Miss.oxymoron
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2015
- Messages
- 2
I'm 25 years old. I fell in love with a guy I went to high school with who was 3 years younger than me. I had a crush on him in high school and apparently so did he. He messaged me on Instagram 2 years ago and from that day we instantly clicked. We FaceTimed for hours like 6+ hours a day, talked on the phone at any chance, and texted constantly. He lived two states over from me. I fell in love. I planned to go visit him With my two best friends. He began lying, ignoring phone calls, and being distant. I became really sad and during one FaceTime I told him a secret I had never told anyone. I was molested for many years by a family member and I told him who it was. previously he had told me before he had a prescription pain medicine problem. But this time he told me he used heroin. He told me he only smoked it beFore and was afraid to lose me. Then he showed me that he started injecting. He showed me a bag full of syringes. He put the phone down and used while i waited. He begged me not to leave him and that he wanted to change. I loved him so much I promised him I wouldn't. And from that day we became boyfriend and girlfriend. He told me he would get clean and that that was the last time. I went to Washington and spent the most beautiful time with him. Leaving him 3 days later was one of the hardest things in my life. A few weeks later he came to visit me. He was pale shaker and had a horrible cough like he was dying. It lasted the entire time. I was so worried I tried to give him pep to bismal or Tylenol to help with his pain. The last days he seemed better. We had an amazing time together. It was the first time I had ever had someone sleep over in my home. He went home and seemed different He continued being different selling what I thought was only weed and growing mushrooms he was arguing a lot with his brother who had moved in and brought his gf. I begged him to move in with me and my family. I told him it would be better and we could figure it out. He drove over 20 hours to come live with me. He left in the middle of the night his apartment he had a lease for like 9 more months and a lot of his stuff. He came smelled horrible like I can't even explain. I made him jump in the shower and the same thing as the first time he visited happened. I asked him if he had used and he said no. So naive never having used drugs besides marijuana three times I believed him. He told me because he was no longer using but that the effects wouldn't go away if he didn't get medicine to help his detoxing. So uneducated in drugs I believed him and the dr started him on suboxone. We went to his parents who he didn't have a relationship with. I pressured him to try because it made him so sad. His mom doesn't like me thinks I do the same stuff he did. I tell her I never have and never will that I love him. And that I'm not like people he associated with before. We keep going but it always ends bad with them. His mom starts hanging with his ex and it hurts him so much. She doesn't wanna be seen in public with him. She wouldn't even take a picture with him. He had to beg her. We end up arguing over him and the ex hanging out but besides that me and him are great. It started off amazing the greatest time of my life.he got a job as a CNA and I was working fast food but full time. He got fired from his job a few months later. He started getting unemployment and taking me to work and picking me up. One day my dad told him not to go through the back of the house to use the front door. My boyfriend was so upset and I never understood why? I end up going to school for CNA in a town 2 hours awayhe takes me 4 hours there everyday and waits in the car from 8-2 since we could not afford gas. He gets a job at a prison. He gets fired. Then he tells me he got beat up and his wallet stolen. He goes to the hospital gets stitches then a day later tells me he was fired from his job. He tells me he is going to a religious rehab to get off his suboxone. He goes and I agreed to wait months or years for him but leaves two days later. We agree to taper his suboxone down. He then Goes to the doctor and finds out he has hep c. I told him no matter what we would always be together. He tells me That I might also have it. I get tested and have something wrong with my liver. However after more tests it is only inflamed due to possible medication. I finish school. And he gets a job in a new city that my family is moving too. We all love in together again. Everything seems to be going well. And then he seems different his eyes changed. He seemed out of it and high all the time I ask and he says it's his anxiety medicine and pain medicine. I believe him but in the back of my mind question him. He is now taking 1/4- 1/2 of a suboxone strip a day. I'm so in love with him but the lies are too much. We get into LVN school. One day my parents go out of town. He seems off. I go into his car while he's showering. I knew what I was going to find. And I found syringes and foil with black residue. He runs out pants inside out and sees me crying. I start screaming and yelling hysterically. He calms me down and I go inside. I check his suitcase he brought and find a spoon and a syringe inside our home. I start throwing everything and start going crazy. He tells me it's only pills(do pills leave black residue?) he says he just wanted it to act faster. he agrees to stop taking them that way. I throw all his pills away. Except the anxiety and pain for his back. He talks to his parents and it ends horrible. They cuss him out and say they want nothing to do with him. They don't even want a phone call when he dies. He gets fired from his job. My parents ask for $300 dollars rent. He all of the sudden get so upset and wants to move back to Washington. I tell him it's not that big of a deal but he gets so hurt. He tells me he is leaving. I beg him not to. It's a back and forth for days. His brother says it's a good idea that my house is "negative"and that he is "successful" and can help him. It's bullshit though. My parents are great my family is wonderful. He decides to leave and I get fed up because he told me he'd never leave me I tell my parents he's leaving and they make him pack. He stays calm packs and goes. Before he leaves we say a prayer together and I tell him I love him but am so angry. We break up. He doesn't have a phone and leaves we share the most beautiful kiss before he leaves though. I cry and cry. The next day I call his brothers God and she makes me feel like I'm the wrong one. Like I'm living a bad life and that my family is in the wrong. That there is nothing wrong with him and that he doesn't need to change. All they do is smoke weed all day long and get money from the VA. I worry about him and ask him to take me back he agrees. I tell him the only way we can be together is if he gets off everything pain medicine anxiety medicine everything. He agrees with the help of his brother and brothers gf. I ask them to watch him like a hawk. I go visit him a week later and he looks so great. Healthy happy. And with a clear mind. He apologizes. We talk about the future and starting a family. He tells me it was the best weekend of his life. I say the same. I agree to finish school and he agrees to support me through it. The I agree to marry him when I finish and put him through any school he wants. We made love like never before, we were connected like never before and share the best kiss I've ever had. The next day I start LVN school. I go home call him and he sounds so out of it. I get upset. But still tell him about my day. The next day he calls me and asks about my day I tell him I already told him. He says he took a sleeping pill and forgot. I'm so angry and I tell him he has to help me not make it harder for me. He tells me his brother is gonna go to LA. He says he will be good and not do bad things. I say I don't forgive him but I will when he treats me better. He says he will. i tel him I'll call him at lunch.and that I love him. We hang up. He calls back just to tell me he loves me to be the best LVN I can be and to do good in school. He texts me love you then me too. I go to lunch and don't call him til after class. I call and call but nothing. The next day he brother calls and says he just got home and that he died. My heart is broken and I don't know how to handle this. Why would u leave someone alone who is withdrawing.!!!? I'm angry at everything and I blame everyone especially his family. I'm so lost without him and don't know how to live without him. His family has all his stuff don't wanna give me anything. Changed funeral locations and didn't inform me. I'm finding everything out from his friends. We lived together for more than we were apart. It's hard to not being even acknowledged. I was the love of his life. He had always told me if anything happened to him that he would want me to keep everything. And that I would be his number one priority. They aren't respecting me. I just want his clothing before it loses its smell. But to them I'm no one. And it's so difficult to lose the love of your life and be treated like a nobody. I miss him and wish I could have changed everything.
