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NA/AA meetings trigger cravings?

ark9

ark9

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 17, 2014
Messages
90
Location
NJ
I swear, sometimes I feel worse after leaving a meeting than before I arrived.

Sitting in a room listening to people talk about drugs, makes me thinks about drugs.

And to me, that makes sense? So what I don't understand is how other people don't seem to have this issue, too. I cannot tell you how many times in the past I've left a meeting and copped (without having any prior intentions of doing so). It's terrible.

Maybe meetings aren't for me. I already feel guilty enough because I still smoke weed and drink occasionally. (I'm recovering from heroin addiction, never had an alcohol problem)

I want meetings to work for me because sobriety can be painfully boring, and it'd be nice to meet some people.
 
Ditto, me too. I can't stand the self-hatred and self-pity that seems so prevalent among folks in the rooms. Don't get me wrong, there are lots of great stories to be heard too, but it just isn't my cup of tea for so many reasons.
 
I feel very similarly. Not only do I find meetings triggering sometimes (though not always). I also find the underlying 12-step message to be really dispiriting and willfully off-limits for questioning or evidence-based improvement.

It's taken me a long time (about 2 years of failing recovery) to realize that I could choose my own path. I still get tons of pressure from "professionals" such as counselors and shrinks. And who knows, maybe I'm kidding myself with denial, as I'm often told. But I don't think so. I feel much more empowered and hopeful since admitting to myself that 12-step fellowships won't be a big part of my recovery.

It's a shame, though... there are things I really like about meetings. But for me personally, especially at this early stage in my recovery (sill under a month), I'm keeping my distance.
 
Me Four. Like Simco, I failed at recovery for about three years. After each relapse, I was told the failure was mine alone. Each of those times, there was very little compassion and a whole lot of judgment. After my final binge back in March which landed me in detox again, I lived, breathed and slept AA/NA for about two months. And again, I was basically told that as someone who was so newly sober, I had no right to say anything at a meeting. "Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth." Twelve step meetings remind me of a college fraternity. They were hazed and made to feel like shit, so they relish the opportunity to do it to a newcomer. So I ordered a copy of Jack Trimpey's Rational Recovery and realized I can make a decision not to ever use again under any circumstances. It's more complicated than that, but that is it in a sentence. And I take my psych meds for depression religiously. And I don't need to surround myself by a bunch of people who are abstinent but far from sober. I have the best program of all. I got my life back.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
That's a huge reason why I don't go to meetings myself. It seems counter productive. I like to engage in non-drug related stuff as a part of recovery.

Hope you are doing well today :)
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I also personally do not go to meetings either for the reasons you mentioned Captain. I hope you and everyone posting in this thread is doing well with your sobriety.

I know some people who love AA/NA/non-12 step meetings but these people are big into networking, and it seems as though they revolve their lives around meetings in a way or some use them as a major social outlet.

I also know people who go to meetings of the above mentioned type, and they wound up meeting other people who they started to use alcohol and other drugs with at meetings, and wind up relapsing or trying new drugs and getting addicted to them.

Some people do get major cravings after going to AA/NA/non-12 step sobriety meetings. I guess the best advice would be that if it gets really bad and you feel as though you are going to act on those cravings and relapse, would be not to go to meetings then.
 
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Lol - I used to have some of my best binges after meetings. Sitting there for an hour talking about drugs and alcohol would really initiate my cravings. It wouldn't help if someone came in drunkmor jigh either. I remember going to this one meeting around the holidays - it was our "Christmas Party" meeting so it was a meeting, dinner, followed by another meeting. The person next to me must have a had flask on them as I could smell Brooke very strongly both from them and their drink. It was absolutely maddening. Needless to say I stopped at the store on my way home. I took a break from the meetings after that.

I have found not all meetings are triggers in and of themselves. In my current city we have a different meeting every half hour so there are many options. Some of the meetings aren't too bad and the discussions are focused more on stress management and self care so substances don't get discussed frequently...it's a pretty good meeting. You may want to try different meetings to see if there are some that don't focus on the substances. I always enjoyed the recovery community the meetings had too.

I don't want to at you ark9, but be careful drinking. Many opiate addicts end up alcoholics and vice versa while they recover from their DOC. I think there are some shared receptors between opiates and alcohol and I have noticed a lot of crossover in recovery, myself included as I started on opiates and ended on booze. Pay attention to you alcohol use and if you find your tolerance increasing consider taking a break. Alcohol addiction can be pretty insidious and it happens quickly. Ideally alcohol should be avoided ;)
 
I get a kick out of how I always tend to have cravings after I finish my DUI classes. And I am not a drinker whatsoever, alcohol was never my DOC. But the other day when I got home I just had to have a glass of champagne filled with sliced white grapes. I only drank maybe 2/3rds of it because I just honestly do not enjoy drinking that much. The grapes were super tasty with the champagne though, but on the whole the exercise just reminded me how much I dislike alcohol.
 
Moreaux is right on with her post. When I had a pill addiction, even though it was relatively easy by today's standards, it was still much more involved than walking to the corner convenience store and buying alcohol. I had to find a bogus doctor, make an appointment, then actually go and "see" the doctor. Same goes for pot. My "dealer" was one of my former college students who left the area to pursue graduate school. Even though it seems like everyone is smoking weed, I'd still have to go to some degree of trouble to find it now, again, more so than I would walking to the corner convenience store. For those of you who have been fortunate enough to escape addiction to alcohol, my advice to you would be to keep it that way. It is a bitch to stay sober when it's completely legal, cheap and there's a "dealer" on just about every corner. Just my two cents worth.
 
aihfl said:
Moreaux is right on with her post. When I had a pill addiction, even though it was relatively easy by today's standards, it was still much more involved than walking to the corner convenience store and buying alcohol. I had to find a bogus doctor, make an appointment, then actually go and "see" the doctor. Same goes for pot. My "dealer" was one of my former college students who left the area to pursue graduate school. Even though it seems like everyone is smoking weed, I'd still have to go to some degree of trouble to find it now, again, more so than I would walking to the corner convenience store. For those of you who have been fortunate enough to escape addiction to alcohol, my advice to you would be to keep it that way. It is a bitch to stay sober when it's completely legal, cheap and there's a "dealer" on just about every corner. Just my two cents worth.
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It was hell for me to quite drinking. I live on a golf course and the clubhouse is less than a mile from my house. The concession cart drives by every thirty minutes and I can order anything from it. Back when I was actively drinking I would have the concession girl drive to the clubhouse to get me booze. Living in a beach/resort town is tough as it's literally everywhere. Grocery stores here usually have someone in the foyer with wine set out to sample and people don't seem to care about day drinking. All the software development jobs I had down here let you drink at the office - I had to learn a lot of unique coping mechanisms for dealing with/seeing booze because it is everywhere, including my back yard from 9 am until dark. Tough situation.
 
Good morning ALL! I am newly sober, 61days today off of meth and heroin. To those still living the initial struggle I wish u success. Just wanted to suggest writing your own 12 steps....I started mine last night. I cant really comment on other programs but I will say I took the first step by putting myself in a place where I couldnt get high no matter what. After withdraws I came to terms w that and went from there. Recovery is and will be different for everyone. If you can't find a group you like create your own! No matter what you choose you know for sure that if your not serious about getting clean you won't get clean. Best wishe's to all of you.
 
I like that idea. Although you'd ideally need some kinda know how regarding the basics of what recovery is all about, that idea would personalize it enough to one's individual needs, challanges and skills in such a way as to maximize one's changes of success. At least in theory ;) very creative idea :)
 
I'd have to question the specific meetings you guys are attending tbh.

Not saying there's nothing at meetings that won't make you think about drugs, but IMO, a good meeting will be more focused on life issues and how you are feeling mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. And they provide a place to share that information with a group of people who aren't supposed to to make judgements or talk about it outside the meeting

Don't get me wrong, I fucking hate networking. A lot of times I don't even really talk to people at meetings. But I like to go to them because I never know what I'm going to get out of one.

It's not going to be a life changing moment from my experience, but there's a lot of things I've heard at meetings that stuck with me

TLDR: not all meetings are equal unfortunately. They are a good idea in theory, but you need to find one that works for you

ftr I prefer NA
 
I've certainly noticed how widely meetings vary. I spent a couple months in the Bay Area in California recently, and I liked the meetings there quite a lot. Unfortunately, in the provincial nowhere that I live (rural US Midwest), the vibe at meetings is very different from what I found in CA. My guess is that it's an urban vs rural thing, at least in part... not too surprising that the recovery community in the sticks is more conservative and rigid than in cosmopolitan centers.
 
They say you'll find the strongest meetings in places with the worst drug problems

That's why, @Meet0nMe, no offense, but your personal first step sounds a bit sketchy IMO.

You say you want to put yourself in a situation where you couldn't get high no matter what, but I don't get what that would entail.

Unless you live on a deserted tropical island and Robinson Crusoe your way through life, it's really hard to avoid the opportunity to get high. Are you never going to make any money ever again?

That's why the first step (the real one) is just admitting you are powerless over drugs. You don't have to avoid them like the plague, because they are literally everywhere. You just have to know they basically own you if you use them, and decide whether or not you're ok with that
 
subotai said:
They say you'll find the strongest meetings in places with the worst drug problems

That's why, @Meet0nMe, no offense, but your personal first step sounds a bit sketchy IMO.

You say you want to put yourself in a situation where you couldn't get high no matter what, but I don't get what that would entail.

Unless you live on a deserted tropical island and Robinson Crusoe your way through life, it's really hard to avoid the opportunity to get high. Are you never going to make any money ever again?

That's why the first step (the real one) is just admitting you are powerless over drugs. You don't have to avoid them like the plague, because they are literally everywhere. You just have to know they basically own you if you use them, and decide whether or not you're ok with that
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well said. yeah, dope is everywhere. i got about 40 days clean when i was in the hospital in CA, where it was impossible (or at least highly impractical) for me to source drugs. but when i got home, around my old triggers etc., i relapsed inside of a week. i quickly realized that i had to get a lot more serious about my recovery if it was going to go anywhere.
 
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