Aight so heres whats up. Was using heroin and other painkillers quite a good amount last year.
Parents had found out and i told em i could get clean, using subs... etc etc
Ended up failing a couple times.
Relapsed on heroin multiple times and parents dont really trust me.
My mom is convinced from this therapist bitch that if i dont get help i am going to DIE. She says thats the only thing that can happen. And that i cant quit on my own or i already would have.
I want to stay clean. I made it my new years resolution and i am DEAD SET on staying off drugs. Doing hep c treatment so i feel shitty alot as well as having chronic back pain issues but im trying to take it a day at a time. Since i went to the needle they think i cant break free.
Im already over physical withdrawawls. Havent used since before new years and things are slowly feeling better.
The problem is they want me to go to rehab. Like for a month. Or else they say they want me to "get out". Im in a bind because i rely on them to pay for my hep c medication as well as other shit such as school and stuff.
I tell them that the rehab is just going to isolate me from drugs and wont be anything like the real world. I tell them that if i want to get clean i can do it on my own and thats the only way because it ultimately comes down to me. So im going to stay clean.
But they already have broken trust and are convinced that an IDU cannot quit on their own. Im going to try to carry my weight more and try to secure a job soon and get my shit together. I have court on the 16th and i cant just up and leave to new mexico for a fancy expensive rehab. Im not even physically dependant. Sure i get cravings and pain but i honestly never thought heroin was even that amazing. I just didnt like being in pain all the time.
Worst yet is mom is threatening an intervention and bringing other family into this. Yet im not even high or using. Shes going to tell them that i am though. Or at least threaten it. Possibly irreparably damaging the way some of them see and treat me. Its beyond fucked.
I've used like three times in the past 2 weeks. I dont consider myself addicted. I already cold turkeyed and i dont know what to do, feel as if im backed into a corner.
Parents constantly condescending bringing up events from years ago (had to go to the ER once) and they keep telling me rehab is cheaper than funeral and all that shit.
They cannot wrap their head around the notion that i want to be clean and that its something i can do for myself.
Any ideas? I know rehab might be good but honestly i dont think i need it and the cost is ridiculously expensive and honestly i would rather talk to a therapist every once in a while and just keep busy till i can get over PAWS and shit.
I feel like due to the cost and maybe deep hidden hope that my parents might think i can do this on my own. They have a drug test sitting around that i have made clear i will take at ANY TIME. I tell them that if i used again i will agree to go to rehab but they are afraid and dont believe anything i say.
Its very frustrating. Im always being told "i wish you were doing stuff like so and so" etc etc and my back pain has limited me in my endeavors. I need to sort my shit out and i dont think rehab is the answer.
Advice welcome.
Parents had found out and i told em i could get clean, using subs... etc etc
Ended up failing a couple times.
Relapsed on heroin multiple times and parents dont really trust me.
My mom is convinced from this therapist bitch that if i dont get help i am going to DIE. She says thats the only thing that can happen. And that i cant quit on my own or i already would have.
I want to stay clean. I made it my new years resolution and i am DEAD SET on staying off drugs. Doing hep c treatment so i feel shitty alot as well as having chronic back pain issues but im trying to take it a day at a time. Since i went to the needle they think i cant break free.
Im already over physical withdrawawls. Havent used since before new years and things are slowly feeling better.
The problem is they want me to go to rehab. Like for a month. Or else they say they want me to "get out". Im in a bind because i rely on them to pay for my hep c medication as well as other shit such as school and stuff.
I tell them that the rehab is just going to isolate me from drugs and wont be anything like the real world. I tell them that if i want to get clean i can do it on my own and thats the only way because it ultimately comes down to me. So im going to stay clean.
But they already have broken trust and are convinced that an IDU cannot quit on their own. Im going to try to carry my weight more and try to secure a job soon and get my shit together. I have court on the 16th and i cant just up and leave to new mexico for a fancy expensive rehab. Im not even physically dependant. Sure i get cravings and pain but i honestly never thought heroin was even that amazing. I just didnt like being in pain all the time.
Worst yet is mom is threatening an intervention and bringing other family into this. Yet im not even high or using. Shes going to tell them that i am though. Or at least threaten it. Possibly irreparably damaging the way some of them see and treat me. Its beyond fucked.
I've used like three times in the past 2 weeks. I dont consider myself addicted. I already cold turkeyed and i dont know what to do, feel as if im backed into a corner.
Parents constantly condescending bringing up events from years ago (had to go to the ER once) and they keep telling me rehab is cheaper than funeral and all that shit.
They cannot wrap their head around the notion that i want to be clean and that its something i can do for myself.
Any ideas? I know rehab might be good but honestly i dont think i need it and the cost is ridiculously expensive and honestly i would rather talk to a therapist every once in a while and just keep busy till i can get over PAWS and shit.
I feel like due to the cost and maybe deep hidden hope that my parents might think i can do this on my own. They have a drug test sitting around that i have made clear i will take at ANY TIME. I tell them that if i used again i will agree to go to rehab but they are afraid and dont believe anything i say.
Its very frustrating. Im always being told "i wish you were doing stuff like so and so" etc etc and my back pain has limited me in my endeavors. I need to sort my shit out and i dont think rehab is the answer.
Advice welcome.