My life kinda rides on this.

[RoyalWalrus]

Okay, I know SSRI interactions have been relentlessly discussed, but no posted material has really helped me. I've had suicidal ideations every day for about the last 3 years, and have been on 40mg Lexapro for 6 months now for severe depression and OCD. I am entirely sure I have never experienced happiness in my life to any significant extent. I tried to roll a few months ago without having done any research, and was unaware that I would not experience any effects from the MDMA. All my entirely non-depressed friends rant and rave about Molly, and it's eating away at me. I have quit Lexapro cold turkey for 3 days now because they have done nothing helpful for me besides a reduction in compulsions with a whole myriad of side effects. I have read that for some, even being off Lexapro for more than a month has not brought back their ability to roll well. I just want to know what happiness feels like, on any level, and I don't care if it's chemically induced. Should I even bother looking forward to a future roll, considering my very high Lexapro dosage? Because I'm at a loss, and I know SSRI withdrawal will probably make suicidal desires all the more intense. I just want to know if there's any hope for a good roll in the future, or if I'm being stupid for wanting to experience MDMA so badly when I can't even enjoy any aspect of my sober life. Is that not the key to actual happiness? I'm at an utter loss.

 

[Folley]

MDMA may make you feel good.. until you comedown then your depression will be 10 times worse. Coming off your SSRI like that isn't exactly a good idea either, not in the least. If it's not helping you go to the doctor and tell him that, it would seem it's time to switch medication.


Really though, don't stop taking your meds just to get high. It's not going to help anything, and can hurt quite a bit.

 

[RoyalWalrus]

Thank you for the response. Although I am not detoxing just to get high, it's hard not to see it as a huge potential plus. But you are right, I should wean off more slowly, and rolling would deplete my serotonin even further. But yeah, response much appreciated.

 

[Dawglaw]

Search around for compassionate therapists that are open to MDMA therapy. While it is still taboo society is becoming more enlightened.

I wouldn't go off your meds without medical supervision though.

 

[JWills20]

MDMA is really only a short-term fix. If you used it properly then perhaps you could have longer benefits, but that would have be carefully designed.