Baron_Greenbck
Bluelighter
I'm actually beginning to find it quite a boring substance. It's absolutely useless for getting anything done, even tidying the house, because my attention is constantly flitting from one thing to the next, right now I have a dozen tabs open in my browser and I'm carrying on conversations online with half a dozen different people for example and just cycling between all of them. It's taken me 20 minutes to write this so far.
I find it really difficult to find good music to go with it, I'm constantly changing the tunes, or listening to a mix and suddenly notice that the tune on is annoying the shit out of me and find myself thinking that the guy who produced it must be a total dickhead to make something so irritating.
I don't feel much of a euphoria from it anymore, it's more like a mild speedy buzz that makes me very chatty, confident in the validity of my point of view, very sociable and perhaps a bit too honest. I've actually had a couple of evenings on it where I've become quite morose and focusing on all the bad things in my life, allthough admittedly that did leave me with the seeds of a new willingness to tackle some of those problems and explore new approaches to dealing with them - which I suppose is a positive outcome.
Oh yeah and the crystally batch, definately smells of solvent when freshly opened, but it's not the same as the fishy smelling stuff I was getting months ago. It's more like a sharp, vinegary smell. The stuff I got recently has been making my nose sting and my eyes water and had me mouthing swearwords under mybreath after doing a line, and for the first time ever with mephedrone from any vendor I had a quite dramatic nosebleed last night and woke up with both nostrils choked up with dried blood. Lovely.
I'm tempted to compare the whole experience to having a new sexual relationship with someone which is great fun for a while until you get to know the person and realise they are actually dull, facetious, petty, dishonest and ugly on the inside, and even though the sex is good it's outweighed by the intolerability of their shitty personality so to rid yourself of guilt by doing the right thing, you're compelled to end the relationship.
wee addendum I have to get off my chest
I absolutely fucking hate the insidious way it can make me feel as though I'm being perfectly rational when I make arrangements with friends, such as meeting them tomorrow, doing x y z for them at so and so time. Then I wake up the next day, often after having just 3 or 4 hours sleep, feeling ill, antisocial and with an intense desire to be alone. I have let down a friend 3 times in a row now as a direct result of this, infact I've let down several other people aswell, and I fucking hate myself for it.
I whole heartedly agree with this, great post!!!
