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Missing my ex

A

ArtVandalay

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 3, 2008
Messages
710
I am in a relationship. Been 8 months. We have a lot in common, get along well, have good sex. And yet I still miss my ex. We lived together for six years. I still feel like she is the one. I want to contact her and catch up. Problem is, the last she saw of me I was in a psychotic state from drug use and did some shameful things. Anyway, I keep finding myself comparing my current gf to my ex. I just don't feel satisfied. Is this a case of the grass is greener?
 
Grass is greener? Maybe. I remember, and romanticize, the happy times in the relationship with my ex. We broke up in August 2012-so its been about 10 months for us. We lived together for 7 years. I still feel like she is the one also, but we were always always fighting about my drug use and basically everything that we could fight about. I fucked up alot but she also treated me very cruelly a lot of the time. She was controlling and was always using the upper hand to put me down since I was a junkie of all kinds and very unreliable. I was very resentful about her using me while putting me down. The last time we saw each other was when I left our adopted city very strung out and hopelessly sick. I miss her every day, but the last time she called me-10 days ago- she was upset about some things she learned about and vowed to never speak to me again. She said I might as well die.

I do know that every girl I meet is definitely not up to my caliber, and I definitely put my ex up on a pedestal. I haven't dealt with the breakup well as slid deeply into alcoholism. I talk and think about her all the time...90 percent of my posts have dealt with her. I can say that it may get easier, I hope, for you. Contact her. At least you'll know where you stand.
 
My ex of 2 years broke up with me earlier this year on our 2 year anniversary. I've since learned that there are better things on the horizon. There isn't a day where I don't think of her for at least a few seconds, but we just have to keep our chin up and get over it. It sucks, but what else are you going to do?
 
alexvolume2 said:
Grass is greener? Maybe. I remember, and romanticize, the happy times in the relationship with my ex. We broke up in August 2012-so its been about 10 months for us. We lived together for 7 years. I still feel like she is the one also, but we were always always fighting about my drug use and basically everything that we could fight about. I fucked up alot but she also treated me very cruelly a lot of the time. She was controlling and was always using the upper hand to put me down since I was a junkie of all kinds and very unreliable. I was very resentful about her using me while putting me down. The last time we saw each other was when I left our adopted city very strung out and hopelessly sick. I miss her every day, but the last time she called me-10 days ago- she was upset about some things she learned about and vowed to never speak to me again. She said I might as well die.

I do know that every girl I meet is definitely not up to my caliber, and I definitely put my ex up on a pedestal. I haven't dealt with the breakup well as slid deeply into alcoholism. I talk and think about her all the time...90 percent of my posts have dealt with her. I can say that it may get easier, I hope, for you. Contact her. At least you'll know where you stand.
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This is probably bad advice by some people's standards but it helps me.

I take the need that comes from my ex and throw it at some one else. Rebounding. It'll sure make you feel better temporarily.

also. Sometimes I believe thst the more we are used, the more we develop an emotional attachment. The ups seem better by comparison.
 
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It might not be a grass is always greener scenario. It might be a "better the devil you do know than the devil you don't" scenario.
 
Thanks for all the advice bluelighters. I am on vacation with her now and we're having fun. But part of me wants to break it off when we get home. How fucked up is that? Maybe I just can't handle a healthy relationship?
 
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