Recovery Modafinil recovery. How long?

[Blackbeansunchips]

Hello everyone,

I have previously used Modafinil/armodafinil on a daily basis for the past 5 years. Some days I would use half a pill to 2-3 pills but mostly it was one pill a day.

It's been nearly 6.5 months since I have cold turkey and I still feel as if I am going through some sort of withdrawal.

At first I initially thought there wasn't any withdrawal at all besides extreme fatigue and exhaustion because that pretty much what others have claimed.

What I found out is that the withdrawals are very similar to adderall/cocaine but without the cravings involved. Which make sense given that it's known to not be an addictive substance.

I have felt extreme anxiety, depression, hopelessness, panic attacks, mood swings, fatigue, exhaustion, shame, etc.

I have also encountered some physical symptoms as well such as my visions randomly flickering black for a few milliseconds multiple times a day. And no, I am not blinking when this happens.

I know for a fact this is not in my head and this is caused by the continuous use of Modafinil because I have never felt like this in my life besides times where I would go through a stimulant withdrawal.

I have lost my job and I moved back in with my parents because every single thing seemed overwhelming for me. Even packing up the boxes to move out was extremely exhausting for me.

Fortunately I started to gradually improve in these symptoms last month. My long term memory is coming back(i didn't even realized it was so negatively affected.)

I woke up from a delusion of granduer. Not sure if Modafinil caused it but it definitely exaggerated it. The delusion has ceased since I have stopped Modafinil.

My awareness seemed to have slowly returned as I now realized I have sabotaged every single social relationship I've had gradually since I have started Modafinil. (I didn't even realize this until the very tail end of my usage).

This might be a unpopular take but I have to say that taking Modafinil is one of the biggest regrets in my life.

With all that being said, I am extremely concern about what sort of permenant damage I've done to my neurotransmitters as it's clear they have been severely affected given the state I've been in the past 6.5 months.

Does anybody know or went through the same? I ask because I cannot seem to find any sort of answer or information on this because little is understood about Modafinil and it has a reputation of being a safe and better alternative to adderall. I want to believe the withdrawal time-line and effects would be similar to adderall but they don't function exactly the same to justify this reasoning. I'm reading that Modafinil is more so similar to cocaine but in a lighter form.

Thanks

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

I would consider if it could be possible it has triggered some sort of condition (bipolar, endocrinologic issue)
That would make sense if I use my logic with unadequate intel about modafinil. I have read about it only so little and used it once-which caused so strong histaminergic rash that I have not returned to it.

 

[Blackbeansunchips]

I would consider if it could be possible it has triggered some sort of condition (bipolar, endocrinologic issue)
That would make sense if I use my logic with unadequate intel about modafinil. I have read about it only so little and used it once-which caused so strong histaminergic rash that I have not returned to it.

You might be right. Bipolar is in my family genetics. I have never been officially diagnosed.

Yeah I have heard of about that side effect. Its really dangerous and I am glad to hear it didn't do any serious harm to you.
Thanks for your reply

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

I had several serious hypomanic and borderline manic episodes during short time-span, tripping balls pupils wide totally sober (I guess that's not hypomanic anymore) and not sleeping without antipsychotics on the tail end of my very concerning amphetamine abuse disorder episode and for a short while after I quit and then I felt like a shit for some months.
It was almost 3 years ago and I have not had single hypomanic episode since. Pretty much depression but it is so complex mess that I can not really figure what was caused by what reliably.
I wish you figure it out.

 

[Blackbeansunchips]

I had several serious hypomanic and borderline manic episodes during short time-span, tripping balls pupils wide totally sober (I guess that's not hypomanic anymore) and not sleeping without antipsychotics on the tail end of my very concerning amphetamine abuse disorder episode and for a short while after I quit and then I felt like a shit for some months.
It was almost 3 years ago and I have not had single hypomanic episode since. Pretty much depression but it is so complex mess that I can not really figure what was caused by what reliably.
I wish you figure it out.

Wow I am sorry that you went through such an scary and stressful experience. I have also abused amphetamines before my dependence with Modafinil. I'm glad to hear that you have gotten better from it and haven't experienced it since. I think I may be in a similar situation that you were in and I will also not touch stimulant of any kind besides caffeine due to it. Very traumatizing indeed. Thank you for sharing your experience, insights, and kind words.

Peace and love

 

[Skorpio]

I'm reading that Modafinil is more so similar to cocaine but in a lighter form.

It's mechanism is similar (dopamine reuptake inhibition; and it definately isn't a typical inhibitor, compare it to desoxypiperadol or other more typical long lasting DRIs), but the duration is long (like adderall) which really factors into the profile of addiction. One way or another though you have lived a half decade with increased dopamine.

Addictions take a long time to abate, and leave you pretty much forever vulnerable to other addictions (the brain loses pathways way quicker than it gains them, and unfortunately dopamine is a cue for significance, so addictions are more fundamentally written than other memories), but given enough time these pathways can be replaced by non-intensified ones from life. It's not an easy process, but it is overcomable. Focus on exercise and hobbies where you make progress and enjoy that and focus on building supportive relationships, as drugs allow us to isolate ourselves as lonlieness becomes overshadowed by the euphoria.

It's hard work but you will feel better sober — it just takes an excruciating amount of time.