Meth or death?

[Draven26]

To whoever is still using meth that lives in the states. If you feel your shit is cut with iso.. or not the same as it used to be.. where the high is barely present at the time of slamming, snorting, putting it in an empty capsule and taking it orally.. then seriously get off this junk. I don?t ever remember meth being this fucked up! My bones have never felt so weak and I?ve been dealing with a lot of fucked up things happening to my body ever since I relapsed. I?ve been doing meth for 10 years on and off.. and I don?t know any trusted sources for the good shit. From what I keep hearing.. 90% of what?s coming from shitty Mexico is that isopropylbenzylamine and this shit is killing people a lot quicker. Fucked up how it doesn?t make you feel as good as the old stuff does but it?s twice the bitch to come off because for some fucking reason this cunt feels more addictive and the withdrawals are extreme! If my dumbass doesn?t make the right choice and just quit cold turkey and give it that week of rest.. I know for a fact I am not going to make it out alive this year. I sleep on this shit about 6-8 hours.. I eat 5 balanced meals a day and work out.. and have maintained a job and good cleaning habits.. take my vitamins and spend so much fucking time trying to take care of my health but this junk catches up to you man.. it?s not fucking worth it! I?ve got bald patches losing my fucking hair and I don?t overwash nor skip showers I fucking use Biotin shampoo, minoxidil, there?s just no way escaping what the fuck is in these meth cuts. Thanks Mexico! Fuck your government.. and fuck anyone that sells this junk. If you don?t hear from me stating I?m clean by the end of this year.. then I?ve died and suffered more pain in hell. Take care guys! Be safe! Do your research. This shit ain?t fake.. it?s reality. Unless you?re cooking the shit yourself and getting the psuedo from China who supplies it.. then it?s no point getting it from your source unless you know of a person getting the shit without these nasty cuts in the dope! I?m heading to the ER to fucking take care of my kidneys that are probably failing. Oh yeah.. I drink almost two gallons of water a day.. eat veggies and fruits and barely any junk food.. still fucking dying over here! This shit has wrecked havoc on my body.. and for what? A cheap high that doesn?t last? To cope with my divorce and my depression? I fucking know better and I am way too intelligent and talented to fucking kill myself like this.. wtf man!I?m ending this addiction before it ends my life! Goodnight ya?ll! Peace and love!

 

[Draven26]

49 views and 0 replies. Ya'll probably think I'm just paranoid haha it's whatever.. fuck my life anyways right?

 

[Spidermite14]

Yo bro I think I?ve been using the same shit. Had to go to ER recently with extreme abdominal pain and swelling

 

[4meSM]

I'm sorry you're experiencing this, hope you manage to quit and everything turns out alright.

I assume you mean N-isopropylbenzylamine.
I've heard about it being used to cut meth but don't have much info about its effects. Those symptoms seem pretty serious but I feel like they could be caused by a variety of reasons.
Seems weird that you find it more addictive and harder to quit, I thought it wasn't centrally active (not 100% sure).

How much are you taking? And what have the doctors told you about your symptoms?

I just want to know more about it. Maybe you're right and this particular cut is extremely toxic (the addiction is likely caused by the actual meth in your "cut substance").
I feel like the only way to know for sure would be to send it to a lab for testing, could be a mixture of cuts or not even meth at all.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Are you insane?

The DEA does raids, busts, tests the dope and posts the results.

They WANT it to be methamphetamine. It’s highly addictive. It’s how you turn people into ATM’s.

 

[ovo1024]

You sound high right now. Lot of rambling over nothing lol. Anyways here in Arizona the meth is just fine lol

 

[whos there]

sure iso sucks, but theres no such thing as clean meth. even desoxyn is still just meth. methamphetamine is methamphetamine, its all shit

 

[2spun4one]

That's very true, everything is A-OK here in Arizona. I couldn't imagine having to deal with not knowing what the hell you are smoking, slamming, snorting, etc. Almost gives me chills just thinking about it...

 

[George27]

I sleep on this shit about 6-8 hours.. I eat 5 balanced meals a day and work out.. and have maintained a job and good cleaning habits.. take my vitamins !

That is pretty good for your body. I've seen that half of my hangover from meth was caused by deidratation.
Anyway, meth has neurotoxicity (*) and aubergines can do nothong for this...

(*) The neurotoxicity is not from meth, but from the metabolites of dopamine. Usually they are deactivate before doing harm, but with the overproduction caused by meth ( or coke) , they "spill over" killing some neurons.

 

[Draven26]

Okay thank you for the responses you guys. I am on day 4 of my sobriety.. and I'm done for good with this shit. I don't care at this point what the fuck it is whether it's pure or cut meth I could give a rats ass. I almost attempted suicide last night and I don't need another reminder of all the times I have attempted it. But last night was just a shitty reminder of the scars this drug leaves on you. So it had nothing to do with cravings or anything like that.. but basically the drug use has fucked up my skin bad. I shower twice a day and use lotion on my body and shampoo regular floss, brush, I have pearly whites and a great smile so fortunately it's not my teeth.. but my scalp has either sores or I don't know what you would call them and I don't pick at it. I don't know if it's because I have sensitive skin or what but my hair is seriously falling out and I'm fucking crying over her like a bitch not knowing what to do. If that shit fucks with my hair and teeth I told myself I'd be done and right now day 4 seems to be going pretty well besides me being depressed and not knowing what to do about my scalp. How do I make the sores or irritation go away because it's eating chunks out of my hair and I'm really fucking depressed over this shit and don't wanna leave the house and I can't afford that shit because I have two interviews next week that I ain't trying to miss! Should I get some Vitamin B or a specific shampoo or what? Please any and all opinions accepted I just need any sort of advice on what I can do to treat this and what kind of supplements should I be taking right now to make sure my skin and body stay healthy?

 

[Draven26]

aNYONE?

 

[Ropiho]

For your skin, find a low-pH shampoo. I can suggest goat-milk-type shampoo or something that sounds like it. Dairy based shampoo, its not that hard to find. Be gentle with your skin pH level first. Dairy-based shampoo always the all-the-time favourite for human skin, it was soo cheap till we were skeptical to buy it. Trust me, give it a try.

For your scalp, no 'hair-shampoo' can repair that. It needs special treatment, maybe some supplements would help but at a slow rate for sure. Im sorry, no idea about this.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Okay thank you for the responses you guys. I am on day 4 of my sobriety.. and I'm done for good with this shit. I don't care at this point what the fuck it is whether it's pure or cut meth I could give a rats ass. I almost attempted suicide last night and I don't need another reminder of all the times I have attempted it. But last night was just a shitty reminder of the scars this drug leaves on you. So it had nothing to do with cravings or anything like that.. but basically the drug use has fucked up my skin bad. I shower twice a day and use lotion on my body and shampoo regular floss, brush, I have pearly whites and a great smile so fortunately it's not my teeth.. but my scalp has either sores or I don't know what you would call them and I don't pick at it. I don't know if it's because I have sensitive skin or what but my hair is seriously falling out and I'm fucking crying over her like a bitch not knowing what to do. If that shit fucks with my hair and teeth I told myself I'd be done and right now day 4 seems to be going pretty well besides me being depressed and not knowing what to do about my scalp. How do I make the sores or irritation go away because it's eating chunks out of my hair and I'm really fucking depressed over this shit and don't wanna leave the house and I can't afford that shit because I have two interviews next week that I ain't trying to miss! Should I get some Vitamin B or a specific shampoo or what? Please any and all opinions accepted I just need any sort of advice on what I can do to treat this and what kind of supplements should I be taking right now to make sure my skin and body stay healthy?

It sounds like you should really quit man, suicide attempts are a bad sign the drug is not right for you.

Do you have some mental health issues?

 

[Draven26]

Captain Heroin.. do I have mental health issues? You tell me if you end up reading this.. I never thought I had mental health issues besides depression. I have gotten tested too.. maybe I should get tested by another doctor. I probably have PTSD or I could be bipolar. I've been clean for 5-6 days though and I don't have any cravings.. I'm just not doing too good brother ( divorce, not finding work, fear of life getting worse and health insurance getting fucked over and losing my prescription medication for my TRT.. that'll be the push for me to pull the trigger honestly and I'm fucking scared shitless of how I've been but I should be happy that I'm sober.. I just don't understand why I feel so fucking depressed and why I fear my life is going to get worse with work and I.. I can't put it into words man but it's a nightmare I can't run away from and I just want it to stop! )

I really don’t know what to do with how I feel right now but I’m pretty scared because I feel like it’s not even worth living anymore you guys. I’m not trying to sound like a sad little bitch or make threats about suicide I’m just saying it’s getting to that point where I feel powerless and I don’t have my therapist to go to because she’s out of town and I can’t reach my fucking pastor right now and ain’t nobody wanna listen to my bullshit because they just think I’m being dramatic as fuck but I ain’t. I can’t find a fucking job even though I’m highly qualified to be a stock clerk associate, I’ve done construction jobs though that’s probably not the best option since I got this fucking broken shoulder of mine. I’ve done retail and sales and hell I’ll take a telemarketing job if I have to but times seem to be more complicated than ever. I’m broke, hopeless, divorced, and the way life makes me itch burns like a son of a bitch let me tell ya. Only thing that will give me a push into tying that noose around my neck is if my insurance stops covering my prescription for my TRT.. let em take away my Testosterone and I’m a pussy ass bitch if I don’t make that move and ending it all because it just wouldn’t be worth it. That would be the last straw because I’ve been on TRT since 2015.. and that’s the only reason why I’m probably still here and although I’m not alive and well.. it seems that my withdrawals are fucking cake compared to when I tried quitting before when I wasn’t on TRT. I remember the first time I tried quitting before I was ever on Testosterone.. 10 days of hell.. compared to now I’m on day 5 or 6 I can’t remember.. and I don’t even have any cravings for the drug. I’m just emotional and venting to you guys because I have no one to talk to. I’ve never felt this alone and it’s a shitty feeling. What’s the point if I can’t help my mother out with the bills and if we end up losing the house wtf like what’s the point of being a live if you aren’t really alive? I’m fucking empty inside man. Talk about all this bullshit with God taking 99 steps and all we gotta do is take the first step? As a Christian man I feel like I failed his ass because I don’t spend much time with God.. mainly cuz I feel like he bailed on my ass a long time ago. Wife cheated and left me, God left me, shit even the devil abandoned me. It sucks to be lonely.. here all on my own with nothing but these mother fucking broken bones.. emotional as fuck. I don’t know what else to say.. maybe do myself a favor with a wave goodbye and a bullet to the skull.. and I’ll see you all later in hell! =/

 

[Draven26]

And quite honestly I don't think I should or would ever go back to that drug.. ESPECIALLY right now with how my current mood has been. I don't think any drug could cheer me up.. I mean hopefully this feeling will wear off. I just don't know where it came from. Maybe it's just my hormones being out of walk and my dopamine being depleted or maybe it's just how fucked up the world around me has been and times have changed with people, work environment, dating, finding my place here as I seriously feel like I don't fit in with society but maybe it's because I shut everything out when I was using I don't know.. it's just a scary feeling because I've never had it feel this bad where it seems like the only option that would help me out is if I turned the lights off and killed myself so I won't bother anyone with my bullshit and make others worry about me too much. I wouldn't mind sleeping in peace for eternity.. but I don't think it would be so peaceful if my ass ends up in hell. Anyways I'm sorry for bothering you guys with my bullshit sob story.. I just don't have anyone to talk to right now and I didn't know what else to do =/ usually music and singing helps and I've been writing a fuck tone but I can't even record or play because I had to sell my piano so we could keep the house and my headsets and microphone are broken so I can't record my music.. it's one thing after the other and I'm fed up with it all you know? I can't even get a half day of happiness no matter how hard I try!

 

[zephyr]

Its pretty impossible to get a good scope if your mental health when under influence or withdrawal of drugs.

Dont worry about that now, dont feel the need to have any diagnosis as no one here is capable of that. That takes assessment over time by professionals.

Just be as comfy as possible, meth will make you think you cant live without it but it's just a stoopid chemical. You are in charge of it. Not the other way around.

 

[zephyr]

Btw, done this myself, its shit but in a week you'll feel better.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Captain Heroin.. do I have mental health issues? You tell me if you end up reading this.. I never thought I had mental health issues besides depression. I have gotten tested too.. maybe I should get tested by another doctor. I probably have PTSD or I could be bipolar. I've been clean for 5-6 days though and I don't have any cravings.. I'm just not doing too good brother ( divorce, not finding work, fear of life getting worse and health insurance getting fucked over and losing my prescription medication for my TRT.. that'll be the push for me to pull the trigger honestly and I'm fucking scared shitless of how I've been but I should be happy that I'm sober.. I just don't understand why I feel so fucking depressed and why I fear my life is going to get worse with work and I.. I can't put it into words man but it's a nightmare I can't run away from and I just want it to stop! )

I really don’t know what to do with how I feel right now but I’m pretty scared because I feel like it’s not even worth living anymore you guys. I’m not trying to sound like a sad little bitch or make threats about suicide I’m just saying it’s getting to that point where I feel powerless and I don’t have my therapist to go to because she’s out of town and I can’t reach my fucking pastor right now and ain’t nobody wanna listen to my bullshit because they just think I’m being dramatic as fuck but I ain’t. I can’t find a fucking job even though I’m highly qualified to be a stock clerk associate, I’ve done construction jobs though that’s probably not the best option since I got this fucking broken shoulder of mine. I’ve done retail and sales and hell I’ll take a telemarketing job if I have to but times seem to be more complicated than ever. I’m broke, hopeless, divorced, and the way life makes me itch burns like a son of a bitch let me tell ya. Only thing that will give me a push into tying that noose around my neck is if my insurance stops covering my prescription for my TRT.. let em take away my Testosterone and I’m a pussy ass bitch if I don’t make that move and ending it all because it just wouldn’t be worth it. That would be the last straw because I’ve been on TRT since 2015.. and that’s the only reason why I’m probably still here and although I’m not alive and well.. it seems that my withdrawals are fucking cake compared to when I tried quitting before when I wasn’t on TRT. I remember the first time I tried quitting before I was ever on Testosterone.. 10 days of hell.. compared to now I’m on day 5 or 6 I can’t remember.. and I don’t even have any cravings for the drug. I’m just emotional and venting to you guys because I have no one to talk to. I’ve never felt this alone and it’s a shitty feeling. What’s the point if I can’t help my mother out with the bills and if we end up losing the house wtf like what’s the point of being a live if you aren’t really alive? I’m fucking empty inside man. Talk about all this bullshit with God taking 99 steps and all we gotta do is take the first step? As a Christian man I feel like I failed his ass because I don’t spend much time with God.. mainly cuz I feel like he bailed on my ass a long time ago. Wife cheated and left me, God left me, shit even the devil abandoned me. It sucks to be lonely.. here all on my own with nothing but these mother fucking broken bones.. emotional as fuck. I don’t know what else to say.. maybe do myself a favor with a wave goodbye and a bullet to the skull.. and I’ll see you all later in hell! =/

Most people go through depression in life and due to your life circumstances I am going to say you’re probably depressed. See a psychiatrist. Don’t say you’re thinking about ending it. Say you’re very depressed and “need help” and ask for antidepressants. If you’re also anxious and not sleeping well, he might also rx sleep or anxiety medication.

Stop using meth for now. It’s going to exacerbate anxiety and depression when you’re already depressed. Almost everyone I know was self medicating for something with methamphetamine. Of course I might not know “average users” or “average people”, but I’d venture a guess and say I have known enough people to see enough average ones.

You can go to a regular doctor if you want but a psychiatrist is a better idea.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

And quite honestly I don't think I should or would ever go back to that drug.. ESPECIALLY right now with how my current mood has been. I don't think any drug could cheer me up.. I mean hopefully this feeling will wear off. I just don't know where it came from. Maybe it's just my hormones being out of walk and my dopamine being depleted or maybe it's just how fucked up the world around me has been and times have changed with people, work environment, dating, finding my place here as I seriously feel like I don't fit in with society but maybe it's because I shut everything out when I was using I don't know.. it's just a scary feeling because I've never had it feel this bad where it seems like the only option that would help me out is if I turned the lights off and killed myself so I won't bother anyone with my bullshit and make others worry about me too much. I wouldn't mind sleeping in peace for eternity.. but I don't think it would be so peaceful if my ass ends up in hell. Anyways I'm sorry for bothering you guys with my bullshit sob story.. I just don't have anyone to talk to right now and I didn't know what else to do =/ usually music and singing helps and I've been writing a fuck tone but I can't even record or play because I had to sell my piano so we could keep the house and my headsets and microphone are broken so I can't record my music.. it's one thing after the other and I'm fed up with it all you know? I can't even get a half day of happiness no matter how hard I try!

It’s totally OK that’s why I’m here. I have often bitched about my life here. Like a lot lol.

I love music too; are you into reading?

Happiness might seem impossible for a while. I was never addicted to meth. But when I quit buprenorphine I was in hell for a long time. I was self-medicating and getting to a psychiatrist for an evaluation and medication is the best thing I did for myself this year.

I too also thought no drug would work. I finally found one that seems to work well for depression and just some of my PTSD symptoms. Have faith. SSRI’s didn’t work out for me. There’s other antidepressants out there.

 

[Draven26]

Captain.Heroin thank you for the support brother! I've been doing much better these couple of days. I have been seeing my therapist but my therapist can't prescribe medications so I need to find myself a psychiatrist and I'll try to be open about medication I just fear trying any more anti-depressants and having it fuck with my hormone levels because that's the only reason why I'm on Testosterone Replacement and I've been on TRT for over 3 years man I didn't need to go on it this young.. but I'll be 33 this year so I guess I'm not that young lol and I feel better being on Testosterone but I worry too much about things in life. I think that's my biggest problem and it takes control of me on the daily. I overanalyze and fear ever losing my prescription to the Testosterone and going back to feeling like shit and planning out in my head how to rob the pharmacies or buy my testosterone on the street or killing for it even lol crazy shit but I know that will pass the more I continue staying sober. It's been a week and a half or something I don't know.. haven't been focused on it. Been going to church and meetings and one of my ex girlfriends has been supportive and helping me through the nightmares. I get fucked up nightmares sometimes about the first time I ever got into using meth (( I was 14 and was molested I guess you can say by an older girl who was 17 at church and it was the same age I lost my virginity because she shot me up and had me choking her and fucking her violently. And at 14 I will admit.. I was as innocent as they come for a boy but she fucked me up pretty bad and I'm surprised I have lived my life satisfied in pussy but never really satisfied the way that I want. I know it's going to sound cheesy but I'm a hopeless romantic who always wanted that married life but every woman I've met just wants me to fuck em and use them up like they are objects and just another hole to fill. I wish I was that guy that didn't care but I want it to be more meaningful and it's a shame because if I was a savage and didn't care about feelings I probably wouldn't have put myself in a situation where I was coping with the hurt by abusing drugs. Maybe it's just wishful thinking. I can't look at the past and need to realize I got to where I am at right now and I am starting to see changes in how I feel and look. I'm smiling again and people tell me I look so much happier.. and I just want that to continue so fuck all the pain I felt. I just want to stay sober man.. you are right.. the drugs had stopped being fun for me for a while and I kept prolonging it because I was afraid to quit to be honest. I was afraid to gain weight again or be constantly tired which I am lmaooo but fuck it.. it's life.. I'm sure it'll pass and things will be okay.. it's just not worth it for me put shitty chemicals in my body just to numb feelings or stay awake and be more alert but never really getting shit done.. just wasting time and spitting rhymes (( that part was fun rhyming in the car or freestyling with random people... but I can do that sober if I wanted to.. even if I ain't as social.. it's better to be sober than always make an impression on people that is usually good.. but having to hear from people I'm a little too extreme kind of hurts because I never want to go overboard and frighten people with how crazy I can get. I'm really a normal guy who's just a goofball but when I was on that shit I felt like people were on edge lol fucking stupid shit man anywho.. sorry for the long paragraph ))

PS no people I ain't high when I write shit like this lol I've just always been a guy who rants sometimes and I get it from my father.. he's more annoying when it comes to talking. (( And he's never done a single drug in his life besides drink occasionally. He's a straight edge navy seal that doesn't have time for drugs or bullshit.. but his only addiction is gambling.. and it's not a very good addiction but that's a different story lol )) Happy 2019 everyone! Love ya'll!