my first loves' pain...distraught poetry

[BoOoOoM]

wrote this after my girl left me

seems like the only outlet:
For all the sleepless nights
I spent dreaming of you.
For all the the lonely mornings
I had to wake up to.
For all the calls i'll never get
of you reminding me not to forget.
For all the shit i had to hear
about who to love and who to fear.
For what i've lost and what you've gained
and everything else that couldn't be saved
For all that ive become..
and what i wanted to be
For all the silent anger
that gnaws its claws at me
for all the masks i had to wear...to hide my failure and despair....i'll never regret my love for you
------------
Pierce this screen
Recognize what ive been
understand what i said and what ive seen
the truth doesn't hurt...
only painless death muffles my screams.
Push it back
refuse to believe
deny the truth and hide your need.
Numb my soul
do it now
numb my soul
then take a bow
exit left and leave me alone
to play the role you've never known.
Then deafen my ears with your soothing silence
and fool my soul with useless kindness.
[This message has been edited by BoOoOoM (edited 14 August 2000).]

 

[CARESS]

I praise the product of your "only outlet". Sometimes, we find that only in the written word can we release things too painful to speak of.
"Numb my soul
do it now
numb my soul
then take a bow"
In my opinion, these are not the words of a soul truly numb. For if you were, could you create this thing of painful beauty? I strikes me more as an understandable plea for the pain to cease.
I wish you every happiness...and here's to hoping you feel stronger. Even if sometimes it seems to be only micro-bits per day.
Thank you for sharing your pain. I gladly received it and view it as a thing of beauty.
Caress

 

[BoOoOoM]

Thanks caress...i appreciate what u said..its been hard but i know i came out of all this a stronger person in every way.