What do you do when hydrocodone makes you the person (professionally) you want to be?
(Warning: extremely long - but if you are an adult professional who relies on meds to do your job, please read)
Hello – I have read this forum for a few years but this is my first time posting. I’d like to share my friend’s story because I feel like there are a lot of people that feel similar. He doesn’t do as much (as many of his friends) that he feels it’s dangerous, but he definitely depended on his depends on these drugs to survive – and he needs it every day. It as ultimately ruined his life. Here is his story:
My friend says that even though he a Director of Sales for a software company, his entire life he has been an extremely lazy, underachiever, but he wants nice things so he has done what needed to be done to be successful. It’s like the part of his brain that gives you motivation to do stuff doesn’t, exist. He has also always said he has a very lazy brain. He does, well, and is intelligent, but his brain works slower and sometime has issues with abstract thought during business opportunities. An example, people that have ADD are overwhelmed with thoughts and have a difficult time processing them, his brain sent messages one at a time, in a very slow pace, Vyvanse and Adderall would basically speed his brain up but create the scatterbrain issues that most people with ADD have. More about that in a moment.
So one day about 5 years ago a buddy gave him a Hydrocode just as he was hanging out watching sports. BAM! He was hooked – all insecurities, worries, self-doubt went away and he felt invincible. After that, he would take a few here or there before a big meeting, and would knock it out of the park. Over time, that number continued to rise, the amount of time he sent high on hydro continued to rise. In his mind, “why wouldn’t I take this if it makes me a better person and more fun to be around”. He started seeing why quickly - obviously his tolerance started to go up, obviously he didn’t have a script so it was harder and more expensive to get and it just wasn’t working as well. He didn’t want to end up like many of his friends, taking 15-20 a day or moving to Oxy, etc.
In year two, he went to his doctor and told him he needed help finishing tasked, he has a Director level job and was overwhelmed by his workload. He was prescribed Vyvanse and Adderall (Vyvanse to take in the morning, and when it started to wear off, pop an Adderall to finish the day). Well this stuff was amazing, now he was hyper-focused and could get the euphoric feeling at the same time. The only problem was he was taking a lot more hydrocodone through the day to deal with the Vyvanse crash. These were the two best sales years of his life. He was killing it. But of course, this is relatively short lived. Hydros were almost impossible to get, He was having sever short term memory loss from the Vyvanse, and after a while his professional career was taking a nose dive. He got divorced, she took everything because she found out what he was spending on meds, it was a bad time. Not only that, but Vyvanse had gotten to the point where by the afternoon his brain no longer worked and he could barely carry on general conversations. He knew he had to get off the stuff, but how? Would he ever be back to normal? Normal actually wasn’t that great, so could he maintain his level of production on Vyvanse alone?
He tried cold turnkey 20-30 times, with the amount he was taking, withdrawals weren’t as bad as he thought, but he would always relapse when there was a big meeting or sales call. Every time. The other BIG issue he was having was that (especially the Vyvanse) would make him a zombie. He would get in front of a computer and stay in front of it all dy. Then, to save money, he would not take any on the weekends and therefore the kids would suffer because he didn’t have the energy to get op and doing anything, etc.
Then he tried Suboxone. He followed the regiment very closely. It seemed to alleviate the need for the euphoric feeling, and he felt normal taking it with Vyvanse but the crash was still brutal and after few weeks his body started ache all the time and the Subs just weren’t working. He definitely wasn’t as good in front of customers. At one stretch he had been taking a tiny sliver of Subs every day but when he had some time off and decided to get off the Subs as well, the withdrawal was worse that the Hydros.
So here here he is, divorced, gone through 3 jobs in 3 years, moody, up and down with his kids, everyday working to get the right “recipe” of the mixture of shit he takes and hope to have a productive day. If he can’t find Hydros, he can get subs buts not the same. If the Vyvanse crash wasn’t so bad, maybe could deal, but he would still miss the euphoric feeling and the way it made him feel better than ever before and finally get to the top.
He has absolutely no idea on what todo. Just started a new job – but eventually a 2 week vacation with no meds and then counseling to stay on track after he gets back. He hates the Subs.
(Warning: extremely long - but if you are an adult professional who relies on meds to do your job, please read)
Hello – I have read this forum for a few years but this is my first time posting. I’d like to share my friend’s story because I feel like there are a lot of people that feel similar. He doesn’t do as much (as many of his friends) that he feels it’s dangerous, but he definitely depended on his depends on these drugs to survive – and he needs it every day. It as ultimately ruined his life. Here is his story:
My friend says that even though he a Director of Sales for a software company, his entire life he has been an extremely lazy, underachiever, but he wants nice things so he has done what needed to be done to be successful. It’s like the part of his brain that gives you motivation to do stuff doesn’t, exist. He has also always said he has a very lazy brain. He does, well, and is intelligent, but his brain works slower and sometime has issues with abstract thought during business opportunities. An example, people that have ADD are overwhelmed with thoughts and have a difficult time processing them, his brain sent messages one at a time, in a very slow pace, Vyvanse and Adderall would basically speed his brain up but create the scatterbrain issues that most people with ADD have. More about that in a moment.
So one day about 5 years ago a buddy gave him a Hydrocode just as he was hanging out watching sports. BAM! He was hooked – all insecurities, worries, self-doubt went away and he felt invincible. After that, he would take a few here or there before a big meeting, and would knock it out of the park. Over time, that number continued to rise, the amount of time he sent high on hydro continued to rise. In his mind, “why wouldn’t I take this if it makes me a better person and more fun to be around”. He started seeing why quickly - obviously his tolerance started to go up, obviously he didn’t have a script so it was harder and more expensive to get and it just wasn’t working as well. He didn’t want to end up like many of his friends, taking 15-20 a day or moving to Oxy, etc.
In year two, he went to his doctor and told him he needed help finishing tasked, he has a Director level job and was overwhelmed by his workload. He was prescribed Vyvanse and Adderall (Vyvanse to take in the morning, and when it started to wear off, pop an Adderall to finish the day). Well this stuff was amazing, now he was hyper-focused and could get the euphoric feeling at the same time. The only problem was he was taking a lot more hydrocodone through the day to deal with the Vyvanse crash. These were the two best sales years of his life. He was killing it. But of course, this is relatively short lived. Hydros were almost impossible to get, He was having sever short term memory loss from the Vyvanse, and after a while his professional career was taking a nose dive. He got divorced, she took everything because she found out what he was spending on meds, it was a bad time. Not only that, but Vyvanse had gotten to the point where by the afternoon his brain no longer worked and he could barely carry on general conversations. He knew he had to get off the stuff, but how? Would he ever be back to normal? Normal actually wasn’t that great, so could he maintain his level of production on Vyvanse alone?
He tried cold turnkey 20-30 times, with the amount he was taking, withdrawals weren’t as bad as he thought, but he would always relapse when there was a big meeting or sales call. Every time. The other BIG issue he was having was that (especially the Vyvanse) would make him a zombie. He would get in front of a computer and stay in front of it all dy. Then, to save money, he would not take any on the weekends and therefore the kids would suffer because he didn’t have the energy to get op and doing anything, etc.
Then he tried Suboxone. He followed the regiment very closely. It seemed to alleviate the need for the euphoric feeling, and he felt normal taking it with Vyvanse but the crash was still brutal and after few weeks his body started ache all the time and the Subs just weren’t working. He definitely wasn’t as good in front of customers. At one stretch he had been taking a tiny sliver of Subs every day but when he had some time off and decided to get off the Subs as well, the withdrawal was worse that the Hydros.
So here here he is, divorced, gone through 3 jobs in 3 years, moody, up and down with his kids, everyday working to get the right “recipe” of the mixture of shit he takes and hope to have a productive day. If he can’t find Hydros, he can get subs buts not the same. If the Vyvanse crash wasn’t so bad, maybe could deal, but he would still miss the euphoric feeling and the way it made him feel better than ever before and finally get to the top.
He has absolutely no idea on what todo. Just started a new job – but eventually a 2 week vacation with no meds and then counseling to stay on track after he gets back. He hates the Subs.
