VersaSty1e
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2010
- Messages
- 3
Lonely and bored, with plenty of what I thought harmless Ritalin IR & SR on hand, and hearing it can get you high when snorted I took the dive and tried.
I didn't realize I was fast becoming addicted. In just a month I went from a couple pills, to taking them every hour for more up to 5 sleepless nights in a row.
Soon I was taking them to wake up, to feel normal. Symptoms of anxiety, OCD, and slight Bi-Polar traits started appearing in me. I took more.
One day I ran out.
Not realizing I was that addicted in just a month or knowing of the infamous pychological "crash" I was in for. I awoke thinking I'd just go about my day without it. Uh-oh. I felt like I couldn't breath, shortness of breath, pain in my chest, tired as all hell, with unimaginable anxiety and depression all at once.
Not knowing I was going through withdrawals I went to the doctor, he thought I was just having a bad stressed out day and just lay down.
I couldn't relax at all. I could barely even relax enough to go to the bathroom. I started panicking and went to ER. They took all my vital signs and sent me to the waiting room. Due to a paranoia of being around people I sat in the corner with my hands over my face, almost in tears.
Next day almost same feeling. Eventually figured out it might be due to stopping Ritalin. I took some. An hour later all better.
So I'm addicted. I was taking up to 30 a day, so I was addicted bad!
Told doctor. He tried to have me taper but I abused them. It's like I feel the need to take it every other minute no breaks. Afraid of the psychotic symptoms I was developing I called home detox and searched Bluelight.
Detox is starting me at 300mg a day, and tapering down 30mg a week. That will take 3months! I don't want to be on this "speed" that long! It's destroyed enough of my life and my fiance's about to leave me cuz I'm just not myself, she thinks I've gone crazy. I feel like it. I'm basically act like a "tweeker" on the stuff and it just makes me crave more.
I asked them to detox me faster, but they refused citing liability.
So I searched Bluelight for things to help with withdrawals. That and knowing what to expect I hope can get me through what I hear should only be 3 days for the psychosis like worst part, and another week or two and i should feel somewhat "normal"
Here's what I have to help cope with withdrawals so far:
L-Tyrosine
5-HTP
Magnesium
Ginko
Strattera
Nortriptyline & Amitriptyline
Multi-Vitamin
Gatorade
And possibly some Seroquel from detox I've been trying to save
Is there anything else that might help? I'm so scared of the horror I felt from withdrawals last time. Any other advice? Excercise?
Also am I correct in assuming the worst will pass within about 3 days? Just tell myself that, and that it won't last forever it will get better...Keep going another week or two and I'll be on my way back to normal?
I'm freaking out that I'll never be the same. The withdrawals of anxiety and all that will never go away, I'm now an OCD Bi-polar anxiety ridden mess for life. Which scares me back into using to make it halfway go away. I can't continue this cycle I'm losing it mentally more by the day it seems.
I would like to be able to tell my fiance "Hey just bear with me two weeks and I'll be back to the normal human being you know and love."
Any insight from past users, or storys of experience would greatly set my mind at east about what I'm in for? And for how long? Thank you very much for Bluelight I've learned so much already. A great group of people you all are sharing your unfortunate "expertise" to help others.
I look forward to continuing the tradition if I can make it out of this hell.
I didn't realize I was fast becoming addicted. In just a month I went from a couple pills, to taking them every hour for more up to 5 sleepless nights in a row.
Soon I was taking them to wake up, to feel normal. Symptoms of anxiety, OCD, and slight Bi-Polar traits started appearing in me. I took more.
One day I ran out.
Not realizing I was that addicted in just a month or knowing of the infamous pychological "crash" I was in for. I awoke thinking I'd just go about my day without it. Uh-oh. I felt like I couldn't breath, shortness of breath, pain in my chest, tired as all hell, with unimaginable anxiety and depression all at once.
Not knowing I was going through withdrawals I went to the doctor, he thought I was just having a bad stressed out day and just lay down.
I couldn't relax at all. I could barely even relax enough to go to the bathroom. I started panicking and went to ER. They took all my vital signs and sent me to the waiting room. Due to a paranoia of being around people I sat in the corner with my hands over my face, almost in tears.
Next day almost same feeling. Eventually figured out it might be due to stopping Ritalin. I took some. An hour later all better.
So I'm addicted. I was taking up to 30 a day, so I was addicted bad!
Told doctor. He tried to have me taper but I abused them. It's like I feel the need to take it every other minute no breaks. Afraid of the psychotic symptoms I was developing I called home detox and searched Bluelight.
Detox is starting me at 300mg a day, and tapering down 30mg a week. That will take 3months! I don't want to be on this "speed" that long! It's destroyed enough of my life and my fiance's about to leave me cuz I'm just not myself, she thinks I've gone crazy. I feel like it. I'm basically act like a "tweeker" on the stuff and it just makes me crave more.
I asked them to detox me faster, but they refused citing liability.
So I searched Bluelight for things to help with withdrawals. That and knowing what to expect I hope can get me through what I hear should only be 3 days for the psychosis like worst part, and another week or two and i should feel somewhat "normal"
Here's what I have to help cope with withdrawals so far:
L-Tyrosine
5-HTP
Magnesium
Ginko
Strattera
Nortriptyline & Amitriptyline
Multi-Vitamin
Gatorade
And possibly some Seroquel from detox I've been trying to save
Is there anything else that might help? I'm so scared of the horror I felt from withdrawals last time. Any other advice? Excercise?
Also am I correct in assuming the worst will pass within about 3 days? Just tell myself that, and that it won't last forever it will get better...Keep going another week or two and I'll be on my way back to normal?
I'm freaking out that I'll never be the same. The withdrawals of anxiety and all that will never go away, I'm now an OCD Bi-polar anxiety ridden mess for life. Which scares me back into using to make it halfway go away. I can't continue this cycle I'm losing it mentally more by the day it seems.
I would like to be able to tell my fiance "Hey just bear with me two weeks and I'll be back to the normal human being you know and love."
Any insight from past users, or storys of experience would greatly set my mind at east about what I'm in for? And for how long? Thank you very much for Bluelight I've learned so much already. A great group of people you all are sharing your unfortunate "expertise" to help others.
I look forward to continuing the tradition if I can make it out of this hell.
