Hello all, longtime lurker and new poster so I hope to get off to a good start. Feel free to flame if I mess up as I find trial by fire to be the best learning tool.
This is my first post on any forum and first trip report so bear with me.
Previous experience-
Dissociatives: Dextromethorphan, Salvia Divinorum
Psychedelics: DOC, 2C-E, 2C-C, Mushrooms, 4-Aco-DMT, 5-Meo-Dalt
General Recreational substances: Ecstasy, Amphetamine, Cocaine, Cannabis and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers and laughers.
Set/Setting: At home, about 10 PM, in a neutral mood and a nagging need to expand my consciousness.
Background:
Bear with me, this is lengthy.
I had only discovered psychedelics a few months before this experience. Prior to using psychedelics my life was in a downward spiral with no foreseeable end in sight. In little more than 4 years I had deteriorated from a kind and confident human being in phenomenal physical and mental health to a manipulative beast of a man.
I credit polydrug abuse, a penchant for the strange and surreal, and my own selfishness as the main catalysts for this jekyll/hyde transformation.
To make things as short as possible, my mental condition deteriorated day by day. The last several years of this hell was characterized by a constant feeling of dissociation from reality, anxiety, and panic attacks. I had pushed away the positive friends in my life and lost my family's trust and faith.
Relationships with the fairer sex were tumultuous and short lived so I'll leave it at that.
I also had a long standing acquaintance with a psychiatrist. Who informed me after 2 years that I was the most trying patient he ever had the (dis)pleasure of knowing. After informing me that the only way I would get my life together was with chronic use of anti-depressant medication I discontinued that service and became my own therapist.
Enter psychedelics.
Thankfully I have always thoroughly researched every chemical I had intentions of taking. So after discovering the research chemical scene I spent countless hours perusing forums such as this one, reading erowid experience reports, and pouring over PIHKAL and TIHKAL. I finally settled on purchasing an amount of 2C-E.
After some low dose trial runs with the 2C-E, I decided to insufflate 25mg of the substance. To this day I believe my sinuses are still plotting revenge for that torture. But that experiment blew the hinges off the doors of my perception. Each breath felt like my first. I have no words to relate what transpired in my head that evening but for the first time in my life I felt true, unbridled, joy and love.
In the week following said experiment I reopened communication with my family, was in tune with reality, and my anxiety finally dissipated. Alas, it could not last forever and my clarity began to regress.
Through continued psychedelic exploration in the next few months I slowly discontinued recreational drug use, reclaimed my sanity and began to forge a new well-rounded personality.
However, it was not until my trial with a 2C-E/Methoxetamine combination that I truly let go of my ego and began to live again.
The Trip:
After several trials with methoxetamine by itself, I decided to risk combining it with the psychedelic 2C-E.
T: 0:00 - I measure out 80mg of Methoxetamine obtained from a reliable source and proceed to administer the chemical sublingually.
T: 0:25 - I wait until the anesthetic properties of MXE begin to take effect before insufflating 15 mg of 2C-E. (The anesthetic properties of MXE made it much easier to handle the pain of 2C insufflation)
T: 0:40 - I become unable to follow the movie I was watching while waiting for the chemicals to take effect. (The Doors - great film by the way)
T: 0:55 - Coordination is greatly deteriorating. After managing to gather my headphones and ipod, I get comfortable in bed and decide the album Lateralus by the band Tool will be the perfect choice for the ensuing insanity.
T: 1:00 - From this point on memory is spotty as my mind had deconstructed the concepts of time, order, and reality.
- Eyes are closed for the duration of the trip. Visuals were truly breathtaking, impossible to relate to my beloved trip report readers. I had the sensation that my body had descended several feet below the earth. I felt as though my mind had disconnected from the confines of its physical structure, projected astrally, and was moving through time space at an incalculable speed.
- A note for trippers, I am a music nut, and have never found a band more awe inspiring to listen than TOOL while under the grasp of psychedelics and especially dissociatives. The emotional and sonic depth of their music is, in my opinion, unmatched.
- Visuals began with the feeling of diving into translucent water and moving past enormous archaic stone pillars that extended upward and downward infinitely. These pillars seemed to be adorned with undefinable faces and symbols.
- After some time these visuals changed and the vibe of the album followed a more directed path with a personal significance. The music became my reality. The album became an epic story that unfolded with my consciousness playing the part of the actors, audience, and narrator all simultaneously.
- Personal interpretation of the music took the form of reflection on a recent relationship with a woman whom I greatly love despite the tumultuous way the companionship ended.
"I know the pieces fit 'cause I watched them tumble down
No fault, none to blame, it doesn't mean I don't desire
To point the finger, blame the other, watch the temple topple over
To bring the pieces back together, rediscover communication"
- The story then changed to docile serenity and understanding once the previous chapter had ended.
- However, this was the calm before the storm. The song Ticks and Leeches then began. If you are familiar with it, the drums built to a seething intensity before exploding with energy.
- The mental film on display now was focused with rage directed towards friends whom I had trusted greatly but felt as though they had betrayed me.
Around this time I again became aware of my body which was contorted with anger. The 8 minute song felt like an eternity. Once it finished, I was exhausted but my anger had been quenched and I felt only forgiveness towards them along with shame for my own blind anger.
- The album's direction then turned and my mind's eye shifted focus from the ignorant selfishness of personal issues to feeling compassion and love towards the universe as a whole.
-This track is titled "Lateralus" and was the inspiration for the trip report's title "Spiral Out". I can do no justice to this masterpiece of a song and the beauty it inspired me to witness during this period of the trip.
I could only watch in awe at the unparalleled beauty and possibilities the universe holds. This was the closest I have come to true Nirvana. The feeling that I am unworthy to glimpse this was repeated over and over in my mind.
An excerpt:
- Feel inspired, to
Fathom the power, to
Witness the beauty, to
Bathe in the fountain, to
Swing on the spiral, to
Swing on the spiral, to
Swing on the spiral of
Our divinity and
Still be a human
T: 12:00 - I feel that approximately 12 hours after dosing I returned close to baseline. Some time into the trip, I believe I experienced ego death which was terrifying at first but afterward I felt ecstatic.
Enough transpired in this time that I feel I could fill dozens of trip reports. However, none can come close to relating the significance it has had on me.
The doses I used in combination may have been reckless and I am fortunate that all went well. Since this experience my outlook on life has completely changed. Relationships with my family have never been better.
If you stuck with this lengthy report I am grateful for the time you took out of your life to read it.
I like to end with a quote so from the amazing artist Eyedea (RIP) -
"Reality is mine, to play with and mold the best thing I ever did was let go. So let go of the models, transcend the physical mind and peacefully become part of the whole."
This is my first post on any forum and first trip report so bear with me.
Previous experience-
Dissociatives: Dextromethorphan, Salvia Divinorum
Psychedelics: DOC, 2C-E, 2C-C, Mushrooms, 4-Aco-DMT, 5-Meo-Dalt
General Recreational substances: Ecstasy, Amphetamine, Cocaine, Cannabis and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers and laughers.
Set/Setting: At home, about 10 PM, in a neutral mood and a nagging need to expand my consciousness.
Background:
Bear with me, this is lengthy.
I had only discovered psychedelics a few months before this experience. Prior to using psychedelics my life was in a downward spiral with no foreseeable end in sight. In little more than 4 years I had deteriorated from a kind and confident human being in phenomenal physical and mental health to a manipulative beast of a man.
I credit polydrug abuse, a penchant for the strange and surreal, and my own selfishness as the main catalysts for this jekyll/hyde transformation.
To make things as short as possible, my mental condition deteriorated day by day. The last several years of this hell was characterized by a constant feeling of dissociation from reality, anxiety, and panic attacks. I had pushed away the positive friends in my life and lost my family's trust and faith.
Relationships with the fairer sex were tumultuous and short lived so I'll leave it at that.
I also had a long standing acquaintance with a psychiatrist. Who informed me after 2 years that I was the most trying patient he ever had the (dis)pleasure of knowing. After informing me that the only way I would get my life together was with chronic use of anti-depressant medication I discontinued that service and became my own therapist.
Enter psychedelics.
Thankfully I have always thoroughly researched every chemical I had intentions of taking. So after discovering the research chemical scene I spent countless hours perusing forums such as this one, reading erowid experience reports, and pouring over PIHKAL and TIHKAL. I finally settled on purchasing an amount of 2C-E.
After some low dose trial runs with the 2C-E, I decided to insufflate 25mg of the substance. To this day I believe my sinuses are still plotting revenge for that torture. But that experiment blew the hinges off the doors of my perception. Each breath felt like my first. I have no words to relate what transpired in my head that evening but for the first time in my life I felt true, unbridled, joy and love.
In the week following said experiment I reopened communication with my family, was in tune with reality, and my anxiety finally dissipated. Alas, it could not last forever and my clarity began to regress.
Through continued psychedelic exploration in the next few months I slowly discontinued recreational drug use, reclaimed my sanity and began to forge a new well-rounded personality.
However, it was not until my trial with a 2C-E/Methoxetamine combination that I truly let go of my ego and began to live again.
The Trip:
After several trials with methoxetamine by itself, I decided to risk combining it with the psychedelic 2C-E.
T: 0:00 - I measure out 80mg of Methoxetamine obtained from a reliable source and proceed to administer the chemical sublingually.
T: 0:25 - I wait until the anesthetic properties of MXE begin to take effect before insufflating 15 mg of 2C-E. (The anesthetic properties of MXE made it much easier to handle the pain of 2C insufflation)
T: 0:40 - I become unable to follow the movie I was watching while waiting for the chemicals to take effect. (The Doors - great film by the way)
T: 0:55 - Coordination is greatly deteriorating. After managing to gather my headphones and ipod, I get comfortable in bed and decide the album Lateralus by the band Tool will be the perfect choice for the ensuing insanity.
T: 1:00 - From this point on memory is spotty as my mind had deconstructed the concepts of time, order, and reality.
- Eyes are closed for the duration of the trip. Visuals were truly breathtaking, impossible to relate to my beloved trip report readers. I had the sensation that my body had descended several feet below the earth. I felt as though my mind had disconnected from the confines of its physical structure, projected astrally, and was moving through time space at an incalculable speed.
- A note for trippers, I am a music nut, and have never found a band more awe inspiring to listen than TOOL while under the grasp of psychedelics and especially dissociatives. The emotional and sonic depth of their music is, in my opinion, unmatched.
- Visuals began with the feeling of diving into translucent water and moving past enormous archaic stone pillars that extended upward and downward infinitely. These pillars seemed to be adorned with undefinable faces and symbols.
- After some time these visuals changed and the vibe of the album followed a more directed path with a personal significance. The music became my reality. The album became an epic story that unfolded with my consciousness playing the part of the actors, audience, and narrator all simultaneously.
- Personal interpretation of the music took the form of reflection on a recent relationship with a woman whom I greatly love despite the tumultuous way the companionship ended.
"I know the pieces fit 'cause I watched them tumble down
No fault, none to blame, it doesn't mean I don't desire
To point the finger, blame the other, watch the temple topple over
To bring the pieces back together, rediscover communication"
- The story then changed to docile serenity and understanding once the previous chapter had ended.
- However, this was the calm before the storm. The song Ticks and Leeches then began. If you are familiar with it, the drums built to a seething intensity before exploding with energy.
- The mental film on display now was focused with rage directed towards friends whom I had trusted greatly but felt as though they had betrayed me.
Around this time I again became aware of my body which was contorted with anger. The 8 minute song felt like an eternity. Once it finished, I was exhausted but my anger had been quenched and I felt only forgiveness towards them along with shame for my own blind anger.
- The album's direction then turned and my mind's eye shifted focus from the ignorant selfishness of personal issues to feeling compassion and love towards the universe as a whole.
-This track is titled "Lateralus" and was the inspiration for the trip report's title "Spiral Out". I can do no justice to this masterpiece of a song and the beauty it inspired me to witness during this period of the trip.
I could only watch in awe at the unparalleled beauty and possibilities the universe holds. This was the closest I have come to true Nirvana. The feeling that I am unworthy to glimpse this was repeated over and over in my mind.
An excerpt:
- Feel inspired, to
Fathom the power, to
Witness the beauty, to
Bathe in the fountain, to
Swing on the spiral, to
Swing on the spiral, to
Swing on the spiral of
Our divinity and
Still be a human
T: 12:00 - I feel that approximately 12 hours after dosing I returned close to baseline. Some time into the trip, I believe I experienced ego death which was terrifying at first but afterward I felt ecstatic.
Enough transpired in this time that I feel I could fill dozens of trip reports. However, none can come close to relating the significance it has had on me.
The doses I used in combination may have been reckless and I am fortunate that all went well. Since this experience my outlook on life has completely changed. Relationships with my family have never been better.
If you stuck with this lengthy report I am grateful for the time you took out of your life to read it.
I like to end with a quote so from the amazing artist Eyedea (RIP) -
"Reality is mine, to play with and mold the best thing I ever did was let go. So let go of the models, transcend the physical mind and peacefully become part of the whole."
Nice nickname.
