digital-psyKosis
Bluelighter
i only wish that i was operable enough to write down what i was experiencing at this particular time in my life...it may have (then again maybe not) been a little more poetic....instead this is my "TRUE" first hand experience crossing the thresh-hold of existing in this plane and that of one that few of us will experience in the fashion that i have.
it all started with what was dubbed as being "the largest party in the midwest for 1999", yes thats right i'm talking about get freaky 4 in cleveland. i was all about this party from the first time i saw the flyer....call me crazy but keoki is one of my inspirations on the tables and for me to see him live is euphoric....so we (me my boy who we'll call nick, and his girl at the time who we'll call shelley) packed up the car with about 300 beans, 2 grams of k, about 500 bucks between us, a full tank of gas, and a change of clothes, and headed for cleveland.
well me being the k-head i am i couldn't wait, so i started early.....blowing 20 after 20 until me and shelley had blown a whole gram....so in fear that we may run out and not find any at the party we stopped in columbus at one of my peeps house and picked up 3 more g's.....that was enough to last until cleveland, we had a gram and a half when we parked the car.....
but it wasn't that strong.....i was still functional, and yes i was acting dumb and all that but it didn't slam me like that amount of K between 2 people should.
anyways, once inside peabodies (the location of the first of 3 venues for get freaky 4) i dropped 5 pills and said let's go to town....all my peeps were there and i damn near sold out of pills....i noticed how much money i had in my pocket, and thought to myself....fuck this i'm going to keoki's venue....i'll make money there too....
well once at europa, the second of the 3 venues, i ate 5 more pills (total 10), and found a kat that was sellin some cid....i bought a 10 strip of blotter and a 10 strip of gels (yellow), split them both in half, and gave nick half of each one, then ate my 10 hits. now i was really phukt by the time keoki hit the stage.....but it was still a euphoric experience for me, i loved every minute of it especially when i talked to him and got his autograph.
then nick tells me he lost the rest of our k......being the k-haed i am i naturally wanted some for the afterhours or the hotel or whatever, so i went on a hunt. i found this guy who had 5 20's left, and willfully bought him out without thinkin twice.
well a friend of mine who had never done k b4 asked me to fronther a bag, so i did....and i didn't see her again the rest of the night...until someone came up and told me she was in the hospital....but no one knew why.
well we decided against the afterhours and decided to throw our own at the hotel. once we were there i took out my last 4 20 sax and lined them up into 4 rails....one for me, nick, shelley, and a friend of mine.
this is where it gets crazy....keep in mind all the k we did on the way to cleveland, 10 pills at the party plus 10 hits of cid....
well i took up my line, rode that rail like a champ despite my state, and leaned back in the chair....instantly i knew i was in for it.within 30 seconds i was completely numb, and there was this little black hole in the floor, as i leaned over to examine it closer, i noticed that it was getting wider and wider, and seemed to be engulfing me....of course i was believing it to be one hell of a visual from tha cid, but something was different about it, and i fell out of the chair, and onto the floor. as my body hit the floor, my soul seemed to pass thru my body and into the hole i saw in the floor, somehow i was no longer in the hotel room. this is where i began to freak.
i was falling and rushing thru this grayish tunnel, no light, no angels or demons, nothing like that, just a tunnel that seemed unending. then it did finally end, and i was in a boxlike gray room, with colored streams of liquid streaming down the almost organic-like walls. i looked around and noticed not only do i not have hands or feet, but no body whatsoever....and there were voices now, speaking in untranslatable tongues, yet they were familiar voices, but from where i knew them i could not decipher. and then there was a ball of light, centered in my field of vision in front of me, pulsating in a soft whitish-yellow color to the beat of my heart, which i could hear clear as day.
as i began to freak more and more, i my heart began to race uncontrollably, then began to diminish slowly. as my heartbeat slowed, the light grew dimmer and dimmer, until it existed no more. i remember thinking to myself...this can't be i can't be dead this can't be the end.
i started to try and find a way out of this room, this box, this whatever i was in....but everytime i moved it moved with me, making escape impossible....then there was a shocking, almost electrical jolt that rushed through me and suddenly the light reappeared brighter than before, and got brighter and brighter until it was blinding. then the light focused and i was standing in a long hallway, by myself, but it was so comfortably familiar. it was a hallway in the hotel, but....which hallway? where was i? was i really in the hotel or is this just another sequence of actions in my death? i wasn't sure but decided to try and walk around. my vision was severly damaged though.....i couldn't read anything, the ceilings, walls and doors were shaped all out of whack, and the floors seemed to shift. my feet felt like concrete blocks as i tried to take my first step. then i noticed how my body was positioned. my left leg was locked at the knee, i could not bend it for anything, and my left foot was turned inward. my arms were both curled and hands inward to my chest....i hate to say this but it is the damn truth....i looked like a retard that just got off the short bus
as i tried to comb the hallways looking for anything that looked remotely familiar, i felt a tap on my shoulder. i turned around and there were two girls standing there asking me if i needed help. i tried to speak, and all that came out was nyeau, mi furnd mik ni nid lem.....what i was trying to say was yes i need to find my friend nick, but i was so gone i was beyond translation, so each girl took a shoulder and combed the halls, knocking on all the doors that had noticeable parties going on on the other side of them. finally my friend nick came out of the elevator door, and i broke free of the girls' hold and ran to him, or at least a half-ass attempt to run anyway, i fell flat on my face and passed out. i woke up in our room, to the site of all my friends hovering over me, and i struggled for about 3 hours to get my speech, vision, motor skills, etc back to functioning status, but i finally came through, went to our room, and went to sleep.
when i awoke, we went to hard rock cafe, ate and discussed the morning's events. we were not sure if it was the strength of that last bag of k that did me in or the fact of what all i had mixed it with. all in all i was just glad to be alive. so we went to the second night of the get freaky party as after sleeping and getting some grub i felt like a million dollars.
i believe in all honestly i experienced an NDE, and it scared the holy shit out of me. now that i look back i can say i had a truly unique experience, but at what cost? nearly my life and it just wasn't worth that. needless to say upon my return from cleveland, i took a much needed 6 month break from drugs altogether to get my head str8. in that clean time i proceeded with the next step in my life....i now dj, and am following my ambition to be THE ONE up on the stage, makin peeps dance, and feel the vibe that i put out. sure i still roll and do some k or even dose some cid every once in a blue moon, but have learned the value of MODERATION, and am reaping the benfits of it as well. the other lesson i learned out of this was i could not deal anymore....not only was it putting me at risk of being put in jail for a LONG time, since i dealt in mostly weight amounts....well over bulk, but it had also become apparent that i had become my own best customer. i mean how many kids do you know that can eat 10 pills in a night and still have over 2 g's in their pocket? not many. i have learned from this experience and hope the rest of you who actually read thru this post do too. plur to all and thanx for your time. feedback and replies as long as constructive are welcome.
P.L.U.R. to all from ohio,
dj digital-psyKosis
------------------
Paranoia is a higher state of consciousness....
www.geocities.com/trip5978/trip5978.html
it all started with what was dubbed as being "the largest party in the midwest for 1999", yes thats right i'm talking about get freaky 4 in cleveland. i was all about this party from the first time i saw the flyer....call me crazy but keoki is one of my inspirations on the tables and for me to see him live is euphoric....so we (me my boy who we'll call nick, and his girl at the time who we'll call shelley) packed up the car with about 300 beans, 2 grams of k, about 500 bucks between us, a full tank of gas, and a change of clothes, and headed for cleveland.
well me being the k-head i am i couldn't wait, so i started early.....blowing 20 after 20 until me and shelley had blown a whole gram....so in fear that we may run out and not find any at the party we stopped in columbus at one of my peeps house and picked up 3 more g's.....that was enough to last until cleveland, we had a gram and a half when we parked the car.....
but it wasn't that strong.....i was still functional, and yes i was acting dumb and all that but it didn't slam me like that amount of K between 2 people should.
anyways, once inside peabodies (the location of the first of 3 venues for get freaky 4) i dropped 5 pills and said let's go to town....all my peeps were there and i damn near sold out of pills....i noticed how much money i had in my pocket, and thought to myself....fuck this i'm going to keoki's venue....i'll make money there too....
well once at europa, the second of the 3 venues, i ate 5 more pills (total 10), and found a kat that was sellin some cid....i bought a 10 strip of blotter and a 10 strip of gels (yellow), split them both in half, and gave nick half of each one, then ate my 10 hits. now i was really phukt by the time keoki hit the stage.....but it was still a euphoric experience for me, i loved every minute of it especially when i talked to him and got his autograph.
then nick tells me he lost the rest of our k......being the k-haed i am i naturally wanted some for the afterhours or the hotel or whatever, so i went on a hunt. i found this guy who had 5 20's left, and willfully bought him out without thinkin twice.
well a friend of mine who had never done k b4 asked me to fronther a bag, so i did....and i didn't see her again the rest of the night...until someone came up and told me she was in the hospital....but no one knew why.
well we decided against the afterhours and decided to throw our own at the hotel. once we were there i took out my last 4 20 sax and lined them up into 4 rails....one for me, nick, shelley, and a friend of mine.
this is where it gets crazy....keep in mind all the k we did on the way to cleveland, 10 pills at the party plus 10 hits of cid....
well i took up my line, rode that rail like a champ despite my state, and leaned back in the chair....instantly i knew i was in for it.within 30 seconds i was completely numb, and there was this little black hole in the floor, as i leaned over to examine it closer, i noticed that it was getting wider and wider, and seemed to be engulfing me....of course i was believing it to be one hell of a visual from tha cid, but something was different about it, and i fell out of the chair, and onto the floor. as my body hit the floor, my soul seemed to pass thru my body and into the hole i saw in the floor, somehow i was no longer in the hotel room. this is where i began to freak.
i was falling and rushing thru this grayish tunnel, no light, no angels or demons, nothing like that, just a tunnel that seemed unending. then it did finally end, and i was in a boxlike gray room, with colored streams of liquid streaming down the almost organic-like walls. i looked around and noticed not only do i not have hands or feet, but no body whatsoever....and there were voices now, speaking in untranslatable tongues, yet they were familiar voices, but from where i knew them i could not decipher. and then there was a ball of light, centered in my field of vision in front of me, pulsating in a soft whitish-yellow color to the beat of my heart, which i could hear clear as day.
as i began to freak more and more, i my heart began to race uncontrollably, then began to diminish slowly. as my heartbeat slowed, the light grew dimmer and dimmer, until it existed no more. i remember thinking to myself...this can't be i can't be dead this can't be the end.
i started to try and find a way out of this room, this box, this whatever i was in....but everytime i moved it moved with me, making escape impossible....then there was a shocking, almost electrical jolt that rushed through me and suddenly the light reappeared brighter than before, and got brighter and brighter until it was blinding. then the light focused and i was standing in a long hallway, by myself, but it was so comfortably familiar. it was a hallway in the hotel, but....which hallway? where was i? was i really in the hotel or is this just another sequence of actions in my death? i wasn't sure but decided to try and walk around. my vision was severly damaged though.....i couldn't read anything, the ceilings, walls and doors were shaped all out of whack, and the floors seemed to shift. my feet felt like concrete blocks as i tried to take my first step. then i noticed how my body was positioned. my left leg was locked at the knee, i could not bend it for anything, and my left foot was turned inward. my arms were both curled and hands inward to my chest....i hate to say this but it is the damn truth....i looked like a retard that just got off the short bus
as i tried to comb the hallways looking for anything that looked remotely familiar, i felt a tap on my shoulder. i turned around and there were two girls standing there asking me if i needed help. i tried to speak, and all that came out was nyeau, mi furnd mik ni nid lem.....what i was trying to say was yes i need to find my friend nick, but i was so gone i was beyond translation, so each girl took a shoulder and combed the halls, knocking on all the doors that had noticeable parties going on on the other side of them. finally my friend nick came out of the elevator door, and i broke free of the girls' hold and ran to him, or at least a half-ass attempt to run anyway, i fell flat on my face and passed out. i woke up in our room, to the site of all my friends hovering over me, and i struggled for about 3 hours to get my speech, vision, motor skills, etc back to functioning status, but i finally came through, went to our room, and went to sleep.
when i awoke, we went to hard rock cafe, ate and discussed the morning's events. we were not sure if it was the strength of that last bag of k that did me in or the fact of what all i had mixed it with. all in all i was just glad to be alive. so we went to the second night of the get freaky party as after sleeping and getting some grub i felt like a million dollars.
i believe in all honestly i experienced an NDE, and it scared the holy shit out of me. now that i look back i can say i had a truly unique experience, but at what cost? nearly my life and it just wasn't worth that. needless to say upon my return from cleveland, i took a much needed 6 month break from drugs altogether to get my head str8. in that clean time i proceeded with the next step in my life....i now dj, and am following my ambition to be THE ONE up on the stage, makin peeps dance, and feel the vibe that i put out. sure i still roll and do some k or even dose some cid every once in a blue moon, but have learned the value of MODERATION, and am reaping the benfits of it as well. the other lesson i learned out of this was i could not deal anymore....not only was it putting me at risk of being put in jail for a LONG time, since i dealt in mostly weight amounts....well over bulk, but it had also become apparent that i had become my own best customer. i mean how many kids do you know that can eat 10 pills in a night and still have over 2 g's in their pocket? not many. i have learned from this experience and hope the rest of you who actually read thru this post do too. plur to all and thanx for your time. feedback and replies as long as constructive are welcome.
P.L.U.R. to all from ohio,
dj digital-psyKosis
------------------
Paranoia is a higher state of consciousness....
www.geocities.com/trip5978/trip5978.html
