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My boyfriend is stingy...

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Ladyfiend

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 27, 2013
Messages
68
Location
Melbourne
My boyfriend is a real tight ass with his money. It gives me the shits! He earns more than me, but seemingly hates having to spend any money on me. For instance, if he's going down the shops and I ask him to get me some cigarettes but have no cash on me, he seems annoyed that he has to pay. Yet I'm constantly forking out for things for him. We live together and I buy the majority of the dinners, and often when we go and do shit together, I'm the first to open my wallet. He jokes about how tight he is and I laugh along, but I'm getting sick of it. I recently got a decent tax return so he asked me to buy him a pair of $300 jeans. Of course I will, but fuck.. He would never do that for me. Is there any point trying to change a cheapskate?
 
Ladyfiend said:
Is there any point trying to change a cheapskate?
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That's something you have to really ask yourself. Are you willing to put in the time an effort to try and change him? It sounds like he was probably like this from the beginning of the relationship so, IMO it's not fair to ask him to change. But, I certainly would never put up with someone using me. If it were me the relationship would have never progressed to living together. I probably would have dumped him within a few weeks. Just my opinion though.
 
deny him sex until he buys you shit, my gf did the same shit and after a week of no sex i started to treat her like fucking royalty. she had me by the balls man
 
Hi SugarMomma Ladyfiend

You probably can't change him but you should at least call him out on it & make sure he stumps up his fair share.

Otherwise resentment builds on one side and contempt on the other.

Also, $300 jeans what the hell, is that a birthday present?
 
I've never known frugal-types to change their ways. This is how they are able to save while nickel and diming others, loved ones included. Don't take it personally and since you're living together, talk about your finances. Start being thrifty yourself by not buying him those expensive jeans that he won't spend cash on himself. When you go out, don't carry more money around than you plan to spend. Communication is key so resentment won't build any further.

My ex was like this and going grocery shopping was a two hour ordeal every time. Between scrutinizing sales, different brands and endless coupons we really did save some money. But air conditioning should not be negotiable, this is Florida and it drove me nuts sweating my ass off to have a cheaper electric bill. Finding a middle ground is essential and will save you a lot of aggravation later.
 
Ladyfiend said:
I recently got a decent tax return so he asked me to buy him a pair of $300 jeans. Of course I will, but fuck.. He would never do that for me. Is there any point trying to change a cheapskate?
Click to expand...

your pissed off but you still do it? have some self respect!

he treats you like an idiot and you let him. more fool you

if i don't like how some treats me instead of letting them do it or trying to change them i go and find people i like with values similar to mine. otherwise i'm wasting my life hanging around with assholes

how did you let it get this bad that he can abuse you financially and then thinks its cute? WTF!!!!! urggggh unattractive qualities overload
 
I would not buy him jeans with my tax return.
My boyfriend earns more than me as well. We live together and try to split things equally. He's tighter with money than I am. BUT - he buys his own clothes, etc. That's not something you ask your girlfriend to do. I mean, there are gifts, but that is different. Also, when we go out (which is rare), we split things. He pays one time, I pay the next time. He will often complain about the money but eh he gets over it.

There is a huge difference between being cheap and using someone.
 
Ladyfiend said:
Is there any point trying to change a cheapskate?
Click to expand...

No. You could marry him and likely live fairly comfortably as cheapskates eventually invest in good shit like nice houses, but all I can say is the cheapskates I've known have tended to look also at women in terms of value moreso than as people. TBH, even without knowing the whole story, "$300 jeans" is enough to earn anyone the douchebag label.
 
llama112 said:
I would not buy him jeans with my tax return.
My boyfriend earns more than me as well. We live together and try to split things equally. He's tighter with money than I am. BUT - he buys his own clothes, etc. That's not something you ask your girlfriend to do. I mean, there are gifts, but that is different. Also, when we go out (which is rare), we split things. He pays one time, I pay the next time. He will often complain about the money but eh he gets over it.

There is a huge difference between being cheap and using someone.
Click to expand...
Yep, he totally taking advantage of you. If he's cheap, he wouldn't want to waste his money nor yours. Who the fuck asks someone to buy them $300 for no reason (tax refund isn't a reason)? Don't buy the jeans; put your foot down. You're not a doormat he can walk all around. Tell him that you're tight on money. Go grocery shopping by yourself and only buy items that YOU want.
 
i used to be the stingy one in my relationship. you should just tell him hes stingy and that its not a very nice quality. pretty soon hell realise that being generous will feel better and its ok to let go of the anxiety he has about money.
 
Ladyfiend said:
My boyfriend is a real tight ass with his money. It gives me the shits! He earns more than me, but seemingly hates having to spend any money on me. For instance, if he's going down the shops and I ask him to get me some cigarettes but have no cash on me, he seems annoyed that he has to pay. Yet I'm constantly forking out for things for him. We live together and I buy the majority of the dinners, and often when we go and do shit together, I'm the first to open my wallet. He jokes about how tight he is and I laugh along, but I'm getting sick of it. I recently got a decent tax return so he asked me to buy him a pair of $300 jeans. Of course I will, but fuck.. He would never do that for me. Is there any point trying to change a cheapskate?
Click to expand...

Does he pay rent?

Being stingy is not cool.
However, I think the tendency is to overreact.
If you just met the guy, and were unsure of a relationship, this could be a deal-breaker. That isn't the case. You are in a relationship with the guy, and for some time now. Maybe it's worth trying to come to a more acceptable compromise, than to just end the relationship for this reason alone.
At any rate, you know the situation best.
 
OP, it will be hard; but save yourself.
consider everything at stake and what your SO is willing to sacrifice and make up your own mind (debating jeans while youre questioning your relationship as a whole).
its a challenging situation and one that seems menial but over time will remain in your subconscious.
as much as you love him, only you can decide what you want from this relationship and will take the steps to accomplish a profitable outcome for both parties.
in agreeance with the majority, please dont use your tax return to satisfy his material needs. it wont benefit anyone.

take care of you first and foremost. monkey see, monkey do.

...kytnism...:|
 
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