New Mexico or Malibu to get clean!

Regarding the therapist you want to see now again, would that be the BITCH that thinks you are going to DIE?

I could go on and on, but sounds like you are going to do what you are going to do. I've been through everything you have and more. Maybe you need some time fending for yourself to sort out your priorities.

Hope that calling you on your bullshit hasn't offended you.

Peace,

FC
 
From what you've said, if your parents had got you to take the drug test they have sitting around you might well have tested positive.

Your drug using has got you Hep C and a court date so far, and you probably believed that you weren't addicted prior to those things happening.

You don't mention your age, but if you're financially dependent on your parents and don't have a job then they get to choose what they will and won't pay for.

What you've written honestly doesn't sound all that convincing - if it's what you're saying to your parents then it probably doesn't sound all that convincing to them either. They'e offering you something to make quitting easier and you're rejecting that offer, which likely makes them cynical about your sincerity.

You say that you'd be willing to see a therapist. I think that sounds like a good idea - partly because it will keep you real about where you're truly at regarding your drug use but also because the therapist can help you to be less adversarial towards your parents.
 
I guess ill be more open minded. I have screwed up and im trying to deal with the problems that have resulted. I am just really offended that she has the nerve to say i cant quit on my own, and i dont believe in the whole disease model of addiction and the NA stuff she has preached to them
I know its tough staying clean and these last few nights of shit sleep suck. However i still think im strong enough. I guess ill keep yall updated. Thanks for the honesty
 
Lots of people quit drugs without rehab. In my experience rehabs are full of young people that are forced there or people who have tried and continue to fail to stop using on their own. These groups are not necessarily representative of the entire drug using population. The majority of people quit smoking on their own which is considered the most addictive drug of all and "relapse" is possible on just about every street corner.

If you think a rehab might be helpful but you do not like NA, then maybe you can find a rehab that is not based on the 12-steps. It does gives you a good break from your environment and allows you to focus completely on yourself.

But it's not necessary to do it on our own just to prove to your parents that you can, if that is part of your motivation. Take whatever approach you feel will be best for you.
 
You say you don't have a problem getting clean. You want to get clean. They want you to go to rehab. So go. Am I missing something?

If you have failed getting clean on your own numerous times already why should they think this time is any different?

Suck it up and humor them. Consider yourself lucky you have a family that cares about you.
 
Someone said that if they are paying for everything than you have to play by their rules. Couldn't have said it better than that.

From my perspective: You did quit cold turkey and that is amazing and impressive.

That being said, if you really do want to quit, rehab will only help (if you go to the right one, shop around first!). Things are only going to get worse in your home life if you don't do it, and that will probably send you back to the needle. If you go to the right rehab, it's really not that bad, at all. They have really good food and lots of it. They also usually have cool people that have gone through the same thing as you. Does the sharing of very intimate secrets suck? Yes. Does talking to therapists suck? Yes. Does being totally sober suck? Yes. However, doesn't being kicked out and not getting your medication suck more? Yes.

I would just do it, you'll have a better time than you think. The only problem for my friends was going to a 12 step program.

There are cool alternative Wilderness rehab has helped a lot of my friends and they learned some really cool stuff.

Bottom line, I would go. Besides your ego being bruised, this can only be a good thing
 
Dr Pepper said:
I guess ill be more open minded. I have screwed up and im trying to deal with the problems that have resulted. I am just really offended that she has the nerve to say i cant quit on my own, and i dont believe in the whole disease model of addiction and the NA stuff she has preached to them
I know its tough staying clean and these last few nights of shit sleep suck. However i still think im strong enough. I guess ill keep yall updated. Thanks for the honesty
Click to expand...

Worst case scenario is that you'll learn some strategies in rehab which can help you with staying clean. You don't have to believe in the disease model of addiction (I'm a huge critic of it) to benefit from having more self-awareness about your relationship with drugs.
 
Yeah ive already quit alcohol and cigarettes in the past couple months and i've although ive failed my few attempts to stop, my usage dropped dramatically towards the end. And the attemps were half assed and not resulting from personal motivation.
I might just have to humor them and go . But pain issues kept me going back to painkillers. Currently seeing a new chiro and he's awesome, finally getting relief for first time in a while.
My pain completely drove my addiction and id rather keep seeing this chiro and going to meetings than going to a rehab where i might have flare ups and end up miserable instead of working on beating the pain. Argh. If i find a place that adresses this and does pilates or something i think that would be an option.
 
Alright guys.
Well i was pretty against all this shit. BUt anyways. I went ahead and went. Was at lake arrowhead for about a week for detox, then at sovereign health in southern california for another 35 days or so.

Im going to have to say that this was probably the best thing i've ever done for myself.
Even on my interferon treatment i went from 153 to 164 lbs, all muscle, am now able to sleep like a baby all night (this took 3-4 weeks to happen). I am happy now without putting shit in my body. Whether its heroin or suboxone or weed or alcohol i am off of it. Only on my shitty interferon meds for hep c, which is still undetectable and i do my 14th of 24 injections on wednesday. The steps are easy to tear apart and whatnot, but truly they work. I had so much ammo against them. But its what i needed and honestly its simple as fuck. Anyways, im not cured by any means, but im happy and healthy and honestly dont know what the fuck i was doing. Actually i do, i was fucking myself repeatedly and lost in a spiral of depression and self pity and worthlessness and a bunch of bullshit that isnt me and that doesnt even cross my mind anymore.
Anyways i hope this inspires somebody to get clean and sober. Ill probably be off the site since i used to be on it hours every day it seemed like. Just wasting time. Now i actually have so much shit i wanna do, all this stuff and almost not enough time it seems like. So im happy with life for the first time in years. Never to young or to old for rehab. Im 20 myself. And drugs took me nowhere good. PM me if you wanna chat or seek advice.
Currently 43 days sober. Feels great.

And lol @ my bullshit in the above posts. I could rationalize whatever and lie about anything to justify my addiction. O and i used after my new years resolution lol right before rehab i used hard. Grass is greener on the other side.
 
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