paranoidandroid
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2003
- Messages
- 10
MDMA - 2nd Time - All good 'till the end....not the crash, but the situation
Hey all. I've posted here a couple of times, but am mostly atp to just browsing. Tonight I had my second Ecstacy experience and now that it is pretty much over, I feel I understand more (not everything, of course) about myself, my roommates, and the substance itself.
Before delving into tonight, let's start with the first experience. One weekend, by total chance, I managed to procure two pills, two beige-ish dolphins. Having read all I could about the substance, good and bad, I felt I was prepared for experience--all I needed was the right setting. Well, it took about three weeks after I'd gotten the dolphins for the right opportunity to present itself. At around 6:00PM on a Friday night, I ingested half of one pill, figuring that since I didn't have a testing kit (yeah, yeah, I know) I'd play it safe to see how I reacted. Approximately 45 minutes after injestion, I felt a bit strange: sweaty, quickened heart rate, and actually somewhat uncomfortable. I'd read that the come up could be a little rough and that, coupled with previous experience with the likes of 2C-I and shrooms, provided me with the ability to deal with the strange journey of entering another mindspace. At one point, I got a slight "fear," a "what the hell is happening to me" feeling. That soon passed, however and suddenly I started to feel good. Really good. Holy shit good. My good friend was there when it started to hit and I detected a bit of skepticism and slight condemnation at the fact that I'd taken E for the first time (he's not into mind-altering substances, doesn't drink much, etc.) It didn't really bother me and eventually we started having a relatively decent conversation. Shortly after that my roommate, who was also very interested in trying E, showed up from work. That's when the fun began.
I offered him a pill, but due to prior commitments he declined. Along with the declination, he also alerted me that a porn party for a shy Japanese exchange student that was planned for the evening was set to occur at our apt, not at the original planned location. I was feeling pretty good at that point, but still a little apprehensive due to all the new feelings and sensations. I wasn't entirely sure that having a porn party while I was rolling would be the best idea, but a few minutes of listening to some Armin Van Buuren changed that. Suddenly I was alive and full of energy. And the euphoria was increasing steadily. From that point, the rest of the evening was magical. I spent most of the time talking to people and just generally having the time of my life. Everything seemed perfect, like this was what life was supposed be. I finally understood why the theological student who, after trying E for the first time, left bible college and started spreading the word of, and also mass-producing, E. The next day was a bit rough since I only got about 4 hours of sleep, but I was in good spirits and continued to be so for almost the whole week following.
My impression after the first attempt was that I was suddenly given the keys to some magical world that so many people were already familiar with. I felt like a member of an exclusive society, of those who "know." Though I had such a good time, I am left with doubts as to the purity of pill and believe it was probably cut with something. After a rough come up lasting 20 minutes, I rapidly approached the peak which came about two hours in. And when the peak it, it HIT. It almost felt like the peak after using coke (which I've tried a few times...). Immediately after the peak, I started crashing and, rationalizing that this was probably due to the fact that I only took half a pill, took the other half. After ingesting the second half I had a similar come-up and peak and, so wishing for the experience to continue, took another half much with the same. When I finally started coming down from the third half I felt tired, anxious and wanting more. Eventually I managed to get to sleep around 4:00. In all, the euphoria and empathy felt during those 10 or so hours were everything I expected. And I think I was most surprised at the mental clarity and ability to socialize of the whole thing. However, the quick peak and unpleasant come-up were a bit unsettling.
Recently I somehow managed to procure some more, this time pink "music notes." Like the first experience I was a little apprehensive and so took half at about 8:00PM to "test it" in a guinea pig sort of way. The other half was consumed an hour later. This time, the come up was incredibly smooth and pleasurable. I peaked in about two hours or so but instead of falling off the cliff, so-to-speak, I stayed on a plateau that gradually tapered off in a pleasant way with almost no negative feelings. About 2.5 hours in, I took another half which boosted me above the first peak and spent the rest of the evening in a pure state of bliss. So much so that I further question the purity and quality of the first pills. Perhaps the best part was that the aforementioned roommate decided to partake with me (a whole pill at first and half later). Most of the evening was spent talking, working out issues, bonding, listening to music, etc. A great time indeed. At around 2:00 we decided to head over to some other peoples' room to join the small gathering that had formed there. And that's when I saw something incredibly disturbing.
It seemed someone directly across the street was murdered this evening. As we drove past the scene, I caught a quick glimpse of the body laying there and immediately felt this horrible sense of death and evil foreboding. This feeling stuck with me for the rest of the evening and as I sit here now typing this, I can't help thinking about the image frozen in my mind--the image of floodlights and flashing lights, caution tape, and the body laying there in the midst of it all. It's strange and incredibly humbling to think that while we were have an incredible, special experience in our apartment, someone's life ended no more that 400 yards away.
While I had a cleaner, more enjoyable time the second go, I'm afraid it was marred by the ending. If anything, though, my roommate had the time of his life and I feel much closer to him and the other people there. He is currently sorting through some issues with an ex-gf and I think that he sorted many of them out tonight. For that, I can look back on the night and smile. Also, I feel like I've changed in a good way since I had the two experiences--I find it much easier to socialize in "normal life" than pre-E, for example. However, I don't think the image of the crime scene will fade from my memory anytime soon. I am definitely very interested in trying this again. Hopefully the next time will have a better ending.
I feel like I have so much more to write, like I didn't do the experiences justice here. But this post is already pretty long and I thinK I can probably get some sleep now. Thanks for reading.
Hey all. I've posted here a couple of times, but am mostly atp to just browsing. Tonight I had my second Ecstacy experience and now that it is pretty much over, I feel I understand more (not everything, of course) about myself, my roommates, and the substance itself.
Before delving into tonight, let's start with the first experience. One weekend, by total chance, I managed to procure two pills, two beige-ish dolphins. Having read all I could about the substance, good and bad, I felt I was prepared for experience--all I needed was the right setting. Well, it took about three weeks after I'd gotten the dolphins for the right opportunity to present itself. At around 6:00PM on a Friday night, I ingested half of one pill, figuring that since I didn't have a testing kit (yeah, yeah, I know) I'd play it safe to see how I reacted. Approximately 45 minutes after injestion, I felt a bit strange: sweaty, quickened heart rate, and actually somewhat uncomfortable. I'd read that the come up could be a little rough and that, coupled with previous experience with the likes of 2C-I and shrooms, provided me with the ability to deal with the strange journey of entering another mindspace. At one point, I got a slight "fear," a "what the hell is happening to me" feeling. That soon passed, however and suddenly I started to feel good. Really good. Holy shit good. My good friend was there when it started to hit and I detected a bit of skepticism and slight condemnation at the fact that I'd taken E for the first time (he's not into mind-altering substances, doesn't drink much, etc.) It didn't really bother me and eventually we started having a relatively decent conversation. Shortly after that my roommate, who was also very interested in trying E, showed up from work. That's when the fun began.
I offered him a pill, but due to prior commitments he declined. Along with the declination, he also alerted me that a porn party for a shy Japanese exchange student that was planned for the evening was set to occur at our apt, not at the original planned location. I was feeling pretty good at that point, but still a little apprehensive due to all the new feelings and sensations. I wasn't entirely sure that having a porn party while I was rolling would be the best idea, but a few minutes of listening to some Armin Van Buuren changed that. Suddenly I was alive and full of energy. And the euphoria was increasing steadily. From that point, the rest of the evening was magical. I spent most of the time talking to people and just generally having the time of my life. Everything seemed perfect, like this was what life was supposed be. I finally understood why the theological student who, after trying E for the first time, left bible college and started spreading the word of, and also mass-producing, E. The next day was a bit rough since I only got about 4 hours of sleep, but I was in good spirits and continued to be so for almost the whole week following.
My impression after the first attempt was that I was suddenly given the keys to some magical world that so many people were already familiar with. I felt like a member of an exclusive society, of those who "know." Though I had such a good time, I am left with doubts as to the purity of pill and believe it was probably cut with something. After a rough come up lasting 20 minutes, I rapidly approached the peak which came about two hours in. And when the peak it, it HIT. It almost felt like the peak after using coke (which I've tried a few times...). Immediately after the peak, I started crashing and, rationalizing that this was probably due to the fact that I only took half a pill, took the other half. After ingesting the second half I had a similar come-up and peak and, so wishing for the experience to continue, took another half much with the same. When I finally started coming down from the third half I felt tired, anxious and wanting more. Eventually I managed to get to sleep around 4:00. In all, the euphoria and empathy felt during those 10 or so hours were everything I expected. And I think I was most surprised at the mental clarity and ability to socialize of the whole thing. However, the quick peak and unpleasant come-up were a bit unsettling.
Recently I somehow managed to procure some more, this time pink "music notes." Like the first experience I was a little apprehensive and so took half at about 8:00PM to "test it" in a guinea pig sort of way. The other half was consumed an hour later. This time, the come up was incredibly smooth and pleasurable. I peaked in about two hours or so but instead of falling off the cliff, so-to-speak, I stayed on a plateau that gradually tapered off in a pleasant way with almost no negative feelings. About 2.5 hours in, I took another half which boosted me above the first peak and spent the rest of the evening in a pure state of bliss. So much so that I further question the purity and quality of the first pills. Perhaps the best part was that the aforementioned roommate decided to partake with me (a whole pill at first and half later). Most of the evening was spent talking, working out issues, bonding, listening to music, etc. A great time indeed. At around 2:00 we decided to head over to some other peoples' room to join the small gathering that had formed there. And that's when I saw something incredibly disturbing.
It seemed someone directly across the street was murdered this evening. As we drove past the scene, I caught a quick glimpse of the body laying there and immediately felt this horrible sense of death and evil foreboding. This feeling stuck with me for the rest of the evening and as I sit here now typing this, I can't help thinking about the image frozen in my mind--the image of floodlights and flashing lights, caution tape, and the body laying there in the midst of it all. It's strange and incredibly humbling to think that while we were have an incredible, special experience in our apartment, someone's life ended no more that 400 yards away.
While I had a cleaner, more enjoyable time the second go, I'm afraid it was marred by the ending. If anything, though, my roommate had the time of his life and I feel much closer to him and the other people there. He is currently sorting through some issues with an ex-gf and I think that he sorted many of them out tonight. For that, I can look back on the night and smile. Also, I feel like I've changed in a good way since I had the two experiences--I find it much easier to socialize in "normal life" than pre-E, for example. However, I don't think the image of the crime scene will fade from my memory anytime soon. I am definitely very interested in trying this again. Hopefully the next time will have a better ending.
I feel like I have so much more to write, like I didn't do the experiences justice here. But this post is already pretty long and I thinK I can probably get some sleep now. Thanks for reading.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
Haha!
