My personality has taken a turn for the worse

[opinaivekush]

I am a horrible person to my mother, father, and anyone else who helps provide for me. I just get irritable so quickly and jump to doing or saying some impulsive stuff. I am so rude to people who are trying to help me. I feel so guilty about it afterwards. Can you guys give me some support and tips on how to control this anger and become a less belligerent person. Thank to all.

 

[herbavore]

It's great that you recognize behavior that you don't like and are trying to change it. Lashing out at the people closest to you is pretty common--in a way it reflects the safety you feel with them that allows you to do that. Try being honest with them. Let them know that it is something you are working on. Admit your regret but also see if you can find ways to foster better communication when you feel irritated. Family counseling with the specific purpose of teaching families better skills for conflict resolution and non-aggressive communication is $$ no one ever regrets spending--it can really change relationships for the better.

I'm reading two books right now called Radical Acceptance and True Refuge by Tara Brach. They both address issues that could help you. Anger is a defense emotion. It's useful as a flag for what we need to pay attention to but it can be harmful when it is a stopping point in our thinking ("it's all their fault I feel like this"). Breathing in a great big breath and letting it out slowly while you count is a very simple way to slow down impulsive defensiveness and allow your mind to retreat back out of a fight or flight reaction.

Good luck. I admire you for wanting to make a change.