Migraine. And my life cycle.

[Pyro]

I feel like a kid again
I am still the child
so it seems
sitting there
wide eyed
shaking
absorbing the vibrations around me
leaning forward
in attention
I hear
I focus to listen
I get so much of it
I ask when I am unclear
I can feel the mass flexing
inside the skull
And I want more
More!
I focus more intently
I work to understand every part
With wide open eyes
With a calm mind
Osmosis
Become me.
then there is a sting
the sting starts to vibrate
faster and faster is shocks
in the middle of my head, off to the right
I then try to focus
the pain makes my eyes shake
I lose my focus and thought
I become lost again inside that pain
the Light
It is too much
I attack the curtians
trying to hide from the Sun
All is dark, again
nothing exists
but that pain, again
hiding from everything
Pop the pill
"but I don't want to rely on chemicals for any reason - not even this"
fuck your pride
save yourself
pop the pill
it is your only escape
you are not strong enough yet
to fight it all alone
or maybe I never will be
but I am a fighter
so when I wake up
I start reading again
continue this cycle
at least for now
until my head is right
until I can fight on my own, and win
Tim

 

[satori18]

hrm...wow...thank you.
have not fully absorbed it yet but..thank you
be well*
peace-
------------------
***"without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible"f.zappa***
BE AN AGENT OF CHANGE
"one good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain"-marley
"there is a party in my mind, and i hope it never stops, there is a party up there allt he time, we are gonna party till we drop"d.byrne
***satori shalom***

 

[Zennie]

I sat down this weekend and watched Pi for the first time and thought of you. Seemingly now i'm once again reminded. Not that one can ever reach inside someone else's skull and fully experience what it is to have such incredible force and pain, I guess i'm one step closer to understanding.
Your writing is always true...in every sense of the word. Thank you.
And write me damnit. I miss you.
Susan