My mom had surgery today to see if her cancer returned

[Tryptamine*Dreamer]

I am hoping the mass between her lungs is just scar tissue, which is a possibility. Her breast cancer was undetectable after she finished chemo and radiation. I don't know what I'll do if she dies, probably kill myself.

My mom is raising my two youngest nephews because my sister in law and maybe my brother did not want to take the responsibility. While my mom was in surgery, my sis in law said she hoped my mom died on the operating table so she could get income tax money from the kids. She also said she'd have the older one who she doesn't like put in a mental hospital and keep him there as long as possible. She then started talking trash about him. She previously wished my brother/her husband would die so she could collect the life insurance money. She also said at the hospital that she would take my two nephews and run off with them so that no one would ever see them again. When my mom found out what she said, her blood pressure jumped from near normal up to 185/120 and heart rate from 90 to 140. My sister told security at the hospital what she said about our mom and had her choose to leave the area immediately or get arrested.

I strongly dislike that bitch. Wishing someone on the operating table dead is about as low as you can go without physical violence.

My mom was originally given a 30% chance of survival. I hope it turns out to be scar tissue and the cancer never comes back, but I fear that it is cancer. I should know around Wednesday. I know I'll just give up on life if she dies in the next few years. I'd trade places with her if I could.

 

[Oystereatingcrabs]

wow man im sorry to hear you have a fucked up sister-in-law like that. I would wait until your mom is able to function again and can work out some legal documents to MAKE SURE that shit doesnt happen. Once again im sorry to hear that you had to go through that bullshit, I myself would have wanted to strangle her there. Talk to some lawyers about it though and get it all straightened out. Hopefully they can work whoever necessary through procedures so if you're mom were to ever pass away the sister-in-law will be left with nothing.

 

[ghostfreak]

My mum had her first test in a mobile treatment unit and it picked up something so she went up for tests - ended up they had to cut something out and send off to the lab to determine what it is so I'll not know till Tuesday.

Really hard to deal with at the moment but I'm trying to think positive but it's hard.

I'm sorry to hear about your sister-in-law but your mum is more important so try and focus on her and hopefully everything will turn out fine for both of us.

 

[PillPoppingAnimal]

everone dies bro, but if it does happen, make the best of it...time heels all wounds, especially when a loved one passes...just gotta they were alive and thats what u should be grateful for

 

[brooklynbuRniNg5]

yeah man :/ death is without a doubt one of the hardest things to get over but in no way is it impossible, you just gotta fight through it just like your mom is right now

she wants the best for you just like you do for her

and fuck that other bitch dude, she needs to be out of the picture!

 

[purple_cloud]

T*D, this brought a tear to my eye...December 3rd will be three years since I lost my mom to cancer when I was only 20 years old, and it still hurts everyday. I also thought I'd kill myself if it happened, but I didn't...that's not what she'd want of you. I really hope everything moves in a positive direction, just be supportive and try to treasure the good times that you are still able to have with her. I didn't understand that when my mom was dying but now, it's what I do have.

PM me if you want to talk further about this at any time...

 

[James Skankton]

TD, i been there sir and i hope it works out for you, i know all to well the feeling. Keep your head up, your sister in law sounds like a real peice of trash. I really hope your mom makes out okay, she sounds like a real fighter.

My mom was diagnosed with stage 3 liver cancer which started in her colon in 2006 ( she rarely had one drink a week and didnt smoke/ ever do drugs) , a week before my 21st birthday. She battled through about 50 rounds of chemo over a 3 years and died april 09. everyday it hurts.

Good luck my friend

 

[Help me please]

Wow. I am so sorry about the remarks made by that person. What a horrific human beng she is! I pray your mom is okay I just had a cancer scare which turned out to be nothing at all. I felt a lump which seems to have either been my imagination or something because it was gone and they did the mamo and also an ultrasound and couldn't find a thing!

Sweetie if your mom is sick again and something should happen...think of those kids she is raising because you may need to step up and be there for them. It's natural for our parents to die first. Losing a child before we go is the shit that tortures our souls every day we survive

My best to you and your family.

 

[ferrita]

all I can tell you is what the dr told me. to roll with the punches. In the meantime, Lets pray she beats this thing called cancer eh?

 

[ferrita]

Hey I lost part of my post. fucked up. The bitch that made those comments has some serious lessons to learn. And she will indeed learn them.

I took care of my mother for 14 years, I went to college full timel I Worked full time and I was a single mom with two kids. I bought a four bedroom home and gave her the master bedroom. People asked me why I would do that, because shes my mom!

I got a bad disease and had had to have half my left breast removed and 4 days later she passed. My brother and sister didnt even come back for her death.
That s okay they will live with the guilt. Not me.

I do not for a minute regret taking care of her. Not a minute. Its been 10 years and I still miss the fuck out of her. While time may heal some things. It has helped but man iI still cry when I miss her. Like the drs told me, roll with the punches.

 

[purple_cloud]

time heels all wounds, especially when a loved one passes...

I disagree with this very, very much...I'm assuming you haven't suffered such a loss as a couple of us in here have (which is a good thing, wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy). The wounds never ever heal, you just learn how to live with how much it hurts and learn to be able to think about the good times without crying your eyes out. The wound is never fixed, you just learn to live with it better.

 

[PillPoppingAnimal]

yeah true

i know it will hurt but what you said, you learn to live wit it....

 

[dankstersauce]

I know I've learned to live with my dad's death, it'll creep up on me every once in a while but its not overwhelming and hasn't been for about a year (he died 3 years ago)

To the OP: Stay positive the best you can, even if it is cancer there are treatment options. Just try to enjoy all the time you can with her without being too dramatic and stressful. Let her know you're there for her and just try to visit or call just because.

And while death is so painful just be glad that you have had this wake up call. Absolutely worst case scenario at least you'll get X number of months/years to spend time together. Like my dad just died without any warning.

And I know how it is, my mom has breast cancer and seems to be doing ok at the moment. I'm just trying to be the best son I can be (get/stay sober and finish uni) and remember the good times. Its hard to do but feeling all crappy doesn't really help anyone.

 

[Tryptamine*Dreamer]

The doctor called and said there was some cancer, but they think it was all removed. She is going back to the doctor next week to find out what treatment option is best. I assume she'll be on chemo again to get any micro metastases that may be too small to have been picked up by the original scan.

I know that survival chances are typically smaller when cancer comes back, but maybe they got it all and it won't recur. That is what I am hoping.

 

[cj]

Hope for the best prepare for the worst my friend. Make sure her final months are magical and filled with love. If it is cancer I recomend traveling the first week possible to somewhere she loves/ really wants to go cause once the cancer takes hold she will be to sick. Now hopefully its just a scare if I was religouse I would pray for her shit I might anyway but at the least im sending good vibes.

 

[Lolie]

The doctor called and said there was some cancer, but they think it was all removed. She is going back to the doctor next week to find out what treatment option is best. I assume she'll be on chemo again to get any micro metastases that may be too small to have been picked up by the original scan.

I know that survival chances are typically smaller when cancer comes back, but maybe they got it all and it won't recur. That is what I am hoping.

With breast cancer a lot depends on the location of secondary tumors and how aggressive they are. It can return multiple times without metastasising to a location where it's essentially untreatable. It's one of those cancers which has a high chance of returning eventually but many women live for a decade or more with it returning periodically.

 

[Tryptamine*Dreamer]

Hope for the best prepare for the worst my friend. Make sure her final months are magical and filled with love. If it is cancer I recomend traveling the first week possible to somewhere she loves/ really wants to go cause once the cancer takes hold she will be to sick. Now hopefully its just a scare if I was religouse I would pray for her shit I might anyway but at the least im sending good vibes.

I regularly let her know how much I love her, even though I find it very difficult to express my feelings without the help of psychedelics or large doses of opiates. I don't think she is down to her final months just quite yet, but she could be if it spreads to a vital area

She already has plans to travel to the mountains and go to the caves in Southeast Oklahoma. There are places further away she'd like to go, if only we had the money to afford it.

I'm not sure about the existence of God(s), but I do pray because it might help. If a god or gods are out there, maybe they will do something for her.

With breast cancer a lot depends on the location of secondary tumors and how aggressive they are. It can return multiple times without metastasising to a location where it's essentially untreatable. It's one of those cancers which has a high chance of returning eventually but many women live for a decade or more with it returning periodically.

Her original tumor was an aggressive type. I'm hoping that there are no micro-metastases that weren't seen on the scan and that all of the cancer was removed like the doctor thinks. I really hope it never comes back anywhere else, but there is a high chance that it will. If it does come back I hope and pray that it is completely removed and that she does live another 10+ years.

I would at least like her to live to see me make something out of my life because she has such high hopes that I will be successful at what I want to do when I finish college, and hopefully see my youngest brother(2yr older than me) stay out of prison and hopefully get some kind of education. I know she is saddened when she thinks about how he's been in prison nearly his whole adult life. I would love for her to see my two youngest nephews she is(and to some extent, I am) raising grow up and go to college as she wants them to.

 

[Tryptamine*Dreamer]

Another update - It is not breast cancer or a metastasis from her breast cancer. It is a completely different type of cancer, a type of lung cancer. It is in stage 3.

The doctor said she had a good chance of being cured as it is in early stage 3. They probably are going to treat it with just radiation, but she has to have 70 treatments.

This is better than if it had been a metastasis of the breast cancer, as the chance of survival from metastatic breast cancer would have been less likely to be cured. They think it developed from scar tissue from when she had pneumonia when she was a baby. She nearly died from that pneumonia, my grandmother told her about it when she got older, how the doctors thought it was a hopeless case and didn't even treat her for it as a result.

Things are not as bleak as I thought, it seems. I don't know what the typical survival rate is for someone with her condition and the doctor just said it was a good chance. I take that to mean at least a 50% chance but I don't know what the doctor's idea of a good chance is.

I'll post again if she is given a more exact prognosis.