MDMA & Long Term Phosphenes / Visual Problems

[channelorange]

Hi Everyone,

I'm really looking for some information and advice. I've had a horrendous day with anxiety due to visual problems I've had since a MDMA weekend festival binge nearly 3 months ago.

After the festival I had really bad 'brain zaps' for two weeks followed by hypnagogic hallucinations that have all but stopped now. The only problem I have now is seeing phosphenes every time I close my eyes before going to sleep (white and sometimes blue shifting cloud patterns).

They're impossible for me to ignore and have left me feeling extremely sleep deprived the past few weeks. I've had to put a small light in front of my eyes when sleeping to 'cover' the phosphenes so I can eventually get some rest.

I've kept a diary of symptoms and they do seem to have improved over the last month, but due to me completing my first ever night shift last night I've now gone 48 hours with minimal sleep as the phosphenes were particularly bad.

A few weeks ago, I got really worked up when I thought I'd developed HPPD (although I've never taken LSD) as I noticed a subjective increase in negative afterimages and a handful of floaters. After I read up about HPPD I started staring at objects (like a hypochondriac) looking for visual snow but I'm almost certain I don't have it and what I'm seeing is just 'normal' visual noise mixed with anxiety.

I work in the medical profession myself so find it extremely difficult to ask for advice for fear of stigmatisation which again leaves me feeling more helpless. I do have a doctors appointment at the end of this week but I'm not convinced they will have much experience with this complaint.

I have read certain studies that have shown MDMA lowers phosphene thresholds compared with normal subjects and I'm wondering whether mine has been lowered so much that I'm spontaneously seeing phosphenes when my eyes are closed. I wouldn't say I'm a heavy ecstasy user. I've used it every couple of months for two years. Needlessness to say I've remained abstinent since. Alcohol seems to make the phosphenes worse at the moment.

Has anyone heard of or experienced this symptom as I really can't find information anywhere about it? I'm not 100% whether those with HPPD see their visuals when their eyes are closed as descriptions online aren't always clear.

What I'm wondering is whether all these symptoms are anxiety related and will improve with time or whether I now have some organic brain pathology.

Any help / encouraging words would be appreciated more than you know.

 

[F1n1shed]

Your visual symptoms seem different than mine. What i noticed with MDMA induced visual damage was everything had a static field over it. Even staring at the clear blue sky, i could see a faint black static over it. Which started to make everything feel fake, i could not feel connected to my surroundings. Staring at my speakers for example would give me a weird vibe. They look the same, they weren't melting or anything but the way i perceived them was very different. It is hard to explain.

Serotonin and visual perception are strongly related, so it makes sense you are experiencing this and i have seen it in many other cases. The good news is, it should clear up for the most part. Even if it doesn't clear up completely (i think it will) it will clear up enough that you will be accustomed to it. Try taking some L-tryptophan to get serotonin production on its way. Research some vitamins to help your vision, vitamin A is one.

 

[SilentRoller]

Even staring at the clear blue sky, i could see a faint black static over it. Which started to make everything feel fake

I had this to a degree before I even touched drugs. Its nothing to do with MDMA, its to do with the fluid in your eyeballs. The same mechanism applies to the term 'visual floaters' (no, not floating shits), but rather the fluid in your eye-balls can sometimes accumulate small bubbles which create unusal and interesting artifacts in your vision. You can conduct this experiment by staring at the white wall for a minute and then looking away.....

I have experienced what you are desciribing for years mate. Its perfectly normal.