• LAVA Moderator: Shinji Ikari

My mom MIGHT be sick...wtf

psychopath

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My paternal grandmother is the family member that I am closest to.

I was at her house today, doing miscellaneous around the house stuff and just shooting the breeze with her, when she asked “Did you know that your mother might be really sick?”

Me: “No....I saw her Saturday and she seemed fine, what’s going on?”

Grandmother: “Well I called your daddy yesterday and...then he handed the phone to your mother and she told me she had a test Friday and that they think she has a very serious problem. She said it might be an autoimmune disease. She passed out during the test they gave her to see if it was that disease.

Me: “What’s the name?”

“You know I don’t remember a lot of things, so I can’t tell you the name. What have you heard?”

Me: “uh...nothing..wow”

My mother has other health issues (fibromyalgia, Type II Diabetes, depression, had ovarian cancer about 20 years ago resulting in complete hysterectomy).

My grandmother made it sound like she was not really suppose to know and that I shouldn’t say anything. I don’t want to breach her confidence (we have a VERY strong confidentiality together) but I want to know what the hell is going on with my mother.

She is one of very few people (her, my brother and sisters, grandmother, fiance) that my emotions would in anyway be effected if she died.

Should I call/text or just wait? This is driving me nuts....
 
I would probably say I 'felt' like something was wrong the last time you saw her and ask what's up but that's not the right solution, I don't think. Tough situation. I guess the right thing to do is wait for your mom to come to you. It's her news to tell so let her take her time to let you know if anything's up. Good luck to you and your mom. <3
 
tell the truth and ask whats going on, simple. for me having deception involved with an illness is kinda a double negative. illness is already filled with negative feelings, why compound it?
 
I can understand wanting to know what's wrong --- I lost my mom to cancer when I was 20, which was only about 3 and a half years ago. You asked if you should call or text...do you live near your mom? Will be be seeing her sometime soon? In person you could just say something like "hey ma, is something up recently with you?" and I would do that because I feel like a lot of times we can feel things being wrong with our parents, often before they tell us. I knew something was up with my mom long before she went to a doctor (she hadn't gone to one since giving birth to me), so that's why I suggest this.
 
I live probably 3 miles from my mother. I could drive over there any evening and she would be there (95% of the time)

My only hold up is my mother feeling like she can't tell my grandmother stuff, then my grandmother feeling the same about me.

I don't want to ruffle feathers. I am the only one stressing out about except those 2 and my father.

Ahhh...decisions decisions...
 
Well, I hope your mother is okay <3
If I were in your situation I would call her or go over and just ask her how she's doing- See if she offers anything up- if she says no I'd probably figure someway to say that if there WAS something she could talk to me anytime.....just to let her know.
She probably doesn't want to worry anyone without knowing what the test says.

I'll be sending positive vibes your families way <3
Please keep us posted!
 
<3 I had a quick read through of that link.
I hope they're able to help her with the symptoms.
They're all very similar to fibro, which I know you said she had.
Hopefully there are some different treatment options for her.
Keep your head up and I'm sure I don't need to say but be sure to be supportive and let her know you're there for her <3
 
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