Meth (Meth and Carbamates) fucking going down another spiral, how do i crawl out?

[bluecollartweeker]

My life should be going good, got family, a good relationship, steady job. But lately ive been falling into old habbits and its feels un-avoidable, just want to rant.
Meth dealer died. I used 280mg in one day, that day. Havnt slept since sunday.
When i slept it was before i smoked the meth and i was able to sleep because of soma, and i passed out on a park bench and a dog barking woke me up, i forgot i was out biking so i was freaked tf out to wake up in a dark feild with a dog barking at me, biked away and fucked up my knee. Then i spent the next 20 hours smoking the shitty meth from my dealer who just died, he was good friends with a friend of mind, i consoled them as well as i coul. Wemt thruogh 280mg meth and 20 pills of carisoprodol from then till now.
Overdosed(?) on carisoprodol amd methocarbomal and vomitted alot and it scared my parents. (Me, my bro and aunt are all renting a room with parents) i told them all i took was trazodone. I never told my partner about the meth, they dont know ive been using. I have no more meth, i cant sleep for shit, ive been up since 4:00am sunday, been spending money on food that should be for rent, all my loved ones are worried. Fuck.

Just wanted to rant, if this is innapropriate for the general drug forum, sorry mods, im newish ✡

 

[WellTram]

How long have you been using meth ? It's ugly truth but you will probably News SNRi/SSRi/Vortioxetine and mirtazapine. Try Vortioxetine And Mirtazapine for sleep. Use it for at least 6 months. U may use some comfort meds like benzodiazepines, low dose opioids (tramadol - opioid + SNRi). Your dopamine, serotonine, noradrenaline receptors are fucked up. Try to medicate yourself for a few months. For fatigue use modafinil + tramadol ( it raise dopamine, endorphine, serotonine,noradrenaline, etc. when used together ).

 

[Juicewrldfan]

My life should be going good, got family, a good relationship, steady job. But lately ive been falling into old habbits and its feels un-avoidable, just want to rant.
Meth dealer died. I used 280mg in one day, that day. Havnt slept since sunday.
When i slept it was before i smoked the meth and i was able to sleep because of soma, and i passed out on a park bench and a dog barking woke me up, i forgot i was out biking so i was freaked tf out to wake up in a dark feild with a dog barking at me, biked away and fucked up my knee. Then i spent the next 20 hours smoking the shitty meth from my dealer who just died, he was good friends with a friend of mind, i consoled them as well as i coul. Wemt thruogh 280mg meth and 20 pills of carisoprodol from then till now.
Overdosed(?) on carisoprodol amd methocarbomal and vomitted alot and it scared my parents. (Me, my bro and aunt are all renting a room with parents) i told them all i took was trazodone. I never told my partner about the meth, they dont know ive been using. I have no more meth, i cant sleep for shit, ive been up since 4:00am sunday, been spending money on food that should be for rent, all my loved ones are worried. Fuck.

Just wanted to rant, if this is innapropriate for the general drug forum, sorry mods, im newish ✡

First, I’m sorry for what you are going thru right now. Life can be very hard some times but it can’t be bad forever, right?

You know what the problem is, right? I mean most of people with addictions like us do know it’s the problem but we just don’t act on fixing it usually before we are forced to by our lives unraveling like this.

You are presented with a choice. You can keep experiencing this pain and suffering over and over again with a brief respite during meth sessions or what have you. Or you can take some type of action. Any action towards fixing the situation and the first thing is getting rid of the meth habit.

If we take actions to try to make our life better we will make our life better. It’s a basic concept but I think it’s easy to get stuck in “freeze” mode as I call it. I got stuck in it many many times but I don’t anymore. It’s where we are so overwhelmed with pain, regret, loss, stress, or what have you that you can’t stop focusing on it and don’t take actions towards fixing it.

It’s a state of hopelessness and we just want to escape so paradoxically we use the very thing that caused this mess…just to feel “better”, “happier”, “motivated “ Whatever the case may be.

And that cycle can continue for a life time if we let it until we find ourselves on our deathbed wondering what we did with our life.

I’ll say one last thing…I used to think money, achievements, legacy, were the things that mattered in life and wasted years chasing the wrong things.

What I know now is that it’s the people. It’s the people and the memories that matter. Make up with your loved ones.

Perhaps Come clean maybe depending on your circumstances. (I don’t know them).

I’m asking you to trade this one thing for EVERYTHING. Or you can choose to have that one thing and continue losing friends/love interests, family, security, and go on suffering in all the ways that you suffer now and likely worse.

We trade our hopes, our dreams, and lives for just a taste of happiness, but you can have real happiness by chasing your hopes and dreams.

So make dreams, have hope, and remember that people, your loved ones and friends, are what you’re going to be thinking about on your deathbed when it’s your time. And you are going to either die a happy person who lived a full life or a miserable recluse that has no one by their side as they fade away…

This is written with love by the way.

 

[bluecollartweeker]

Wise words of advice, I appreciate the reply. cant choose to continue using meth, my dealers dead and I live in bumfuck nowhere Canada. I've been off Soma too, withdrawal's are kicking my ass. But its only up from here. I kicked booze 6 months ago, and kicked my IV disso's and speed habit almost a year ago, I still dream of shooting up crank in bathroom stalls and tying off on lunchbreaks, but I did quit. This is a logical next step, quitting meth. I'm not going to stop using stimulants as a whole, but I can give up crank, I dont really have much choice not too, but ill still feel like its a decision I've made.

 

[Juicewrldfan]

I hate to say this and some will not agree, but I would say stay away from all amphetamines period. If you have a heavy addiction to meth and then start taking adderall, Dexedrine, vyvanse or what have you, it’s very likely you will end up in the same boat just needing higher doses.

I get it man, I used to love speeding but unless it’s mdma with my girl then I can’t do it. I tried quitting while being prescribed vyvanse and I was just as addicted as with meth nearly but hey I guess everyone is different ya know?

Please be safe man. Remember make dreams come true, find something to be hopeful about or look forward to in the future so you are looking ahead and not back and focusing on regrets and loss. Make some new friends if yours judge you for one reason or another. I used to think people aren’t replaceable but that’s bullshit. Maybe no people are exactly the same but people come and go. Some good ones stick around though.

All I’m saying is you will find new people. We are social beings. It’s a natural trajectory.

Shit, I can’t focus my thoughts right now. Been taking hits off my vape bubbler of some d9o concentrate.

I’ll have to check back in

 

[jasperkent]

Wise words of advice, I appreciate the reply. cant choose to continue using meth, my dealers dead and I live in bumfuck nowhere Canada. I've been off Soma too, withdrawal's are kicking my ass. But its only up from here....

If you are eating now, I'd strongly recommend that you take vitamins with your meals-- especially C and B-complex. This will help your body repair itself. When your brain and nervous system are healthy, recovery is much easier. It will also help stave off depression.

Best wishes.

 

[Juicewrldfan]

If you are eating now, I'd strongly recommend that you take vitamins with your meals-- especially C and B-complex. This will help your body repair itself. When your brain and nervous system are healthy, recovery is much easier. It will also help stave off depression.

Best wishes.

So true. People overlook the importance of nutrition by a large margin

 

[Eryximachus]

Wise words of advice, I appreciate the reply. cant choose to continue using meth, my dealers dead and I live in bumfuck nowhere Canada. I've been off Soma too, withdrawal's are kicking my ass. But its only up from here. I kicked booze 6 months ago, and kicked my IV disso's and speed habit almost a year ago, I still dream of shooting up crank in bathroom stalls and tying off on lunchbreaks, but I did quit. This is a logical next step, quitting meth. I'm not going to stop using stimulants as a whole, but I can give up crank, I dont really have much choice not too, but ill still feel like its a decision I've made.

How are you hanging man? You on the recovery road yet?

 

[bluecollartweeker]

How are you hanging man? You on the recovery road yet?

yeah, I've been feeling better since then, I have been struggling to get the energy I desire but work has been ok. Thanks for checking in.

 

[Eryximachus]

yeah, I've been feeling better since then, I have been struggling to get the energy I desire but work has been ok. Thanks for checking in.

That's awesome. Keep at it. Would love to hear how it's going for you in the future.