KillKatrina
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2015
- Messages
- 4
I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder in 2011, at the age of 14, and have been medicated (unsuccessfully) on and off for the past four years. I am currently not medicated but my doctor is pushing to start a new medication. However, I have recently been having serious doubts about the diagnosis being correct and am, thus, hesitant to begin taking another antipsychotic or antidepressant. I'm hoping to get outside, unbiased opinions on the validity of the diagnosis.
Mayo clinic defines schizoaffective disorder as:
"Schizoaffective disorder is a condition in which a person experiences a combination of schizophrenia symptoms — such as hallucinations or delusions — and mood disorder symptoms, such as mania or depression"
And lists the symptoms as:
"Delusions — having false, fixed beliefs
Hallucinations, such as hearing voices
Major depressed mood episodes
Possible periods of manic mood or a sudden increase in energy and behavioral displays that are out of character
Impaired occupational and social functioning
Problems with cleanliness and physical appearance
Paranoid thoughts and ideas"
While I do identify with the description they used (Basically a combination of symptoms of Bipolar disorder and Schizophrenia), the symptoms they listed are significantly different to the ones I experience.
I do not, nor have I ever, experience(d) hallucinations while not under the influence. I do not, nor have I ever, notice(d) a sudden increase in energy for no reason. My doctor agrees that I don't exhibit paranoid behavior, nor do I have any problems with my hygiene or physical appearance. I was diagnosed because I do not feel emotions appropriate to the situation I'm reacting to.
Most times, my mind produces practical thoughts, often questions, in response to new information but I do not experience emotions, "vibes", or opinions associated with whatever was introduced (Lack of emotion, a symptom of Scizophrenia). Less often, I do have an emotional response that is extreme, lasts longer than should be expected, and/or is not at all appropriate in the given situation (i.e. feeling guilt in response to a compliment). Usually when the latter occurs, my mood spirals into a depressive state that sometimes lasts up to 3 or 4 weeks ("cycling", a symptom of Bipolar disorder)
Most professionals I have spoken with agree that it is extremely uncommon for the symptoms to appear suddenly, and are usually noticed before age 10. This was not the case for me.
My symptoms began at the age of 13 and were (I believe) a direct result of a trigger event in my life.
About a year before I was diagnosed, my brother died due to an allergic reaction to a bee sting while we were travelling. We were on a highway with very little traffic, probably 45 minutes from the nearest town. When my mom realized what was happening, she called 911 and was instructed to pull over to perform CPR. By the time the ambulance reached us, there had been no pulse for almost 20 minutes, meaning I sat on the side of a vacant, unfamiliar highway while my mom went into hysterics and performed CPR on my dead brother.
I remember being confused and wanting to ask her a million questions, but I was just frozen. This is the only emotion I remember having. I didn't feel grief or fear or concern or anything that would be expected as a response to what was happening.
MY theory is that watching my mom experience and express so much intense emotion, added to all of MY emotions being blanketed by the extreme confusion, on top of the traumatic loss of my brother, caused me to lose the ability to react emotionally now. I think that the way my mind handled that trauma triggered the way my mind processes emotion now.
This being said, my doctor is convinced my symptoms are those of schizoaffective disorder. I've seen him for years now and definitely trust his knowledge of my history, as well as medicine. Thus, I am conflicted and am hoping to get unbiased, outside opinions.
Mayo clinic defines schizoaffective disorder as:
"Schizoaffective disorder is a condition in which a person experiences a combination of schizophrenia symptoms — such as hallucinations or delusions — and mood disorder symptoms, such as mania or depression"
And lists the symptoms as:
"Delusions — having false, fixed beliefs
Hallucinations, such as hearing voices
Major depressed mood episodes
Possible periods of manic mood or a sudden increase in energy and behavioral displays that are out of character
Impaired occupational and social functioning
Problems with cleanliness and physical appearance
Paranoid thoughts and ideas"
While I do identify with the description they used (Basically a combination of symptoms of Bipolar disorder and Schizophrenia), the symptoms they listed are significantly different to the ones I experience.
I do not, nor have I ever, experience(d) hallucinations while not under the influence. I do not, nor have I ever, notice(d) a sudden increase in energy for no reason. My doctor agrees that I don't exhibit paranoid behavior, nor do I have any problems with my hygiene or physical appearance. I was diagnosed because I do not feel emotions appropriate to the situation I'm reacting to.
Most times, my mind produces practical thoughts, often questions, in response to new information but I do not experience emotions, "vibes", or opinions associated with whatever was introduced (Lack of emotion, a symptom of Scizophrenia). Less often, I do have an emotional response that is extreme, lasts longer than should be expected, and/or is not at all appropriate in the given situation (i.e. feeling guilt in response to a compliment). Usually when the latter occurs, my mood spirals into a depressive state that sometimes lasts up to 3 or 4 weeks ("cycling", a symptom of Bipolar disorder)
Most professionals I have spoken with agree that it is extremely uncommon for the symptoms to appear suddenly, and are usually noticed before age 10. This was not the case for me.
My symptoms began at the age of 13 and were (I believe) a direct result of a trigger event in my life.
About a year before I was diagnosed, my brother died due to an allergic reaction to a bee sting while we were travelling. We were on a highway with very little traffic, probably 45 minutes from the nearest town. When my mom realized what was happening, she called 911 and was instructed to pull over to perform CPR. By the time the ambulance reached us, there had been no pulse for almost 20 minutes, meaning I sat on the side of a vacant, unfamiliar highway while my mom went into hysterics and performed CPR on my dead brother.
I remember being confused and wanting to ask her a million questions, but I was just frozen. This is the only emotion I remember having. I didn't feel grief or fear or concern or anything that would be expected as a response to what was happening.
MY theory is that watching my mom experience and express so much intense emotion, added to all of MY emotions being blanketed by the extreme confusion, on top of the traumatic loss of my brother, caused me to lose the ability to react emotionally now. I think that the way my mind handled that trauma triggered the way my mind processes emotion now.
This being said, my doctor is convinced my symptoms are those of schizoaffective disorder. I've seen him for years now and definitely trust his knowledge of my history, as well as medicine. Thus, I am conflicted and am hoping to get unbiased, outside opinions.
