HarrytheHead
Bluelighter
I originally posted about my comedown back in February. I just want to check in about my recovery and see if anyone has experienced my type of recovery where there are still lingering head pressure issues?? No, I did not test the Molly I took. I am sure it was dirty.
It has been about 7 months since I took a single dose of molly crystals (about 250mg). It was my third experience with MDMA and the past two times before that went fine. I overheated on this dose, had the first and worst panic attack of my life and almost passed out. It passed and after a good nights rest, I felt perfectly fine. 48 hours later, I had trouble breathing and my heart rate would randomly spike upwards of 160. I know this because I went to the ER 4 times with panic attacks. As the days progressed, life was a constant panic attack and I developed insomnia and agoraphobia. My whole life I slept like a log no problem and all of a sudden, I was waking up in the dark with extreme panic attacks. This lasted a few weeks and I stayed out of work saying I had pneumonia.
When I returned to work, every day crawled by. I had constant anxiety, random panic attacks, hot flashes, cold flashes, deep severe depression, emptiness, I couldn't concentrate at all. It eventually got to the point that I simply walked out the door and claimed to my job that I was sick and could no longer work. With my new found time, I saw a therapist and a psychiatrist. I was prescribed 10mg of Paxil (SSRI). I took this for 3 weeks and started to feel a little better. Then my doc increased my dose to 20mg I know doctors are supposed to gradually increase... but I said.. "Hey I'm feeling a little better, why should I increase my dose?" I was terrified of becoming dependent on this stuff. So after arguing with my doctor for several days, I bought a pill cutter and kept the dose at 10mg. Then with a great deal of courage, I cut the pills down to 5mg and noticed no changes. Then I stopped all together. I still had anxiety and depression. But it was manageable. And I made a deal with myself that unless the symptoms were completely unbearable, I would stay away from SSRIs. I was happy and proud of this accomplishment.
2 months later I made great headway. I saw a therapist weekly to talk through my problems and deal with them. I was feeling intense head pressure and rapid heartbeats almost constantly. But the depression was fading. And the panic attacks were sparse. I decided while being off work, I would take my first SOLO trip to Europe. It was really difficult, and I had a panic attack there my second day... but through my therapy and meditation I was able to overcome my anxiety and had an unforgettable time. I made great memories and friends.
Now its about 7 months since that stupid high dose of MDMA, which was more likely than not dirty. My depression is basically gone, I just still have this head pressure. Like a tight feeling in my forehead, around the eyes and down into my jaw. My heart beat is sometimes quick and sometimes I get anxiety. But I am so much better than before. I am interviewing for jobs. So if I can handle being grilled by an interviewer, I can say I am basically better. I am just waiting for this head pressure to go away. I never had this before the initial incident, ever. Has anyone had the head pressure for a long time and did it go away?
Anyways long story short, I am so happy to be a functioning human again. But what's up with this pressure? I am hoping to hear some stories of others who have been there, done that![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
I wish everyone the best of luck and please contact me if you want to chat or are having trouble. Thank you!
It has been about 7 months since I took a single dose of molly crystals (about 250mg). It was my third experience with MDMA and the past two times before that went fine. I overheated on this dose, had the first and worst panic attack of my life and almost passed out. It passed and after a good nights rest, I felt perfectly fine. 48 hours later, I had trouble breathing and my heart rate would randomly spike upwards of 160. I know this because I went to the ER 4 times with panic attacks. As the days progressed, life was a constant panic attack and I developed insomnia and agoraphobia. My whole life I slept like a log no problem and all of a sudden, I was waking up in the dark with extreme panic attacks. This lasted a few weeks and I stayed out of work saying I had pneumonia.
When I returned to work, every day crawled by. I had constant anxiety, random panic attacks, hot flashes, cold flashes, deep severe depression, emptiness, I couldn't concentrate at all. It eventually got to the point that I simply walked out the door and claimed to my job that I was sick and could no longer work. With my new found time, I saw a therapist and a psychiatrist. I was prescribed 10mg of Paxil (SSRI). I took this for 3 weeks and started to feel a little better. Then my doc increased my dose to 20mg I know doctors are supposed to gradually increase... but I said.. "Hey I'm feeling a little better, why should I increase my dose?" I was terrified of becoming dependent on this stuff. So after arguing with my doctor for several days, I bought a pill cutter and kept the dose at 10mg. Then with a great deal of courage, I cut the pills down to 5mg and noticed no changes. Then I stopped all together. I still had anxiety and depression. But it was manageable. And I made a deal with myself that unless the symptoms were completely unbearable, I would stay away from SSRIs. I was happy and proud of this accomplishment.
2 months later I made great headway. I saw a therapist weekly to talk through my problems and deal with them. I was feeling intense head pressure and rapid heartbeats almost constantly. But the depression was fading. And the panic attacks were sparse. I decided while being off work, I would take my first SOLO trip to Europe. It was really difficult, and I had a panic attack there my second day... but through my therapy and meditation I was able to overcome my anxiety and had an unforgettable time. I made great memories and friends.
Now its about 7 months since that stupid high dose of MDMA, which was more likely than not dirty. My depression is basically gone, I just still have this head pressure. Like a tight feeling in my forehead, around the eyes and down into my jaw. My heart beat is sometimes quick and sometimes I get anxiety. But I am so much better than before. I am interviewing for jobs. So if I can handle being grilled by an interviewer, I can say I am basically better. I am just waiting for this head pressure to go away. I never had this before the initial incident, ever. Has anyone had the head pressure for a long time and did it go away?
Anyways long story short, I am so happy to be a functioning human again. But what's up with this pressure? I am hoping to hear some stories of others who have been there, done that
I wish everyone the best of luck and please contact me if you want to chat or are having trouble. Thank you!
