mangopiano
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2014
- Messages
- 1
First, everything I'm saying here is how I honestly feel. I know that I should trust my girlfriend, and I absolutely do, but I'm having doubts about myself. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 3 months after being very close friends for almost 3 years. Every aspect of our relationship is wonderful, but the sexual aspect has lately become confusing, and I'm not really sure how to handle it. We have always communicated very well, and when we started dating, we talked about sex. She was thrilled with my enthusiasm for cunnilingus, as her previous relationships had been lacking in that department. She had expressed how much she loved receiving it. When we had our first night together, I made sure to focus on that element. She seemed very satisfied, and even said so afterwards. However, I could not tell if she had actually came or not. I talked to her about it, and she said hesitantly that she had, but ultimately she doesn't care about orgasm as much and that was not important to her. This was the first confusing thing, as prior to this, it had seemed like due to her enthusiasm for receiving oral that something like not caring about orgasm would not be the case. I feared that perhaps I had not satisfied her and she was trying to spare my feelings, as I have previously had issues with self-doubt, especially in the bedroom. I brought it up again later and while she reassured me she was happy, I still had the feeling that maybe I wasn't doing very well and she was again trying to spare my feelings. From there she seemed hesitant to want to talk about it, and I have been afraid to bring it up since for fear of being bothersome, even though I have not really had a resolution of my doubt. Another element that contributes to this general unease is that she generally does not initiate sex, I am the one who does. When I do, she does not decline, and generally seems to be enjoying it, but the fact that she does not ever initiate it is somewhat troubling. That is coupled with the fact that she told me in her previous relationships, her SO's stopped having sex with her after 6 months or so, which presumably leads me to believe that she had been one to at least express interest in having sex. The most troubling part of all of this is that she has told me multiple times that she just doesn't really care about sex that much, but things she has said with regard to sex previously have been contradictory to that statement, which leaves me feeling confused and self-doubtful. I'm looking for some outside perspective by anyone who may be able to shed light on my situation, or provide advice for how I should go about dealing with what I'm feeling. Thanks for reading.
