CarryBagMan
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 16, 2020
- Messages
- 27
I find this a strange phenomenon, and wondering if it's just a peculiarity about my own meth use pattern, or if there could be a normal or logical explanation for this subjective experience:
On the third day, after not sleeping for two consecutive nights, is when I actually feel like my best, true self. Confidence, self-esteem, energy and mood level are at their highest. This shouldn't be due to mere intoxication (right?), as I had taken my last oral dose (let's say) at midnight and it is now 10am. I feel this high mood & elation & "peak self" the rest of the day until I go to bed that evening.
So this "And on the Third Day he Felt Resurrected And as a Brand New Man lol" I have thoughts to myself like..."the way I am feeling -right now- should be how I feel every day, normal and sober." I realize that all the other days, whether using or not, I am living & experiencing life at a much lower threshold, at almost like at 50% or living with blinders on. So I have 3-5 of these "peak" days per month.
So WTF is going on here:
- is it merely the psychological effects, FWIW, of sleep deprivation plus coming down off crystal meth?
- but huh? "Coming down" is not supposed to be enjoyable, right? And people usually feel the best when they are actively using/abusing a drug at that precise moment in time, right? So: counter-intuitive subjective experience
- anyone have any relatable experience or possibly why this could make sense from a neuro-biological perspective??
- should I chalk it up to "well, that's just how meth works for CarryBagMan" and stop wasting people's time with trivial minutiae that doesn't matter?
I really thank those who trudged thru this, and am really grateful to this community. Thank you so much peace and love
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On the third day, after not sleeping for two consecutive nights, is when I actually feel like my best, true self. Confidence, self-esteem, energy and mood level are at their highest. This shouldn't be due to mere intoxication (right?), as I had taken my last oral dose (let's say) at midnight and it is now 10am. I feel this high mood & elation & "peak self" the rest of the day until I go to bed that evening.
So this "And on the Third Day he Felt Resurrected And as a Brand New Man lol" I have thoughts to myself like..."the way I am feeling -right now- should be how I feel every day, normal and sober." I realize that all the other days, whether using or not, I am living & experiencing life at a much lower threshold, at almost like at 50% or living with blinders on. So I have 3-5 of these "peak" days per month.
So WTF is going on here:
- is it merely the psychological effects, FWIW, of sleep deprivation plus coming down off crystal meth?
- but huh? "Coming down" is not supposed to be enjoyable, right? And people usually feel the best when they are actively using/abusing a drug at that precise moment in time, right? So: counter-intuitive subjective experience
- anyone have any relatable experience or possibly why this could make sense from a neuro-biological perspective??
- should I chalk it up to "well, that's just how meth works for CarryBagMan" and stop wasting people's time with trivial minutiae that doesn't matter?
I really thank those who trudged thru this, and am really grateful to this community. Thank you so much peace and love
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